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Ugh, My Sinatra Suite Is Not Goin’ So Sweet…

 

Extremely corny play on words, I know…

Ugh. Last night I had another ballroom lesson with my private lesson teacher, with whom I’m working on a foxtrotish version of Tharp’s Sinatra Suites for the school’s next student showcase, coming up in April. I had a very stressful day at work, and I was so frazzled I completely forgot to eat, which, before a dance lesson, is just not conducive to success. At least not with me. About half an hour before I had to leave for the studio, I tried to scarf down some yogurt and granola, but ever since I developed my Globus a few years ago, scarfing is just not possible; I have to eat s-l-o-w-l-y. Anyway, I managed to ingest about 1/4 of the cup, while stretching and packing up some home-work for later in the evening (nothing like multi-tasking!). But, with only a bowl of cereal and small cup of coffee about nine hours earlier, that quarter cup of yogurt wasn’t enough to keep me focused.

I think. Or it could just be the increasingly weird dynamic I seem to be having lately with my teacher. He seemed to be yelling at me for everything. He kept telling me to look in the mirror at how bad I looked, how crooked and broken my lines were, and how horrible my posture was. And I couldn’t always understand what was bad. Maybe you just can’t see yourself properly in a mirror. (And, he told me to bring a camcorder to my next lesson, so I could videotape myself, which I think is a good idea, since I do seem to pick up on things I hadn’t seen in the mirror … as long as I don’t obsess too much over my flaws). But, in the mirror at least, I don’t always understand how what I’m doing is not right. For example, I’ve been told before — repeatedly actually — that, since I have hyperextended arms, they should be a bit softened (slightly bent at the elbow so as to look graceful and not harsh) — have been told that by both ballet teachers and Pasha, my erstwhile Latin teacher. But this teacher tells me hyperextended is good and I need to make maximum use of that and show it off by making sure my arms are completely straight out at all times, never the least bit bent. But sometimes I couldn’t extend my arms as long and straight out as he wanted me to — I was reaching and reaching and stretching, while he kept chanting “more more more” but they just wouldn’t go any farther out without pulling my blasted shoulder out of its socket! And, when he’d pull on an arm to try to help me make that line, that’s exactly what it felt like! Or, he’d twist my rib cage area if I wasn’t doing “cross body movement” properly, or slap my wrist down if it my hand was extended outward instead of down, or he’d twist my wrist if he wanted me to hold my hands palms facing up instead of down. And some of the ways he was handling me were a little scary. I know he was just trying to correct me, but I had to ask him, nicely of course, if he could be a little gentler, especially with my left wrist since I have a partially torn a ligament in that one, and could have to have surgery if it gets any worse, which I most definitely don’t want. He apologized and explained that he just didn’t want to have to keep repeating himself, and besides, if I didn’t learn how to give him my body weight properly and to maintain the proper push / pull connection with him, especially on a trick like a lunge or stretch, I could hurt myself very easily.

I know that’s true, and that if you don’t have proper technique, both partner-dancing and alone, you can incur serious injury. But on the other hand, I have a very hard time learning when I feel like I’m being yelled at. I just get all flustered and can’t do anything right. And, we were going to put this overhead lift into our routine, and I know myself, and if I’m the least bit scared of the guy I’m dancing with, I’m not going to trust him and I’m subconsciously going to be pulling myself down while he’s trying to get me up into the air, and we could both hurt each other. I need to feel very comfortable with the guy in order to trust him, and in order to do hard things properly. I actually don’t see how anyone can dance with a partner they don’t feel completely comfortable with. It makes me feel for professionals who have to partner someone they’re not comfortable with.
Anyway, I don’t know if it was the lack of food or the pressure but I just couldn’t do anything right, and I couldn’t even remember the rather simple choreography we’ve done so far. I really thought at one point he was going to kill me! I mean, I know he wants me to dance well, and of course I want to be the best I can be, and I appreciate that he is serious and not lazy. But, on the other hand, I am never going to be a professional dancer, and this is supposed to be fun. I think for the first time, after leaving a hard day at work behind to head to the studio, I did not feel my stress-level lessened. Maybe I should put this routine on hold for a while and save the showcase for next October when they have it at a Manhattan theater (as opposed to Long Island, where it is in the spring), when all of my friends can attend again. In the meantime, I can lighten up and maybe learn some standard ballroom from the standard teacher, reducing my private lesson to every other week instead of every week to decrease expenses…. I hate to abandon some of the pretty Tharp-esque choreography I was trying so hard to learn though … although what we’re doing doesn’t look much like what Baryshnikov and Elaine Kudo were doing on the tape anyway… I guess genuine foxtrot ballroom and balletish ballroom are two completely different things. I hadn’t realized that. I have a lot to learn about dance, apparently.

Anyway, I guess I will be thinking about this — where to go with my ballroom dancing from here — over the long weekend, since I don’t have my next lesson scheduled until next Friday…

But, the GREAT thing about last night was that I saw a very good ballroom friend: the always sugar-sweet, always full of motherly advice, the splendidly charmingly wonderful, Elaine, whom I haven’t seen since our October showcase! She was having a coaching with the studio owner. When, after my class, I practically fell right into her open arms crying, like a ridiculous baby, she insisted I accompany her to her favorite nearby diner for a glass of wine and some much-needed comfort food, and a pep talk. Funny thing about food though is that, when I haven’t eaten all day and I’m completely stressed, I seem to have no appetite. Well, I ordered some very greasy, very tasty fries, and a glass of the house red (just to cut cholesterol levels from ingestion of said fries, of course 🙂 )

Elaine

And here, Miss Elaine is being her silly self 🙂 (Notice my ever so nutritious dinner in foreground):
Elaine II

Anyway, it ended up being a very good night after all, full of catching up on life, receiving sound motherly advice on managing work stress and dealing with dance teachers (!), and enjoying good, trashy comfy food. Thanks Elaine 🙂 🙂 🙂

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"Bloggies" Are Here…

I’m so new to blogging, I really don’t know how important these blog awards are, but from now through this Wednesday, January 10th, nominations are being taken for the 2006 annual “Bloggie” awards. Again, Dance is not represented as a category, and again, I am annoyed. There is a category called “Topical” which covers all blogs on topics not covered under the other category topics, so you could nominate dance blogs in that category. But since winning is based entirely on the number of nominations and votes a blog gets, it seems to me that any topical blog that doesn’t have its own category is not going to do very well. Not that we all want to be competing against each other or anything, but I am just so sick of seeing dance underrepresented in just about everything…

Anyway, to nominate, vote, or just check it out, go here.

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I Won a "Rodney" Blog Award!!!

Public Defender Blog Awards Announcement

Ha ha ha — I am extremely delighted to announce that I just won a blogging award (my first!) 🙂 It’s from the Public Defender Investigator Network’s Blog, who suitably named their awards “The “Rodneys,” as in comedian Rodney “I get no respect” Dangerfield, which I think is hilarious! My category is, aptly, “Best Title of a Blog That Has Nothing To Do With the Job” — what, you mean, Swan Lake Samba Girl doesn’t just scream Public Defender??? 🙂 Also in my category, as runner-up, is Knit in the City, a charming knitting blog.

Seriously, this is a very fun honor!! Here are the other winners (most of whom write actual Public Defender blogs!)

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Front Page of New York Law Journal!

Judge Faulted for Game Show article in NYLJ

So, the story about my case made the front page of the New York Law Journal yesterday! (It’s the one at the bottom, titled “Judge Faulted For Offering Defendant ‘Game Show’ Choice”) My quote is on page two.

article page two

Mr. Perrotta actually closed the article with my words, which made sense because it was a good sum-up of the strange case. He just quoted me saying I was happy that Mr. Nicholson (my client) had the conviction removed from his record now and that the case was very odd and I’d never seen anything like it before. So I managed not to sound like a Valley Girl after all! (I think…) At least if I did say something nutty over the phone like, “I was like, I totally can’t believe the judge did that!,” Mr. Perrotta used the coherent sentence! The reporter’s first name is Tom, by the way, so he shares the same name as the novelist who wrote Election and Little Children. I assume it’s not the same writer — maybe I was interviewed by a famous novelist! Anyway, I’d link to the article online but you can’t access it unless you’re a subscriber to that newspaper. All the guys in the mail room — Pete, Anthony, and Craig — were jokingly calling me “Miss Hollywood” all day and asking for my autograph 🙂

Then, later in the day, Pete brought me this sweet Christmas card from another of my clients, from prison. Look how cute this angel is…

Christmas card from client

And, this must be my fifteen minutes of fame weekend, because Kristin Sloan posted the picture I’d sent to the Winger of my first performance as a child!! She’s still taking Winger reader submissions of their “First Performance” pieces, by the way, so everyone who has ever performed should send one in to her! Do it! It’s fun 🙂

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Valley Girl Attorney Will NOT Be Going to Bahia!

decision I won all ready to be served

Yesterday at work, I got a call from a reporter from a big law journal here, wanting to do a short interview with me about the case I recently won. I was getting lunch when he called, so he left a message. When I returned to my desk and listened to my voice mail, I freaked out a bit. I’ve never spoken to the press before! So, I re-read my brief and the D.A.’s brief, re-read the Court’s decision about eight or nine times, even re-read some of the cases I relied on and the Court cited. I was so nervous. I mean, I think I am the typical appellate attorney: i.e. a bookish writer-type, who can’t talk her way out of a paper bag — which is why I am an appeals lawyer, and not a trial one, after all! Ugh. I took so much time re-reading everything in sight, that I must have returned his call too late in the day, and missed him, because I sat by the phone, like a high-schooler waiting desperately for the boy she likes to call her back, until well into the evening. Around 7ish, I finally decided it was time for me to leave the office for the day; I figured he’d call back tomorrow.

I was so frazzled in the evening, I thought I’d better do something to bring my stress level down a notch. So … I took a dance class of course! But, in keeping with my New Year’s resolution to not spend so much money, I opted for a street Samba class at the Alvin Ailey extension, for $15, instead of another ballroom lesson, for about $10,000. Which means, I saved $9,985!!! Which means I can attend one more Met ABT performance!!!

Seriously. Street Samba: insane. INSANE. I’ve never felt so stupid in my life! We started out doing these crazy stretches, making me realize just how inflexible I really am. Then, only a half an hour into the hour-and-a-half-long class, the teacher — the other-worldly, completely beyond human, impossibly amazing, Quenia Ribeiro, began with like, advanced advanced ADVANCED hip swaying, pelvis contorting, just crazy moves. The class was supposedly for beginners!?! First step — FIRST step — was this African-based (I know this, because I’ve seen it at Broadway Dance Center‘s West African class’s student showcase) traveling move, except instead of simply opening up arms and legs as wide as possible sideways while somehow bouncing forward, she moved her pelvis back and forth in this really beautifully sexy way. I tried and tried and tried to imitate her, but couldn’t in any way, shape, or form do anything even close to her with my mid-section. Happily, I managed to figure out where my feet, at least, were supposed to go on the floor. Right at the second I was feeling like, okay, I look like an enormous ass, but at least I know where TO GO on the floor, the drummers started drumming (live band by the way, singing in Portuguese, which means they were really Brazilian — how the hell they managed not to laugh themselves silly watching us, I’ll never know…) , and Quenia started moving AT THE BEAT THEY WERE BEATING TO — basically, the speed of light. In trying like hell to keep up, I flailed about wildly, smacking this poor Asian woman next to me right in the face. She stepped on me, though, so it was okay! Seriously, the few of us in the back section were spending more time apologizing to each other than anything else.

It didn’t take me long to realize it was just not going to be happening with me. I mean, this woman just moved in ways that I didn’t know possible. Her pelvis was darting back and forth — both front to back and side to side, so fast it was just a blur. I had to grab onto the back barre just to steady myself while watching her. This was NOTHING like the ballroom style of Samba I know! Had nothing in common with it whatsoever. I mean, it was still interesting, but just wasn’t me. As a skinny white girl, I know I will never ever EVER be able to move like this woman. And the funny thing is, after I finished my rotation squirming down the floor I stood at the back barre and watched the rest of the students. And, apart from about four really good ones, who you could tell were her very serious dedicated students, no one was really dancing Samba. They were all, however, rocking out madly, and were laughing hysterically and obviously having great fun doing so — unlike me, who just couldn’t get over the fact that I couldn’t do it properly. The really fundamentally pathetic thing about me, I realized, is that, these people, though they weren’t doing Samba, still all had obviously danced a lot at clubs before and just had either a natural or developed sense of rhythm and awesome, for lack of a better term, booty-shaking skills. I, on the other hand, had none. They may not having been dancing Samba but they were most definitely DANCING; I — I looked like Gumby basically.

Well, I felt STRONGLY like giving up, but forced myself to give it the old college try — more because I knew I’d feel stupid making a scene either walking out of class or sitting down in back than anything else. The reason I managed to make it through the whole class — nearly the whole class anyway — was because I assured myself that, even though I was making a gigantic ass of myself, no one was looking at me; people were concentrating on themselves, on having themselves a blast. And this little mantra worked. Until …

alvin ailey extension school

…until I turned to look out the window, and saw, to my horror, about twenty to thirty people — men, women and children, on the outside of the building staring right back at me, bemused looks overflowing their faces. Turns out this handy little covering on Ailey’s ground-level studio windows is not really a covering — if outsiders walk up close, they can see everything going on inside. And since Samba is so much blasted fun, the music pouring out through the windows and onto the sidewalk, we attracted the attention of every passerby… And I had thought I was SMART to stay in the back of the class — ie: by the window, and not by the mirror! Idiot idiot idiot!

Anyway, I tried and tried, but to no avail. I never did get it. Just when I thought we were done, at about ten minutes until the end of the hour, and everyone was applauding the band, Quenia announced that we’d now completed the Bahia part of the class; now, it was time to learn the Rio style. Good lord, I thought; there’s more?! And funny thing, absurdist thing was, Rio was actually much closer to what I knew from ballroom! I mean, there was still a lot of upper-body arm and upper torso movement, and hips were looser and steps bigger, but I actually recognized some of the moves! I saw bota fogos, and voltas, and bachacatas — my favorite!!! I nearly peed my jazz pants! Legs were kept a little closer together than in Bahia, and Rio was, to little ballroom whitey me anyway, more familar to my body, more jazzy, more Latiny, just more me. And I swear, Quenia looked right at me when I was coming down the line, and just kind of smiled, as if to recognize that (even though there were at least 20 students in the class), she could see how much trouble I was having with Bahia (you’d have to have been blind not to); and now here I was doing something not completely ludicrously wrong! Ah! So, at least now I know that Rio-style Samba is the kind that I like, that I can actually aim towards even if, with my body type, I may not ever look completely right doing it… Throughout class, I was thinking how much I just wanted it to end, how I’d look back on this and laugh but would never ever come back, but at the very end of it, I was actually reconsidering. Maybe I will visit Quenia again, especially if she spends more than the last ten minutes on Rio!!! Anyway, my mind was very successfully taken far off of reporter guy!

First thing this morning, he called. The minute the phone rang, I reached for the paper on which I’d written out my ‘statement.’ Of course, once I started to recite it, he interrupted and started asking me some questions. And he was so nice and warm and easy to talk to (do they learn to be this way in J school??) I couldn’t help but just go along with him and speak what I thought, off the top of my head. After I hung up, I realized that, though I said what I wanted to say content-wise, when I’m relaxed and speaking freely, I tend to use lots of “likes” and “totallys” and “I means” and “ums,” and now I’m all worried, if he took down word for word what I said, I’m going to sound like ‘Valley Girl attorney’! I can just see the write-up: “‘I was like, oh my god, I totally can’t believe the trial Judge like did that, like that was soooo totally wrong,’ says Ms. Plank…” My office-mate assured me that I most definitely did not sound like that, but I’m still worried! Will have to wait and see…

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Alternate Uses For Your Kitchen Counter and Law-Book Bookcase!

kitchen stretching

So far so good with my New Year’s resolutions not to spend huge amounts of money on dance! Who needs to install your own barre with a handy-dandy home kitchen counter, and office bookcase!

work stretching

I definitely close and lock my office door when I do this (since I have to hike my skirt up!) What better use of a lunch hour 🙂

Seriously, I don’t like to stretch on the floor during the winter because it’s usually cold down there (since cold air seems to do the opposite of hot) and stretching with cold muscles, I’ve found, is a huge no no (that’s how I pulled my adductor muscle and strained my hip flexor). So, I find alternate uses for home and office equipment — easy!

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Crap Friday, Sobering Saturday…

Ugh, horrible night last night at the studio. First, the second I exited the subway and saw what I saw, I had to ask myself why, why, why do I have to go to a studio located in the Times Square area??? And, if I must go to a studio located in this madhouse, why did I not remember to cancel my two-days-before-the-ball-drops lesson???

Times Square two days before New Years Eve

Needless to say, it took me twenty minutes to get from 42nd Street all the way up to 44th, two whole blocks… Why do tourists want to visit at this time of year??? Maybe I should listen to myself and go to Rio some time other than Carnival… Hmmm..

Anyway, then the lesson. I just couldn’t understand anything Jacob was saying, and he was being really rather impatient. We practiced my kick splits in the air — where he gives me his arm and I push down and propel myself up about three feet, do the splits as quickly as I can, pointing my toes of course, then come down about 1/10th of a second later. So much harder than it seems to split, straighten legs and make the perfect line, point toes, then come down right away, and remember to do so on bent knees, bent ever so slightly — not so much so that the audience can actually TELL they’re bent, but bent enough so that you don’t kill your knees coming down on straight ones, and in HEELS… Ugh. We did it about twenty-five times. I was finally getting the hang of it, when he wanted to start on these crazy stretches, where I lean away from him as far as I can but while holding his hand. Apparently, I’m supposed to kind of give him my body weight, but kind of hold my own weight — which I don’t get AT ALL. Pasha always used to tell me, “you have to hold yourself; you’re responsible for your own weight, not me,” and sometimes he would even let go ever so quickly to see if I’d begin to fall. Of course I always would, scaring the crap out of me, and making me hold myself completely up giving the man NONE of my weight now. Now Jacob is telling me, “you’ve got to trust me and give me your weight; you’re not trusting me, and it’s not going to look right if you don’t lean completely away me so much so that you’ll fall if I let go.” What? I swear it’s the antithesis of what Pasha said, but he said it was not, and tried to explain how to both hold myself AND trust the guy and give him my full weight, but I didn’t really get it. I guess as time goes on, I will. Hopefully.

And then apparently I am doing too many ballet-like things because he kept telling me, “no releve, this isn’t ballet,” “no ballet hands,” ” no ballet develope; in ballroom we bend the standing leg,” no ballet this, and no ballet that, and so on. Funny thing is, it’s not like I’m a former ballet dancer. I only have childhood lessons taken long long ago, and as an adult, I’m only in basic ballet classes. So, I couldn’t understand most of the terms he was saying, and therefore couldn’t really understand what exactly I was doing that was too ballet. I mean, I go to bizillions of ballet performances, obviously, but can that really rub off in terms of your own dancing? I want to push myself as far as I possibly can, and learn as much as I can as quickly as I am able to, but I just wish so much I had more background so that I would know terms and different dance techniques and be able to differentiate between different styles of dance…

Then, bright and early this morning (sorry, this is total whiner blog today…), my mom called telling me my dad was all upset because apparently he watched the DVD of my most recent studio showcase that I sent him as a Christmas present and couldn’t find either of my routines on it. “Are they on your copy?” she asked. And, if so, can you point to him exactly where? Blech! Of course, I hadn’t yet watched the copy of the tape I kept for myself, because I just hadn’t yet worked up the courage to do so (there’s nothing I HATE more than watching myself dance!). I told her to hold on, popped the blasted thing into the machine, confirmed they were both there while nearly throwing up in digust over my hideous lines, total lack of rhythm, missed steps, horrible gorilla arms, enormous, elephantine hands, etc. etc. etc. I nearly forgot she was still on the damn line. When she later called me back after reporting back to my dad, I found that he actually saw the whole tape and just didn’t recognize me. Lovely feeling when your own parent doesn’t recognize you!!!!!

Anyway, in an attempt to overcome my self-disgust, I marched straight out to my local bakery, and got this perfect early morning meal — chocolate fudge cake and Hazelnut coffee with about four scoops of sugar; a.k.a. the breakfast of pigs:

chocolate cake for stress attack breakfast

And, as soon as the liquor store opened,

Spent the afternoon by turns in front of the TV hysterically watching my hideous performances, then in front of the mirror, trying to do the lines Jacob was trying to teach me. Ugh. It just wasn’t going anywhere. Finally decided to just give it a break, and plopped down in front of the computer to read blogs. Serendipitously found these lovely little words of wisdom from Matt — thanks Matt!

When I got bored of blogs, I decided to go visit my local Barnes & Noble, to use the gift card my mom sent me as part of her Christmas present. Came away with these wonderful finds:

Pynchon, Powell, and Dance Mag

Thomas Pynchon‘s new book “Against the Day” is so damn huge (nearly 1100 pages), I don’t even think it’s going to fit in my dance bag (with all the other stuff I have to put in there, I mean), which means I’m gonna have a hard time carting it to and from work on the subway… Well, maybe it’s a better read for home anyway; looks pretty dense. I’m very excited though! This is a first edition by a future Nobel Prize winner after all 🙂 It’s a real investment — both in terms of the material my brain will absorb, and the item itself; am kind of surprised more people aren’t buying them all up…
Also, upon noticing it in the new paperbacks section, I couldn’t help picking up Julie Powell’s chick lit book that evolved from her blog (this is the woman I’d met a couple of weeks ago at the “Bloggers into Authors” panel discussion held by Media Bistro). And, couldn’t resist Dance Magazine which advertised on its cover this article inside entitled “Talking Back to the Ballet Bashers” presumably on the recent Lewis Segal criticism everyone was talking about for a while, which I couldn’t miss…

And then, came home and am blogging while watching

Ford funeral on TV

the Gerald Ford funeral. So sad; I feel so badly for his wife… And then, the Hussein execution is of course all over the news. And I have such conflicted feelings. I just don’t think anyone should be put to death for anything…

So, a sobering but less stressful end to a crazy, self-absorbed day… I do think I’m going to leave dance alone for the rest of the weekend. I’ll go back to hystericizing after the holiday! I need a break :/

Happy New Year everyone!

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Woo Hoo!

winning decision Yay, just got a belated Christmas present yesterday in the form of an appellate decision. I won a case! I know it’s probably odd to hear a lawyer all excited about a win, but at the appellate level, criminal attorneys so rarely do. There’s currently a one-percent reversal rate in the First Department (that’s Manhattan and the Bronx), and a big whopping two-percent reversal rate in the Second (Brooklyn, Queens, and Staten Island). So, on average, NYC appellate PDs basically have a one-and-a-half percent chance of prevailing for their clients. Which can be hard if you’re like me and feel a lot for your clients. Anyway, I managed to convince the Court that my guy was unfairly bullied into waiving his right to a trial by jury (and, instead, letting the judge alone determine his guilt). The People will probably appeal to the highest court in NY — the Court of Appeals. So I’ll have to be ready to respond and defend if they do. Anyway, it was exciting.

I think perhaps now I deserve a … trip to D.C. … ha ha!

Also, regarding belated Christmas gifts: how beautiful is this?!

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American Ballet Theater Fan Gonna Be Out On The Streets Soon…

ABT subscription brochure

Okay, as Chimene pointed out in her comment on my last post, I am ever so slightly conflicted over my dance versus spending goals for the next year… Harrumph.

Anyway, these three villains are responsible for the, as of today, $400 hole in my wallet:

Jose Manuel Carreno

Marcelo Gomes

David Hallberg

Also known as:

Hallberg in underwear

Sorry, I don’t know why I can’t resist …

Oh, and I forgot her:

Alessandra Ferri
She (Alessandra Ferri — my favorite ballerina in the world) is, horrifically, retiring from ABT this year, and of course I had to get an (expensive) ticket to her final performance, in front orchestra balance near the curtain just so I can get trampeled during the hours-long curtain call by anxious fans wanting up close pictures… Actually, I had to get the same expensive tickets to the other four perfs that constitute my subscription series because of my deep-seeded need to see the aforesaid villains up close. Because I’m weird.

All of the above headshots, by the way, are images I linked to from the ABT website, and are copyright of ABT of course.

Anyway, in making my purchase I realized that I am actually not going to miss the Met’s Othello; I will leave for Blackpool the very day following Julie and Marcelo’s premier of it. Meaning, I don’t actually have to go down to Washington D.C. in January to catch it. Of course, that means I have to wait four months until May, when it comes to the Met. Four months is a long time. And I do have a good friend in D.C. who will be leaving for the foreign service in February. And I have a cousin who just moved to Arlington. Hmmm. I believe I may have to go to D.C. in January after all … for reasons other than the fact that I am an obsessed, deranged ABT groupie, of course… Well, I still have five days until my New Year’s resolutions to not spend so much money on dance officially begin. We’ll see… It’s HARD being a balletomane 🙁

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Dance Goals For 2007

La Duca shoes

Thanks to Natalia for forcing me to come up with these, because one must always have goals, and putting them down on paper (or blog) makes you organized and keeps you focused. I’ve divided mine into three basic categories:

1) CUT BACK ON EXPENSES.

Unfortunately, I think my biggest goal, at least regarding my greatest dance love — ballroom — is going to have to be to cut back. Looking over my expenses the past year, I’m a bit overwhelmed (okay a lot overwhelmed) at how much this wonderful hobby has cost me. I had wanted to go to Brazil this February for Carnival, and it looks like that’s not going to happen, I’d wanted to do some more travel even to places as close as Washington D.C. (do-able, but not without fret about cost), and even looking into possibly adopting another pet since my dear Najma passed away last year freaked me out a bit expense-wise. I simply have nothing left over in my leisure spending allotment after all of my ballroom. My parents, embarrasingly, have even had to help me pay for showcase, costume, and private coaching costs a bit here and there. Plus, my studio has just increased their prices $10 per private. So, with each private costing $95, each coaching $150 on top of that (for both teacher and coach), costumes running a minimum (and I mean very very minimum) of $500, and I don’t even want to say what the showcases cost, you get some clue as to the thousands. Not a happy bank account have I.

So, I’ve decided that, since of course giving it up is completely, ridiculously out of the question, I must force myself to take only one private lesson per week, and do either one showcase or one competition per year (ONE is the key number, in other words). Perhaps I can take one or two group lessons per week, but I’ve really got to watch that expense as well.

2) RELAX, LET LOOSE, AND HAVE FUN.

Second, and related to my first goal, I attended several Alvin Ailey performances this season and was really just mesmerized by what I saw. Watching the dancers closely, I realized Ailey must have had an extremely wide dance background including not only ballet, modern, and jazz, but African and Latin as well, because the way his dancers move incorporates all of those. And, I specifically saw some Samba, both in Revelations and other dances, and not only in the hip and pelvic movements generally, I mean I also saw some of the exact same steps I have learned in ballroom. And I felt like these dancers moved so amazingly. Jazz dancing is “bigger” than Latin ballroom, in that you take far larger steps and really work on moving your body without restraint; with ballroom, you must take very small steps and keep arm and upper body movement very small and controlled so as not to whack your partner or others on the crowded dance floor. And, because of this forced constraint, I found the Ailey dancers so much more interesting than ballroomers. Often at the ballroom competitions, there’s so much smallness of movement in Samba that I can’t even really see the dancers moving their hips and contracting and expanding their pelvises; it looks almost the exact same as a traveling form of Cha Cha to me.

Teachers at my old school used to tell me that studying any dance outside of ballroom besides ballet may well hurt my ballroom, mainly because of the uncontrolled movement. But these Ailey dancers just moved in such brilliant ways; really made me want to learn what they do. Plus, it looks so damn fun! So, I have decided that I will start taking some jazz, street samba (the Ailey School teaches it!), and African, in addition to my ballroom, at schools that offer group classes in those areas like Steps, Broadway Dance Center, and the Ailey school. If it hurts my ballroom technique, so be it. I love the way these modern dancers move and I’m not ever going to be a professional dancer, so it might as well be fun for me!

3) WRITE WRITE WRITE.

Third, I’ve realized through some recent discussions with friends and work and writing associates that a lot of people really don’t understand two basic things: 1) how frigging hard it is to become a great dancer — good enough, that is, that people will actually spend money to come see you perform; and 2) fun as it may be for most of us, dancing is actually a profession for others, and those others deserve to be taken seriously, just like doctors and lawyers and other professionals, and should be compensated appropriately. I came upon these realizations when some of the aforementioned friends and associates expressed difficulty understanding how I, with two whole years of part-time dance experience, could possibly need MORE practice (don’t I know everything already???), and that I actually had to pay for my teachers’ services — particulary at competitions and showcase events — as if my showcases and competitions were supposed to be so much fun for THEM that they were willing to forego an entire day’s worth of teaching wages to spend the day dancing with me, as if they don’t have rent to pay like the rest of us… Anyway, these discussions really enraged me, and one of my goals, as a fledgling writer, is to create more respect for professional dancers through not only this blog, but hopefully with magazine and newspaper writing that I will actually be compensated for, please please!

I also intend to attend as many ballroom competitions as I can — already have my tickets for Blackpool in May, of course of course! — and will most definitely blog about them, and take as many photos as I can, which I will put on the photo page here. I may take a course in digital photography, through the School of Visual Arts perhaps — to learn how to make better use of my camera.

And, finally, I intend to write my next novel this year, and to have it finished by the end of the year! It will deal, in some way, with dance, which is what that goal is doing in this blog entry, though I’m not sure how much of it will be devoted to dance, since, of course, plot and theme change a bit as you’re going about the writing process. But definitely definitely there will be dance in the novel 🙂 My last one took me one year, at least to get the first draft down, and I’ve already started this one (okay, I just have about the first 500 words!), so I am giving myself until, at the very very VERY latest, the end of the year. And, if I’m not finished and don’t have it out to my agent by this very day next year, please someone shoot me!!!!!

And of course, ballet, my lifelong love: I’ll be going to every performance I have the time and money for, am just sending off my ABT subscription renewal to their Met season now 🙂 🙂 🙂 and will likely run down to D.C. for a couple of Othello’s this January (since I’ll likely miss that ballet during their Met season, when I’ll be in England). And of course, I’ll obsessively be reading The Winger…

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Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Everyone!

Christmas card from client

This is a Christmas card I received from one of my clients in prison. He obviously spent a good portion of his inmate funds on this, and I found it so sweet when I received it Friday, I burst into tears. Anyway, I will share it with you all, to wish everyone a wonderful holiday. I have to say, Christmas sometimes really depresses me. I start thinking of everyone who is alone — my clients in prison, the homeless, the elderly, the mentally ill who have no one, orphans, etc. etc. etc. It’s just heart-breaking. Since I’m spending the holiday alone myself (though not ALONE alone; I expect to be receiving umpteenth phone calls from relatives 🙂 ), I contacted a local volunteer organization that sends people to soup kitchens and shelters, but they told me that, ironically, Christmas-time is just about the only time they are NOT lacking in help — just about any other time of the year they’d love me. I made a mental note to try to volunteer at some other point, if and when I’m ever not dancing or working!

Anyway, trying to keep sadness at bay and keep an upbeat attitude… this weekend I had another dance / theater marathon. Yesterday, I went to my last Alvin Ailey performance of the season, sadly. I saw some brilliant dancing and choreography, of course! The matinee’s ballets included The River, a gorgeously dreamy ballet choreographed by Ailey himself to Duke Ellington music, with all dancers dressed in light blue, which kind of reminded me of Clear or Drink to Me Only With Thine Eyes — beauty for beauty’s sake. And, I saw Pas De Duke for the first time, which was originally choreographed for Judith Jamison and Baryshnikov. I liked, but didn’t love it. Ailey called it a modern pas de deux (dance for two people), but there was hardly any partnering; it was mostly side by sides, with the dancers interacting a lot with each other emotionally, but not physically. I loved Dwana Adiaha Smallwood (probably the most famous current dancer in the company) in the female role — she was a badass! I can only imagine how Jamison must have performed the part! Then, Solo, by Hans van Manen, was next, a beautiful piece designed, despite its title, for three men, alternating between a pas de trois and each man dancing alone onstage. And the last was Love Stories, a very fun ballet choreographed in honor of Ailey by Jamison, Robert Battle and hip hop choreorapher Rennie Harris. It alternated between hip hop, disco-y jazz, and ballet, and had some absolutely spectacular lifts — man carrying woman over his head while circling the stage multiple times — and jumps — twice a woman jumped up on the chest of a man arching his back — crazy!

ailey dancers taking bow

I sat in the orchestra pit for this one! I don’t know why these seats are so cheap ($25) — they’re so close to the stage, you feel like you’re practically one with the dancers (a feeling that of course I savor!), and, unlike at the Met when you’re so near to the stage, at City Center you can still see the dances’ feet perfectly. Afterward, they held another post-performance panel discussion with some of the dancers, like last time.

ailey dancers at post discussion

This time we had two Frenchmen, Malik Le Nost and Willy Laury (in the glasses — one of my favorites, whom I always seem to see in the Sinner Man part of Revelations which is odd because they always say they alternate between all the roles; I recognize him partly by this cool tattoo that he has on his hip snaking down to his groin area, which is always peeking out from the top of his cinnamon red Sinner man pants 🙂 ), and I think the woman was Khilea Douglass (she was sitting on the far side from me, so I didn’t hear her name clearly or see her face). I really enjoy these discussions — I appreciate hearing the dancers talk about the work from their perspective.

Today, I went to see Spring Awakening, the new big thing on Broadway.

spring awakening

There were a lot of people out in NY for it being Christmas Eve day…! This Rent-like musical was recommended to me by my friend, Mark, who knew I liked Bill T. Jones, the show’s choreographer (hi Mark!) and I also saw a fellow Winger post about it on her website. I liked it, but I have to say it didn’t move me hugely on my first viewing. It’s something I may have to see again (when it comes down a bit in price!), but I did like the music, the singing was great, and the staging (which I assume was what Jones was responsible for, since there really wasn’t any dancing) was a lot of fun. I guess what I didn’t like was the basic story — it’s based on a German play from the 1890s — and wasn’t something I haven’t heard a zillion times before, so it definitely told me nothing new. And, it seemed a bit melodramatic and I couldn’t understand the motivations of some of the characters. I also wanted some real dancers for Jones to work with! Maybe I’ve just seen so much dance lately I expect everyone to go soaring through the air like an ABT or Alvin Ailey member. I’ve got so used to seeing abstract expressions of thought revealed through the sublime vehice of a near miraculous human body that I just didn’t want to hear any dialog! — which is VERY odd for me since I used to be so into dramas. But I guess I’ve never been a huge fan of musicals in the first place — the only one I think I’ve ever liked is the Cabaret of the Mendes / Cumming variety. But, everyone seems to love this musical, so I’m sure that whatever I didn’t see in it on first viewing is just me 🙂

Christmas dinner for the single girl!

So, this will be my single-girl-in-the-city Christmas dinner for tomorrow: an artisanal chicken pot pie made by Just Rugelach and bought at my local Sunday farmers’ market, fresh spinach with Olde Cape Cod honey mustard viniagarette currently on sale at my local Food Emporium, and Barefoot Sauvingon Blanc from Nancy’s Wines, preceded by my favorite appetizer of Greek taramosalata (red caviar mixed with pureed potatoes and other lovely ingredients) on Russian black bread, and for dessert, thick delicious (and immensely fatty) Southern Comfort Egg Nog, and some Haddington Farms chocolate-covered peanut caramel clusters sent by Mom 🙂 Yum!

Christmas reading

And, finally, here’s some of my Christmas reading! Two novels I’ve been hoping for time to sink my gums into — Home Land by Sam Lipsyte, which is a dark comedy in the style of Augusten Burroughs and consists of letters an alum writes to his alma mater on the eve of his high school reunion basically telling them how life DIDN’T pan out so hunky dory (just my type of thing 🙂 ), and the other, The Feast of Love by Charles Baxter, was recommended by Nick Hornby to his fans a long time ago, which I never got around to buying, but some nice person in my apartment building left this copy for me on top of the recycle bin! And these two lovely works of fiction sit here atop my stacks of trial transcripts for the next case I’ll be working on. I promised friends and family I WOULDN’T do any work work, but if I get antsy enough….

Anyway, happy holidays everyone!