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Off To The Land of "Bad Boys"!!!

Ugh, I had planned to do my write-ups of Gypsy and Pilobolus this afternoon (basically, liked but didn’t love both of them), but got carried away with a brief, of all things! Evil case I found at the last minute that threw a wrench in my argument! Anyway, Alyssa and I are off to Jacob’s Pillow to see Brazilian Samba / Ballet /Ballroom troupe MIMULUS, and my eagerly awaited BAD BOYS OF DANCE hehehe. So excited! I promise lots of blogging (and write-ups of Gypsy and Pilobolus when I return). Only drawback is that I’ll have to miss this week’s SYTYCD 🙁 But looking forward to reading all about it and hearing everyone’s take and seeing YouTube clips when I get back! Please Pasha and Danny be safe…

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The Gay / Straight Thing Revisited: We Must All Just Say No to Homophobic Men!!!

There have been a few more good comments added to that former post on Pasha and Marcelo and all that stuff. Since I don’t yet know how to have “recent comments” show on the side bar (I know, it’s ridiculous that I still don’t entirely know how to use my blogging software! Sorry!), I wanted to point them out to everyone because the comments are so astute.

I just want to say that, though I love the commentary and think this is obviously a very important discussion, it makes me so mad that we even have to have it, because if homophobic men didn’t exist we wouldn’t. When women (or gay men) ask about a guy’s sexuality, like the girls enquiring about Pasha, we’re simply trying to figure out whether he’d be into us — if a guy isn’t into your gender, you don’t want to embarrass yourself by going after him, obviously! Not that you still can’t flirt with a dance star who turns out to be gay, but you flirt in a different way. Bottom line: with us, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to know!

The problem is that we dance fans (particularly ballet fans, but all dance fans really), have ALL had that absolutely horrible situation where you’re talking to your male friend or maybe even boyfriend and you suggest going to a dance performance and he turns on you like a rabid beast. “I’m not going to see a bunch of —- in tights,” he screams at you. And what do we all say — WHAT DO WE ALL SAY??? “Oh no, they’re not all gay! So and so’s not gay, and so and so is straight, and look, so and so has a girlfriend and so and so’s even married!…” When what we should be saying is, “homophobia is wrong.” Period. End of discussion. And if he can’t understand what we’re saying, or replies, oh I’m not homophobic, no not me, I just don’t want to look at a bunch of ‘sissies, it’s just not my thing, I have better things to do with my time, etc. etc. etc., then we should ask him why he has such issues, is he confused? Why should he have such a problem seeing another man’s body if he’s at peace with his own sexuality?

I recently had this exact altercation with someone. It was so horrible I can’t even express (especially since this person is in the dance world). He asked me what my plans were for the coming week and I excitedly began chirping on about ABT saying that one of my favorite dancers would be performing the next night (not Marcelo but the other ABT guy I’m always on about). I asked him if he’d like to join me. Was I in for rejection. “Oh my god, that guy is so gay it’s not even funny … I knew the second I saw him. I’ll never watch any of that crap. It’s so unappealing to a straight man, you have to understand that, Tonya. It’s just … it’s just … ick,” he said as if I was a child who needed to be taught a life lesson. I’ll never forget that intense look of disgust in his eyes, and how awful it made me feel that someone could be so hateful toward a man who’s never done anything wrong to him, who creates such beauty, whom I have so much admiration for. I opened my mouth to reply but no words would come out; there’s no way to combat that kind of visceral emotion with appeals to logic and reason.

For me personally, I’m honestly not sure I really want to associate with that guy again. He then started making sexist remarks that really bothered me too. People who are filled with such anger and disgust over someone’s sexuality not only have problems with their own, but in general, I just find them to be uncultured, shallow, not very well-read, not very sophisticated, not very well raised — how could such a person expand my universe, make me think, be an interesting, kind, caring friend? What could their companionship possibly offer me? If someone is disrespecting your favorite dancer, your hobby, or your passion, then he’s disrespecting you. And none of us should put up with that.

Anyway, go here to re-view the post and new comments!

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Eight Interesting Things About Yourself Meme

I was tagged by a new blog friend, Virginia Lee, for this meme. Ms. Lee found me through an internet search on SYTYCD and I’m honored to be included in her and her circle of friends’ “game of tag” — so thanks Virginia!

It was really really hard for me to come up with answers to an open-ended questionnaire like this and I’m not sure if any of these things are actually interesting or just weird (or not), but here goes:

1) I suffer from two somewhat bizarre disorders: 1) TAC (trigeminal autonomic cephalgia) headaches, and 2) Globus Sensate, or, depending on whether you’re a Freudian, Globus Hystericus. Of course neither disorder may be all that unusual: the first is often misdiagnosed as migraine headache, and the second is psychological, so when patients show up at their doctor’s office complaining of a strange lump in the throat that won’t go away and makes it difficult to swallow, speak and sometimes even breathe and all manner of medical tests are performed that yield no results, the medical doctor often dismisses the patient with an “it’s nothing,” “it’s all in the head,” or “just don’t think about it and it’ll go away.”

2) My favorite thing to have for dessert is a bowl of Cocoa Pebbles 🙂

3) I’ve studied French, Spanish, Russian, and Mandarin but can’t speak any language besides English. I can read street and subway signs in Russia though!!! And, unlike the other three, I can semi-understand Russian spoken by natives, so even if you only know a little bit, it’s not that hard to be a traveler there. It’s a heavy language and therefore must be spoken very slowly, so even Russians themselves can’t go flying through their sentences at lightening speed!

4) My great grandmother was a Blackfoot American Indian.

5) I’m really sensitive to noise and so, when I am working or sleeping, am easily bothered by other people’s TVs and stereos (NYC is a GREAT place for people like me 🙂 ) So, I drown it out with … tango music. I have no idea why but tango music works ideally for that. Other kinds of music — whether classical, pop, or other kinds of Latin, involve me too much, further reducing my concentration. For some odd reason, not tango!

6) After 9/11 I didn’t fly for over three years (was looking up into the sky at the second plane from a little too close), and I love to travel. So I then fell in love with long train rides and cruises (favorite train ride from NY is to Montreal and cruise to Puerto Rico). What finally got me on a plane again was a ballroom dance competition! I couldn’t afford to take off the time from work required to Amtrak it down to Florida (30 hours each way), and NY to Miami is a relatively short flight, so it was perfect. Still, I’m a very nervous flyer, and, since then the farthest I’ve been is only London (eight hour flight when going against the wind). I used to fly all over the place… I’m going to have to go to Brazil or something. Will just have to down a bottle of wine before boarding (perhaps something stronger….)

7) I’ve never pumped gasoline into a car before. I guess this is on my mind since I’m about to take a road trip (to Jacob’s Pillow, in the Berkshires, in MA). I moved to NYC when I was just out of grad school and had never owned a car before, and now never drive, so it was just something I never had the lovely experience of doing. My friends enjoy making fun of me though. Are self serves legal though anymore? In NY and NJ they’re not, but they were in the West, where I grew up.

8) I went to law school because I actually thought I could help change the world — through the LAW!!! So sad that this is a joke…

Okay, now I have to tag eight people:

1) Bellydancer Natalia, the very first commenter on my blog who I didn’t already know! (Thanks Natalia 🙂 )

2) My friend, of whom I am eminently jealous since she had the courage to leave law school: Parker. She’s a Bellydancer, Ballroom dancer, Ballet dancer, and possible future Burlesque dancer — if it’s a form of dance and it begins with a “B” she’s done it!

3) Theater dancer Erin, whose creative post titles have exposed me to all kinds of Broadway show lines and who has cracked me up many a time with her zany audition adventures!

4) My fellow ballet-lover, Oberon, who is perhaps even more obsessed with New York City Ballet than I am with ABT.

5) My fellow ABT-omane, Jennifer, whom I met here, but who now lives in CA and whose views from the West of our favorite ballet company I am really enjoying.

6) Ditto for Art, my newish blog friend, a fellow Marcelo-crushee and new Veronika Part admirer 🙂

7) M, my favorite ballet dancer / emerging choreographer to get into really REALLY funny dance fights with 🙂

8) open to anyone. If I accidentally left someone out who wants to take part, please do, just let me know when you put up your post so I can read it! (I left out people who look too busy gallavanting all over Europe, getting married, interning at big huge magazines in NYC, or who just haven’t posted in forever for whatever reason). Also, if tagees are too busy, don’t worry, I understand! This was ridiculously hard!