Author: Tonya

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Money-Hungry, Who Me?

birthday quiz

***Your Birthdate: May 8***

Watch out Donald Trump! You’ve got a head for business and money.
You’ll make it rich some day, even if you haven’t figured out how yet.
A supreme individualist, you shouldn’t get stuck in a corporate job.
Instead, make your own way – so that you can be the boss.

Your strength: Your undying determination

Your weakness: You require an opulent lifestyle

Your power color: Plum

Your power symbol: Dollar sign

Your power month: August

Ha ha ha — I don’t know about this? It’s partly true — I am determined, want badly to be my own boss, and am a “supreme individualist” (and I think, with this trait, I greatly annoy and worry friends and family by traveling and going to theater alone, etc., as well as dance teachers who try to dictate to me my styling and costumes, etc. 🙂 ). And I guess I do require just a bit of opulence, seeing as how I absolutely need: 1) to sit in the front orchestra at ABT so as to have the perfect view of all my wonderful men; 2) to travel to exotic places, like Rio where I can witness real Samba, and Blackpool for real ballroom dancing; and 3) to take ballroom-dancing lessons (by far the greatest cost of the three!!!!!) But I don’t really consider myself on a money power trip?… Although, maybe, this sheds light on some of my previous dating posts… Oh no, I am not a gold-digger, I swear!!!

Anyway, Konagod always comes up with these fun / goofy quizzes. If you’re dying to know what your birthday means, take the quiz here.

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Rocka My Soul!

Alvin Ailey performance at City Center

It’s Christmas time in the city! Which means, in addition to shopping till you drop … Alvin Ailey season! They opened last week, but I was still in North Carolina for their opening night gala, so today’s matinee was my first Ailey experience this season. And, as always, it was an amazing one. Above is the cast following Revelations — a ballet that for me, no choreographer will ever outdo. It will always be my favorite, will always bring tears to my eyes. And, really, you know you are a crazed, obsessed nutter of a dance fan when you are neither black nor have ever lived in the south, yet you know all of the words of the ‘negro spirituals’ sung to that ballet by heart, and can’t seem to help yourself from unconsciously singing along during the performance 🙂 … and you cannot then sit still and refrain from at least bopping your head all about during the last song, Rocka My Soul! Everyone was clapping along to that one, so my nuttiness wasn’t so noticeable 🙂 Clifton Brown is definitely my favorite (he’s from Arizona 🙂 ), and Matthew Rushing and Glenn Allen Sims (whom I’ve noticed before) both really impressed me as well this time in a lovely little pas de trois called “Solo” set to a staccato piece by Bach, and choreographed by the dutch choreographer Hans van Manen. Very playful but very lyrical and beautiful. I also saw for the first time Tharp’s The Golden Section, a very fast-paced piece much like The Upper Room, with some very difficult jumps and lifts — some jumps directly into a lift, and set to some great David Byrne music. The dancers got a standing ovation for that one, which they definitely deserved. And the final piece this afternoon was Witness, another of Ailey’s spiritual pieces. Renee Robinson gorgeously danced this solo, which was set in a church pew with a candlelit background. I’ll be seeing Revelations at least twice more this season, as well as Ailey’s other classics, and Pas de Duke, a piece that was originally choreographed for Baryshnikov and Judith Jamison and that is being revived, I think for the first time since then. Can’t wait!

After I left the theater, prompted by an H&M ad on the back of Time Out New York advertising a dress that looked very cute and very me and was discounted only today, I headed over to their store on Fifth Avenue. There, I found exactly what other bloggers have been talking about — the insanity of the New York Christmas crowds, which I hadn’t yet seen since returning from N.C.

Christmas crowds on Fifth Ave.

It was true madness. And many of the buildings are decorated. Here’s Cartier, wrapped with red ribbon, like a giant present:

Cartier building

Ugh. Glad I braved the crowd though, because, amazingly, the Fifth Ave. H&M actually had the dress in stock, which I bought 🙂
H&M sale dress

The one advertised was gold with a brown lacey overlay, but this one looked better with my coloring. Okay, it’s not Chanel, but hey, not bad for $24.90 right?

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Confident Little Me Versus Unconfident Big Me

before tap routine in Phx

While visiting my mom recently, I was searching through photo albums and came across this picture of myself. It was right before my dance school’s recital at Phoenix Symphony Hall. I was six years old. We performed a tap routine to “You’re a Grand Ole Flag”. Kristin Sloan had invited Winger readers to send in a piece about their first performance, which is what had prompted me to search through old photo albums. My mom even remembered part of my childhood tap and ballet performances being on home video. So we watched them. Unfortunately, I couldn’t write about this first experience because I have no actual recollection of it. But, interestingly, on the video I looked soooo much more at ease, so much happier, more confident, more like I was just having a load of fun bouncing around on that stage smiling widely. And, in this pic, I look so excited to go out there on stage in front hundreds, without a care in the world. Such an enormous difference from my experiences performing as an adult. I showed my mom a recent video of Pasha and me doing our rumba routine at the DTS showcase and I’m so appalled at how terrified and self-questioning I look. I think a good 90% of the problems I had with my rumba — bad lines, missed steps, near slips — were due to plain and simple nerves. What is it that you lose of yourself in adulthood — you’re so much more inhibited, so much more conscious, and afraid, of what others think of you. Not that questioning yourself is always bad — it can prevent you from making mistakes sometimes. But when it turns into self-doubt it can lead to a serious inability to act, and that’s a shame. Ugh. I want the little, confident me back!

Anyway, I ended up sending a piece on my first adult performance since I had no recollection of this one. I’m waiting to see what she does with them all before posting anything here (though it’s mostly things I’ve already blogged on previously). I definitely encourage all Winger readers to participate though — it’s fun!

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Evil Biscuits 'N Gravy!

biscuits and gravy

I ate way too much of this over the past week! I know it doesn’t really look it, but it is just so yummy! Definitely my very favorite southern dish. I gained six pounds, in just one week … Jacob took one look at me last night and said, “okay, let’s talk about music!” He’s going to be gone next week at a competition in Las Vegas, so I have two weeks to lose it before lifts begin again! Seriously, methinks I am finding a rather not so good connection between ballet and standard ballroom involving body image. Now that I have decided to do a Tharp Sinatra Suites-esque routine with Jacob, i.e. foxtrotish waltz, rather than Latin, I just keep envisioning myself romantically floating across the floor, lightweight and feathery. Latin is more about connecting to the floor, being, not heavy, but just solidly grounded. Plus, Latin dancer bodies are usually voluptuous and curvy and buff. Standard bodies are more light and weightless-looking, like ballet. Meaning, ugh, weight consciousness time…

Anyway, Jacob cracks me up. I’d bought several Sinatra and Harry Connick Jr. CDs in North Carolina so that I could listen to them on my 11-hour train ride home, and hopefully, find a good song for our next routine. I found four possibilities on the classic Sinatra CD, which I stupidly forgot to take out of the disc player and put back into its holder, which of course I remembered to bring with me to the studio but left the disc player at home. I was so mad at myself. But Jacob simply asked me what the names of the songs were, most of which I didn’t know, then asked me to sing some of the words, hum the tune even, which I did. And he named each and every song! Even with my horrible singing! We ended up deciding on “Luck Be a Lady Tonight,” which I like because it has a few different rhythms that we can play around with, and fun, saucy lyrics that can be acted out. So, it’s not a straight, syrupy love tune. Should be fun. We started playing around with choreographing the beginning, during which he took me down about three-quarters of the way into the splits, which I surprised myself by being able to do. Guess helium-filled stomach did not affect my flexibility too much! Anyway, I think it will be a fun routine.

Here are some more pictures of my trip down south to visit Mom.

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Very Serious Trouble…

Okay, I have given up trying to steal my cousin’s internet connection on my wireless. So pics of my lovely North Carolina trip, that I downloaded onto my computer, will have to wait until my return to NYC, very shortly now.

I have been here for a week and, since there is nothing to do in a small town but eat, I am in serious trouble. I am so fat I can literally barely walk. My stomach feels like it is full of a NY-Thanksgiving-parade-balloon-sized shot of helium. My mom took me to her doctor’s office to get a flu shot today and the nurse asked if I was pregnant. I said no. She turned around and looked me up and down and said, “are you sure?” I have my next dance lesson Wednesday night. Jacob is going to SCREAM when he sees me…

Well, it’s been a delicious trip. I have eaten biscuits ‘n gravy (milk gravy, that is; I don’t eat sausage) every single morning for breakfast at this lovely local diner called “Grill Worx” here in Burlington, N.C. My mom kept wanting to take me to IHOP or Bob Evans or somewhere that she considered good, but I prefer the local joints where you can get real insight into the town denizens. And practically every evening I have had delicious Mexican food — crazily I can’t seem to find a good, down-home-style Mexican place in NY, and, I guess because of the migrant workers who came to work first on the tobacco farms, now on the large wineries that are cropping up everywhere around here, North Carolina is now boasting some excellent authentic Mexican food. Fortunately, last night my Globus (more later about this lovely choking disorder I sometimes get…) began to kick in, forcing me to hold back a bit…

Anyway, since I can’t post pics myself, let us visit another blog and view Matthew Murphy’s David. Why? Why why why did he do it? Is he trying to be black (as in Othello)? Did he get tired of people calling him Golden Boy? Is he trying to distance himself from his past as a dance thong model? Will we ever know? Will he ever post again on the Winger?

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Ever So Fun Goofy Thanksgiving Meme

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Since I’m too lazy to figure out how to connect my wireless from my mom’s house in North Carolina (where I’m spending the holiday) so that I can download pics and therefore write a proper blog entry, I am cutting and pasting this “Thanksgiving meme” from one of my favorite blogs and filling in my own goofy answers. Why are these crazy things always so much fun?!

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? Oof, where did those heinous under-eye bags come from? Do I need to spend another few days contact-lense-less, or am I allergic to Katydid, the cat with whom I’m spending Thanksiving, who has found in my face her perfect little bed?

2. How much cash do you have on you? $0.33. One of best things about visiting Mom is that she pays for everything 🙂

3. First word that comes to mind that rhymes with more? Bore. (what does this say about me?!)

4. Favorite planet? Mars (reminds me both of candy and bravura men from American Ballet Theater 🙂 )

5. Who’s the fourth person on your missed call list on your cell phone? Dance Times Square, reminding me that I have an upcoming lesson.

6. What’s your favorite ringtone to download on your cell phone? Same answer for me as for ABB. I’m not savvy (or patient) enough to learn how to download ring tones. I just chose the cheesy “Latin” that came with my phone — which is totally corny and bears no resemblance whatsoever to real Latin music.

7. What shirt are you wearing? I’m wearing a black dress with a pink wrap-around Danceskin sweater.

8. Do you label yourself? Hmmm. I don’t like to, but sometimes feel the need to.

9. Name the brand of shoes you’re currently wearing. Stuart Weitzman.

10. Bright or dark room? Bright, definitely, ‘a clean well-lighted place’ 🙂

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? Love her, can’t get enough of her! She is by far my favorite non-dance blogger!

12. What does your watch look like? I don’t wear one; I use my cell phone to tell time.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Drinking green tea (as recommended by Kristin Sloan) and reading Fred Astaire’s autobiography en route to falling asleep.

14. What did your last text-message say? Can’t remember; my friends know I don’t use the cell all that much and prefer email 🙂

15. Where is your nearest 7-11? Geez, dunno; I don’t think we even have any in NY??

16. What’s a word that you say a lot? Heinous (used hyperbolically).

17. Who told you he/she loved you last? Mom.

18. Last furry thing you touched. A sweet, smelly, slobbery lovable black Lab named Gilley, who lives with Mom.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? Does Advil count? If so, four doses for tendonitis flare-up.

20. How many loads of film do you need developed? None; I only use my digital now.

21. Favorite age you’ve been so far. 23, when I’d just moved to New York and before I went to law school.

22. Your worst enemy: My own self doubt.

23. What is your current desk-top picture? A vintage New Yorker cover.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? Pass the mashed potatoes, please … again. (I don’t eat turkey).

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or be able to fly, what would it be? Million bucks, definitely. I have fear of flying!

26. Do you like someone? For sure.

27. The last song you listened to. ‘Rocka My Soul’ from Alvin Ailey’s ‘Revelations’ soundtrack.

28. What time of day were you born? 4:15 a.m.

29. What’s your favorite number? 3.

30. Where did you live in 1987? Arizona.

31. Are you jealous of anyone? I try not to be, but can’t help succumbing to that nasty little emotion from time to time.

32. Is anyone jealous of you? I hope not.

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened? On the PATH train from Hoboken, bound for the concourse of the World Trade Center. Needless to say, I didn’t get to my destination; train stopped halfway under the Hudson river and we returned to N.J. I’ll never forget what I saw when I angrily emerged from the station for the rest of my life, of course.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? I honestly can’t remember the last time I ever used one.

35. Do you consider yourself kind? Yes.

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? I can’t imagine ever getting one! They’re just not me 🙂

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? Mandarin.

38. Would you move for the person you loved? Ohhhh, I really don’t think so, I love New York so. Only if it was absolutely essential to his health or career and only if it was to a city not one bit less exciting!

39. Are you touchy-feely. I guess so 🙂

40. What’s your life motto? Geez, this is questionnaire is hard! I’m stealing Hughes de Montalembert’s (which is posted on the side of my blog) — “If you learn to dance with people, with life, than nothing wrong can happen to you.” I was introduced to this man at the Tribeca Film Festival. He was a French artist and filmmaker who was blinded with his own paint eraser by burglars in New York in the not-so-good-old-days here. He learned to “see” in other ways, traveled, and became a writer. Talk about not letting life’s tragedies get you down…

41. Name three things that you have on you at all times. pen, notebook, camera.

42. What’s your favorite town / city? Duh, New York! After that, Paris.

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash? A cheese and cracker plate and mini bottle of white zinfandel, on the Amtrack from NY to North Carolina.

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? In June, I wrote a letter to my dad to accompany my Father’s Day card.

45. Can you change the oil on a car? Hell no! I’ve lived in NY for so long now, I don’t know if I still even know how to drive!

46. Your first love, what was the last thing you heard about him / her? My very first love ever, that he had dropped out of high school. (Can’t even imagine what he’s doing now). My first love in adulthood, that he’s a professor at the University of Chicago, that bastard!

47. How far back do you know about your ancestry? Just about three generations, unfortunately. I know that my great great paternal grandmother was an American Indian from the Blackfoot tribe!

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy? For the finals evening of the U.S.National DanceSport Championships in Florida, we were supposed to dress up. I wore a little black cocktail dress and a crotched green shawl with black velvet tango shoes.

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now? No,thanks to the aforementioned Advil! Before that, my left tendonitis-prone knee was aching a bit.

50. Have you been burned by love? Definitely.

Okay, gotta get back to Mom. Thanks to ABB and Toddspot for the fun diversion from food and family 🙂

I don’t know how to tag people, but if anyone else does the survey, let me know! And happy Thanksgiving all!

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Oh How I Wish I Were In Ohio Right Now…

Ohio Star Ball advertisement

I know, odd thought, right. But that is where the Ohio Star Ball is happening right now. Decided not to go this year to save money and vacation time at work, but now I’m so sad! Tonight they are filming America’s Ballroom Challenge there. I went last year when they filmed the show for PBS for the first time in many years, and it was so much fun being part of a studio audience. Making fun of Marilu Henner with her umpteenth costume changes and do-overs, cheering wildly for no reason at all simply because the announcer told us to, watching the camera-man operate his elephantine machinery to get the most interesting shot… such an experience.

Anyway, I peeked at their website to find out when it’s going to be broadcast on PBS, and they seem not to have set the date yet. But, they are now re-airing last year’s show. In New York, it’s going to be on Channel Thirteen this Wednesday, November 22nd from 8-10 p.m., and elsewhere in the country it’s set to air on December 25th. Check your local PBS listings for the exact times.

Everyone please watch it if you can! This is soooo much better than Dancing With the Stars — in my mind at least! These are the best Latin and ballroom dancers in the country, and this is what a real ballroom competition looks like. The first half is where the finalists are all on the floor at once, competing for the judges’ attention, which is the main part of an authentic ballroom comp. And the second half is where the top three from the finals round perform a solo exhibition showcase, which is flashier, and hence like the popular TV show, but is only a very small part of a real competition. Andrei Gavriline is my favorite Latin male — and he’s the current US champ, so someone agrees with me 🙂 He’s tall and thin and dances with such amazing speed, he really seems to fly across the floor. And his body is such a contrast with that of his tiny former-gymnast wife, Elena Kryuschkova. She appears just to fly up into his arms during their lifts. My favorite showdance couples are Max Kozhnevnikov and Yulia Zagoruychenko, who do the most amazing ballroom samba I’ve ever seen, and Emmanuel Pierre-Antoine and Joanna Zacharewicz, the current world Mambo champs, who do a super fun, encore Mambo. Also, in the first hour, please watch for couple number 310 (Pavel Kovalev and Anna Garnis). They didn’t make it to the solos, and it’s such a shame because they really know how to put on a show, more than many ballroom dancers I think. They have incredible rhythm, she is one of the most voluptuous female dancers, and they are so much fun to watch. All of this is apparent, though, in the first half 🙂 Go couple 310!

Okay, that is my happy ballroom reflection for the day. In world of ballet, look how gorgeous David Hallberg looks!!!! (Here with Winger woman Kristin Sloan, and Matthew Murphy, posted on Matt’s blog). His face is maturing and he is really starting to look like a man 🙂 He looks 10 years older than in his pic on the cover of Pointe magazine from earlier this year…

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Orgasm and the Successful Straight Woman, Part II

Apropos of my earlier post, my friend, Kathy, sent me this article, which I found very disturbing. It’s by journalist Vicky Ward, though it sounded a bit like Candace Bushnell, and was in the Financial Times. She basically says that highly successful men — at least of the business variety — do not want careerist women, or even women with any sense of self. Rather, they need handmaids who, while glamorous and intelligent, exist to cater to their every need, like a mommy or personal servant:

“He wanted someone who was smart enough to read him, in the same way every top-level executive needs a personal assistant smart enough to know, instinctively when to speak, when to stay away and when to put the call through. . . He needed this person to run his life seemlessly so that his time would never be wasted with menial tasks like reading an electric bill, packing a suitcase or instructing the staff. . . He needed someone glossy enough to reflect his glory and power but clever enough to know not to outshine him. She needed to know when to chatter away charmingly and when to shut up … ”

So, a successful businessman needs a wife who’s smart, sophisticated and glamorous but who will completely subjugate her every will and desire to him. Just when I was asking myself whether we were living in 2006 or Jane Austen times, when women were educated simply for the purpose of obtaining a man, and what kind of woman intelligent, educated and cultured enough for these men would actually be interested in landing such a child-husband, Ward announces that these women so subject themselves because they’ve presumably signed pre-nups and know they will be left with only $5 million and an apartment, which is nothing here, “since Manhattan for single women over 40 can be a brutal place.”

This remark makes me think the article is a joke. Kathy says it’s not. But, I mean Ward has to be saying that tongue-in-cheek, right? Does she really think the city is brutal for women over 40 or for those who have only $5 million? Or, am I just so poor that I have no idea what’s at stake for those accustomed to having five houses, their own jet, and a full help staff?!

Ha ha, it’s funny because, in looking for a link to Bushnell, I found this interesting article which half confirms and half provides a counter-point to Ward.

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Return of the Ball-Busting Ballroom Dancer…

Aye, I do not know what’s wrong with me. I am doing the same thing to Jacob that I did to poor Luis. And worse, it’s not with my head this time, but with my heel. Jacob was trying to teach me this lift from Tharp’s Sinatra Suites where he picks me up from the waist, I kick one leg up and go into splits in the air, and he swings me around in one rotation in that position. When he brings me down, I’m supposed to do a tango lunge, bending the front knee and sliding the back leg straight down on the floor between his legs. But for some reason, my body, which often works completely independently of my brain, keeps straightening the front leg and bending the back knee, so that my back heel is aimed right at his crotch on my way down. And, unlike Luis, who waited until the coach was around to quietly ask him how to fix this little problem, Jacob does not mince words. “Your heel is coming right at my man-part, Bunny!” he shouted excitedly. Who can blame him? Problem is, it made me all the more nervous, and I started doing it worse. I just can’t figure out what this is about. Did I suffer some weird childhood thing that I’ve repressed? Do I have something to say subconsciously that I can’t bring myself to express in words? Needless to say, we very quickly changed our lift-practice tonight to those where I lie on his back and kick into the air, AWAY from all of his body parts…

BTW, I have Stuttgart Ballet soloist Evan McKie to thank for the goofy term in this post’s title. He’s a newish, and very fun contributor to The Winger. Is it obvious yet how much I adore that website!?!

So, Emmitt has won “Dancing With the Stars.” Good for him, and good for us that footballers have tuned in to our sport in big numbers 🙂 Of course this means that my Latin goddess, Karina Smirnoff, did not take her student all the way to the top. But I got to watch her world-class dancing throughout the season, and got to know her personality a bit, which, happily, I found fun but in control, sweetly sassy, and, above all, damn hard-working, which is expected of anyone at the top of her game. Can’t wait to see you at Blackpool, lady!

Karina at Blackpool

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Are Straight Women All Doomed to Orgasm-less Lives Like Sophia in Shortbus?…

Lincoln Center fountain

Last night was so beautiful! Imagine, 60-degree evening temperatures in New York in November! The world’s not all bad…

I ended up without plans, so decided to go to the opera, forgetting that the Met Opera is not the NYCBallet or the ABT, where there are nearly always last-minute Family Circle (that’s poor-people nosebleed section) tickets available. Also didn’t realize that last night was Anthony Minghella’s new production of Madame Butterfly, so not only were there no below-$250 seats available, there were no seats available at all. I waited in the cancellation line anyway, but to no avail. Ended up spending a lovely evening, though, soaking up the gentle misty breeze by sitting on the edge of the plaza fountain people-watching.

But, while in line, I couldn’t help but become quite engrossed in a conversation taking place behind me. Two women in their mid-forties, whose friends were outside trying to buy tickets directly from patrons while they waited in the official cancellation line, struck up a conversation with each other. One asked the other where she bought her boots, yadda yadda, then they exchanged questions of who they were there with — both were with female friends — and soon the conversation turned to men. Neither had ever been married, and neither had a boyfriend, though both were looking. Both were high-level executives with several advanced degrees. Both had been on umpteenth dates recently — had tried Eharmony, Jdate, Match.com, you name it — and were appalled at what they’d met. Not that the men they’d met were lying cheating deadbeat loser date-rapists or any such thing; just that they were horrendously under-sophisticated, under-accomplished, witless bores.

Today I finally got around to seeing the movie Shortbus. The film focuses on the sexual aspect of relationships, and centers around a group of twenty- to thirty-something New Yorkers and their various problems. I thought some of the dialog was witty (although at the beginning seemed a bit writerly), and the character I found most compelling was a gay man from a backwater town who’d turned to hustling in his younger years because it was the only way he knew how to express his sexuality — a situation that involved a lot of abuse and eventually resulted in adult inability to be physically close with his partner. Anyway, the main female character — Sophia — I found rather sadly funny. Her problem was that she couldn’t have an orgasm. I’m actually not sure what explanation the screenwriters ended up giving for this — the character mentioned something about having strict parents during a therapy session with a dominatrix. But I thought it was so damn obvious — she couldn’t have an orgasm because her husband was a pathetic loser. He wasn’t a bad person at all — he was a nice, and rather cute guy — just boring as hell and nowhere near a match for her accomplishments. Cute doesn’t cut it these days…

I’ve tried some of those dating services those Met women were talking about and found the same thing they did, the same thing Sophia was left with. And I don’t think it’s the Helen Fielding / Nick Hornby dilemma we’re facing at this point: I don’t think most of them are noncommittal cheaters. Many of the guys I dated weren’t scared of commitment, it was more that they were ready to settle down as long as that meant moving to some boring suburban town where they could spend as little time in the office as possible and come home every night to the TV and DVD player. I swear, several men listed TiVo and Netflix in their “Five Things I Can’t Live Without” lists. They didn’t have interesting jobs, they weren’t impassioned about their careers, they just didn’t seem interested in really doing something with their lives, in really being someone. Most of them had less education than I did and less career and educational achievements. I think for most women, like for Sophia in the movie, it’s hard if not impossible to feel sexual passion for a man they don’t feel passion for in general. And who can feel passion for these guys?

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Vestibular Rehab For the Dizzy Girl

NYU Rusk Institute

Since beginning dance a couple of years ago now, I’ve always noticed that I seem to get a bit dizzier than others, even when just doing a few simple turns in a row. Now that I’ve started to do crazier things, such as lifts where the guy holds me over his head and spins and spins and spins with me completely in the air with no sensory reception coming from a foot being planted firmly on the floor, the dizziness is getting a little out of control. For a few years now, on and off, I’ve also experienced, unrelated to dance, some short bouts of vertigo, which is really scary. That’s when suddenly the world around you spins and spins and spins, and you completely lose all sense of equilibrium, unable even to tell which way is up, which was is right, which is left, etc. I usually only got those every few years, but when they increased to every few months, I decided it was time to go to the ENT. He did a bunch of tests and, sure enough, I have a small but present vestibular malfunction stemming from an embarrasingly stupid experience I had many years ago flying with a severe cold, when I used those supposed ear stabilizers they sale in drug stores. The stabilizers had the opposite effect on me, the ER doctor told me, because I happen to have very narrow ear canals, something I hadn’t then known. I’d flown from somewhere on the East Coast — likely TFGreen airport in Providence — home to Phoenix to visit my parents for the holidays, and when I got off the plane, in addition to unbearable pain in my ears, I couldn’t hear a thing — I saw my mom running toward me grinning hugely, arms out ready to hug me, lips moving joyfully, but it was like being in a silent film. I’d badly damaged both eardrums, for which I received antibiotics and everything was okay, but apparently I have some permanent slight vestibular malfunction.

So, doctor sent me to The Rusk Institute, run by the NYU Medical Center, pictured above. I’m about half way through the therapy, which will likely last about 8 weeks (I go once a week), and it’s going pretty well. My therapist says I’m far more advanced than the other patients there, which is good, because they’re mostly very elderly people or stroke victims. Interestingly, he thinks my TAC headaches may possibly be related to this, but that’s something I have to take up with my Columbia neurologist…

Anyway, here is one of my at-home exercises:

Vestibular Rehab B exercise

I have to hold this piece of paper about an arm’s distance from my face and move it from side to side while keeping my eyes focused on the B, and while walking down a long hallway. It’s a lot more dizzying than it looks! I also have to, without the paper, walk down a long hallway and every two steps make a 180-degree turn. So, I walk forward two steps, then turn and walk backward two steps, then turn and walk forward two steps, etc. Then, I have to do the same thing but making a full 360-degree turn, every three to five steps. Those are actually easier because it’s a little easier to spot, as I’ve been taught in dance classes, since your head is whipping around in one rotation. But part of the point of the exercise is not to spot so that I habituate to the feeling of dizziness while walking down a street or turning in real life, when I’m not dancing and concentrating on spotting.

The funniest part is some of the in-therapy exercises. I brought in a tape of Luis and me performing our mambo routine to show my therapist the lift/spin that really makes me want to retch. He kept the tape and not only viewed it himself but showed it to the head therapist there, who is a former ballet dancer(!), and the head of the center, all of whom said it would be near impossible to habituate oneself to such a thing and that no one in their right mind would NOT get dizzy! So, my therapist has taken to putting me in a chair with wheels, making me lean my head back, and spinning me around and around and around and around. He said he got dizzy just watching me. I really almost lost my lunch the last time! But I’m just glad a ballet dancer-turned-vestibular rehab specialist agrees with me that my Latin teachers are a bit off their nuts 🙂

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Marcelo vs. Misha

 

Okay, call me crazy, but I say Marcelo Gomes wins?!? Am I insane? Is that the (dance) definition of insanity, thinking any other dancer is better than Baryshnikov??? For me, it’s kind of like Cabaret. My first viewing of it was the play directed by Sam Mendes and starring Alan Cumming and Jennifer Jason Leigh. I fell into deep infatuation with Cumming. I then rented the film from the library and couldn’t for the life of me understand what my parents’ generation saw in Joel Grey. And I couldn’t understand why Liza Minelli had her American accent. The film was all off to me! All of my older friends thought I was deranged. And now, it’s the same with Baryshnikov v. Gomes. When I saw it performed by ABT for the first time this season, being a ballroom dancer / balletomane / mad crazed nutty Marcelo-mane and all, I was beyond smitten. And now that I see it on tape, performed by someone else, with a different interpretation of Frank, it’s just not the same.

Anyway, the important thing, and the reason I bought the DVD, is that, I showed it to Jacob last night during my lesson and he’s totally into teaching me the choreography!!!!!! It’s NOT above my head, says he, unlike a certain MacMillan version of Romeo and Juliet 🙂 and I can learn it, and we can do our own, more ballroomy version, but most definitely with all the lifts (!) for the next showcase! Jacob just said I need to learn, big-time, how to hold myself. He called me “bunny cakes” when he said this (“You’re gonna need to learn big time how to hold yourself, bunny cakes!”). What would the dance world be without gay men 🙂 🙂 🙂

On a last note… so the Dancing With the Stars finale is going to be Mario versus Emmitt. I really liked Joey, and at first was annoyed that football fans, for the second time, were voting for who I thought the least deserving to make it to the finals. But then I thought, well hey, this means that football fans are really tuning into dance these days. That’s cool. The merging of one of the country’s most popular sports and ballroom dancing. Tres interesting times we are livin’ in…