Tag: dance injuries

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Small Presses, Small Celebrities, and Smaller (But Prettier) Lifts

We changed my ending lift, we changed it, we changed it!!! So excited because Luis gave me a far easier, and I think actually prettier, lift to do at the end of our routine. When I say easier, I mean, HE does all the work 🙂 Now, instead of doing the crazy waltzy one with my butt sticking straight out over his head and at the audience (here’s a pic), he holds me up, my face to the ceiling instead of down at the floor, and I arch my back over him, balancing the small of my back on his shoulder. Then, if I can do it, I’ll flip my body over and end up in a bird position on his other shoulder (balancing on his shoulder now with my stomach, and arching my back and legs up behind me). We did the first part of it and I did fine; we didn’t try the second part yet, I just watched him illustrate with one of the many ballet dancers in my studio. It’s really pretty, and I hope I can do it. I so wish I had a lifetime of ballet.. But if I can’t, the first part even alone is much nicer than the other lift. So nervous though — less than a month now…

Anyway, I had a great, and busy, weekend. Friday night I saw Marcelo! on the subway 🙂 It’s funny because usually I’m not even looking up at people, because: 1) I’m shy; and 2) on the subway I’m usually hysterically reading a response brief, or some other such work I’m hopelessly behind on. But when he got on the 1 train, there was only one other person on the car with me, and I’m always a little nervous when I’m nearly alone and a man boards — well, maybe not always, but I’m working on this nasty rape case so maybe it’s a little worse now… (ha ha, as if HE, with his s.o. would ever, …. harumph, in my dreams… I know, horrible bad sentiment, SHAME…) Anyway, when he boarded, he got on at one end of the car and walked to my end, obviously so he could exit near the subway exit, but it was initially a little weird. And of course when I saw his face, I had to do a double, then triple take. It’s funny how you can’t see a person’s face unless you look into their eyes — the face is obviously much more than just eyes, but the eyes are the person… So, there I was sitting there staring, which he noticed (me being the only other person in the car), and yet did not seem frightened enough by the crazy girl to stop in his tracks and turn around and go back. So, he stood right in front of me, waiting impatiently for the train to stop so he could get out. Is he always so impatient, I wonder? Well, HE’S SO CUTE! And small!! — or at least smaller than he looks onstage… I had to remind myself he’s not basketball-player tall, just tall for a dancer — but still. And I remembered it was the same with Slavik in Florida. Him, I’ve only seen on the screen, and he’s always looked so tall and regal, either when dancing with Karina in the World Champions Show I have on tape, or in Shall We Dance, where he plays JLo’s knight in shining armor at the end sweeping her off to Blackpool where he will lead her to victory… In real life, he was a kid, not so tall and with imperfect skin and a tattoo. Weird. But so great to have seen two of my favorites — from the worlds of Ballet and Ballroom respectively — in person in just the last week 🙂

On Saturday, Kathy and I went to the Brooklyn Book Festival in Brooklyn Heights. They had several panels and readings, mostly by Brooklyn authors (of which there are many, probably more than in any other borough), but what I got the most from was walking around to the bizillions of tables of small presses who are publishing these great authors. I had no idea Tin House, the literary mag, now has a press and is publishing books! As is Open City. I bought a Tin House book by an author named Karen Lee Boren, which was recommended by a writer I like (and fellow Brown alum:)), Sam Lipsyte, and bought a couple of books at an indie Brooklyn bookstore with a booth, Book Court, one an AMAZING collection of short stories, The First Hurt, by Rachel Sherman (also recommended by Lipsyte) which I began reading yesterday and cannot put down, as well as Edmund White’s A Boy’s Own Story, which I have always wanted to read. Poets and Writers mag was giving out free copies of their latest issue, and I realized I’m a complete ass for not having subscribed to it before, it has so much valuable info. And, speaking of Marcelo!, I bought from this international press called Host Books a collection of three contemporary Brazilian plays that are written both in English and Portuguese. So, when I begin my Portuguese classes (in preparation for Brazil Carnival trip!) maybe it will come in handy…

Yesterday, I walked outside my apartment only to see a street fair (!), which of course I had to raid and spend way too much money at… And I finally got around to walking down to Lee’s Art Shop to get framed a print I bought in Martha’s Vineyard three weeks ago now. Why do frames always cost like four times the price of the artwork inside them???? Then, I spent many many hours doing a re-write of the beginning pages of my novel for a possible reading of it — had to whittle them down to their bare essentials to make them the right reading-length, and now I’m thinking they’re so much better. Sometimes I think you need to do that: wait a long time, like many months, before going back over what you have, when you have a clearer, fresher perspective on it.

And, I had to get up early today for an appointment with my orthopedist before work. This time, it’s the left knee. More meniscus problems. Ugh. Have to go for yet more physical therapy. Does it ever end???

Anyway, I’m tired…

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Slavik! Sergey! Andrei and Elena, and Pasha and Anna!!!

I don’t have much time to write because I returned from Florida (Nationals) to a desk overflowing with work, but I had an awesome time! Here are my pictures. I am such a nervous flier (still, since 9/11, although I AM getting better slowly but surely!!), so immediately after checking into the swanky hotel, I crashed on a plush sofa in the bar and had a very large glass of wine. Ended up being a great place to people watch, because I had a perfect view of the check-in counter. From which I spotted Slavik Kryklyvyy!!! My favorite male Latin dancer, and Karina Smirnoff’s former partner (they just broke up, so sadlly, last year). I was so happy because he was supposed to compete with his new partner, his wife Elena, at Blackpool this year, but he didn’t feel ready yet, so dropped out. He is no longer competing for the U.S. and so did not compete in the national competition here, but he and Elena competed in the Open to the World category, which they won, of course of course!! Also competing in that category, unexpectedly, was Sergey Surkov and Agnieszka Melnicka from Poland, whom I saw dance for the first time in Blackpool and fell in love with! So, two of my favorite world male Latin dancers danced! Sergey and Agnieszka took second in the worlds. And, last but not least, I was so so so happy to finally see my teacher Pavel Kovalev (Pasha) and his partner Anna Garnis compete. They couldn’t compete in Blackpool or the local Manhattan DanceSport competition this year because her Russian passport and work papers were stolen and she had to return to Russia to get things back in place. Now they are back to competing and are a force to be reckoned with 🙂 I have many pictures of them in the photo album, of course.

Nothing really unexpected happened: Andrei Gavriline and Elena Kruyschkova took first in National Latin, Jonathan Wilkins and Katusha Demidova placed first in Standard, Tony Dovolani and Elena Grinenko came in first in Rhythm, and Ben and Shalene Archer-Ermis topped Smooth. The biggest upset was Emmanuel Pierre-Antoine and Joanna Zacharewicz placing second in the National Mambo championships, losing their title to a new couple from New Jersey (I forgot their names, but have a picture posted of them in the album). Pasha and Anna placed fifth in the Nationals, which I thought was way too low for them; they should have been closer to third. But of course I am biased 🙂 My other teacher, Luis Grijalva and his partner Anya Fuchs placed third in National Mambo, after Emmanuel and Joanna, which was good for them since they’re still a relatively new partnership. Maxim Kozhevnikov and Yulia Zagoryuchenko, another favorite couple of mine, placed second in National Latin but ahead of Andrei and Elena in the Open to the World category (making them, interestingly, higher ranked world-wide than the national champions). And Max and Yulia, expectedly, won the South American showdance exhibition with their famous Samba routine — which is the biggest reason I like them so 🙂

I had a fun though not unstressful time overall. The dancing was of course amazing to watch, and I re-connected with a couple of friends I hadn’t seen since Blackpool in May, and some old friends from my former studio. The stressfulness resulted mainly from my un-wise decision to cut costs (the hotel was well over $200 per night, and that was with our dance discount) by rooming with four people. I grew up an only child in a spacious suburban Phoenix house and I am still a bit of a loner — meaning, I like to be around people for some of the time, but I definitely need some quality down-time alone. And, the dance crowd, which took over the common areas of the hotel and the beach and pool area, was pretty raucous, so I felt kind of like I was going to have a nervous breakdown toward the end. To escape the madness, I took a little half-day excursion out to the Everglades National Park, where I took an airboat ride through the most beautiful “swamp” I’ve ever seen, and got to meet some very friendly aligators! I also spent some good, quality time swimming in the ocean, which was very warm and clear; got the best workout I’ve had since my last ballet class months ago now, and realized I’m going to have to find a gym or recreation center with a pool in NYC because I really do love the water and swimming is such good cross-training for dancers with continuing tendon and ligament problems.

I flew back to NY the day before 9/11 when everyone in the airport would have to be talking about “something happening” — I felt like screaming, “can everyone please shut up and not talk about this here for crying out loud”; and this was my first time flying since the liquid scare, but once I was in the air everything was fine and Jet Blue was pleasant. I really do want to overcome my flying fears completely. I guess the way to do that is to fly a lot… And dancing provides a great excuse to fly! I can’t wait for my next dance event –the Ohio Star Ball in November maybe? It’s mostly pro/am and I don’t think they’re televising America’s Ballroom Challenge there this year, like they did last, so I’m still not sure whether I’m going to go to that, but knowing me, I will… And, when I got home, my Blackpool tickets were in the mail slot 🙂

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Hauling My Saggy Ballet-Withdrawn Butt Off to Nationals…

… and more beach, given that the comp is in south Florida and hotel it’s in right on the beach. Except this time I’m not gonna be sharing a beach with a bunch of rich, older, fellow-saggy-rear-ended people as on Martha’s V., but with a plethora of real dancers. With perfect bodies. Oh well. And I have to wear my bikini so my mid-rif will tan, since Luis is making me wear low-cut fringe-y pants and a very short top for the showcase… But, despite my stupid body image issues, I am VERY excited for two reasons: first, because this is my first time at this one and it’s the largest Dancesport comp in the country, and second because Anna Garnis, my teacher Pasha’s partner, finally got all of her Russian documents in order (her Russian passport and U.S. papers had been stolen in the studio) and, having missed Blackpool and the Manhattan Dancesport comps (since she first couldn’t travel out of the country for the former, then was in Russia getting stuff taken care of for the latter), they are FINALLY going to be able to compete again 🙂 So, many many pics of them to come!

I had to go into my office today because I’d stupidly left a copy of my ticket order to the comp in my desk, which I hated to do because I knew no one was going to be working today and I absolutely detest being in large office buildings all alone. I’m always scared I’m going to get raped. It happened to an older friend of mine, albeit in the 70s when NY was much less safe, and security has been pretty decent since 9/11 but still … it creeps me out being in big buildings alone (plus, maybe has something do with the fact that I’m working on a disturbing sex assault case now…). Anyway, I’m very glad I went in because my Winger yoga t-shirt apparently came in on Friday after I’d left. Which is cool because now I can promote the Winger to my ballroom friends and family 🙂 It fits pretty good — normally I don’t like tight-fitting things, but I think it looks okay. Luis will definitely like it because he’s always telling me I need to be less shy and show my body more. Given that being more comfortable with my body is one reason I started Latin (others being learning about partnership and about Latin culture of course), I guess the form-fitting-ness is a good thing 🙂 Anyway, here’s a pic of little miss Modest Mouse in boob-enhancing Winger tee (and click on previous two for back of shirt, and for way fun packaging it came in! — I know, I’m a dork…)

Speaking of modest mouse-iness, my friend and I went to the New York Burlesque Festival at the Supper Club on Saturday night. It was very interesting. My friend LOVED it and is currently thinking up burlesque names for herself (and me). She has battled a weight problem all her life and I think it was a very positive experience for her to see so many different-sized women flaunting their bodies without a care to traditional male-defined standards of female beauty. As for me, it was fun because it was an alternative, gay and lesbian environment. If it wasn’t, I definitely would have been very uncomfortable. I have zero tolerance for frat boys and the stupid women who date them. And zero tolerance for men who can’t take their small minds off of boobs for five seconds… Anyway, some of the women were amazing dancers — there was this one troupe of about six women who did rather amazing lifts with each other. Delirium Tremens did a routine on pointe, and Harvest Moon did some amazing tricks while balancing a full glass of champage on various parts of her body. And there were two men — one who stripped down all the way, which was fun, and another dressed as a cowboy who turned his back the the audience, ripped his pants off, then pretended to get an erection (or maybe it was real, what do I know?!!) and turned around to balance the cowboy hat over it. Very fun night, and I’m glad Kristin Sloan posted a bit about it on the Winger!

I had my last lesson with Luis before missing two weeks (first for comp, second for his vaca), and it was quite frightening. We tried the overhead lift he wants to do at the end of the showcase routine but I’m supposed to support my weight with my arms pushing down on his shoulders, which is very very hard for me since I have ligament damage in my left wrist. I can’t even do normal push-ups with my left wrist; have to make a fist and balance my weight on my knuckles. So I don’t think I’m gonna be able to do the lift he wants. He said as an alternative that we could do one where I grab both of my ankles, but that’s going to require straddle splits, which are hard given my overstretched adductor muscle. A third possibility was doing a cartwheel over his head and landing on his back in a Sylvia-esque position, but that involves the same wrist activity as the first since I have to propel myself up and over with my wrists using his knee as a kind of vault. Ugh. He said those are the only three that will really work with what he wants to do (spin me around and around for several beats); the other ballet-y ones I liked are not geared toward the kind of crazy-ass Latin routine I’ve got myself into apparently. So, I’m supposed to decide whether I want to risk further injury to my wrist, possibly requiring surgery, or tearing my adductor?! Injuries are such a royal pain in the ass!!!!!

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Saggy Butt is the First Symptom of Serious Ballet Withdraw

And I have it big time. I’d tried on my bikini for my Martha’s Vineyard trip in my home mirror, but only viewed myself from the front; didn’t look at my lovely derriere until I got out there. Yikes. Alyssa told me to shut up and wear it to the beach anyway, as she was wearing hers and was suffering from the same problem, except hers was induced by withdraw from 20+ mile marathon-running, power yogalates, gymnastics and hiking all over such places as Bolivia and Egypt. Alyssa is the consummate amateur athlete, making my dainty ballroom dancing look like cheesecake in comparison. Still, we both have injuries and actually reconnected after not seeing each other for many months then serendipitously meeting at a physical therapy center in SoHo. Except, being the far more serious athlete, her injury was a lot more severe: she tore her hamstring in eight different places whilst doing the splits drunk at her birthday party. But good thing that came out of it was hooking up with the ER doctor… I LOVE Alyssa; thanks to her I have an inkling of what it’s like to be a Sex and the City character 🙂 And I love her for gamely trekking out there with me mainly to see Marcelo Gomes‘s first ballet (and David Hallberg perform it) in Stiefel and Stars, even though she’s not a big ballet fan. Thanks for keeping me company and being adventurous, Alyssa 🙂

The ballet, “Loving,” was beautiful! So sweet and romantic. Someone likened it to Robbins’s “Other Dances” to which I guess it was similar, but with several couples. And, not to be silly, but something about it kind of reminded me of the courting scenes in Martins’s French pastoral “Songs of the Auvergne”- maybe just because the students danced the corps parts. It was urbane, but there was something sweetly innocent and very slightly bucolic. David and Gillian were lovely as the leads — David is always so charming in his dancing. It’s funny reading him on The Winger, where he is just a guy — smart, thoughtful, sophisticated for his age, and somewhat bookish, but just a guy with a guy view of the world, not this princely dancer seemingly from another time. And the costumes, which, according to David, Marcelo designed, were gorgeous! The women and girls wore light summery dresses with haltery tops and flowing, knee-length skirts; Gillian’s top was white — a different color from the rest, and it looked perfect on her. I definitely think he has a future as a choreographer (not to mention fashion designer…)

Alyssa fell completely in love with Ethan, who did nothing more than introduce the school and the program, and apologize for not being able to dance, as he just underwent surgery on both of his knees. Women always fall for that man! I just find it funny that he didn’t even dance and Alyssa, being a normal female, still went for him. I guess it shows that so much of being a performer is personality. I like my favorites for the same reason; I probably just don’t get the appeal of Ethan because he’s straight! (Seriously, my gaydar sucks. Or maybe it’s that I have excellent reverse-gaydar. I met James McGreevey briefly while doing a judicial clerkship in New Jersey and crushed on him so badly; I’m attracted to them before they even know they’re gay…)

Anyway, besides the ballet, we went to the beach, did a lot of touristy things like visit the red cliffs at Gay Head Bluffs and the gingerbread houses in Oak Bluffs, consumed loads of good wine and seafood (me: Pinot Noir — liked it even before Sideways, I swear!, steamed scallops in a bun, wasabi-coated soft-shell crab, and cornbread-crusted cod; Alyssa: Bordeaux and lobster, lobster, and more lobster!), went to several art galleries (Alyssa’s an art history grad student), ate ice cream at Mad Martha’s in Oak Bluffs which our tour guide said is a favorite of Bill and Hillary, and did A LOT of shopping (I bought: a shiny fuscia purse; a tiny ruffly white top to go with this pink and white Betsey Johnson skirt I’ve long been trying to match; two books — one by Styron who once lived on MV about his depression, and one on being an artist by Anna Deveare Smith — at a bookstore owned by this fun, interesting woman who writes about ghost stories and gossip on Oak Bluffs and who’ll be writing a piece on the ballet in the upcoming Martha’s Vineyard Gazette which I will definitely keep my eyes open for; and two photographs, a sketch, and a print at two different galleries. Alyssa bought some wampun jewelry — made from the purplish coloring found inside the shells of clams native to the area, a sweater, an aromatic tea set for her godmother, and three books — one on African art, which is her area of specialization, and two by the writer / bookstore owner.) Here are some pictures of the trip.

Now we are back in NYC and I’m very nervous about all the work I have to do (basically research and write two briefs) before I head down to Florida for the US DanceSport nationals a week from tomorrow. We got back later last night than expected and I was very tired for my lesson tonight with Luis. He could tell, so instead of practicing lifts that could be dangerous when half asleep, he spent a lot of time talking over the choreography and brainstorming about my costume (I wanted a cute ruffly skirt and peasant top; he was thinking more hot pants with red fringe and basically no top — he’s got another thing coming; I don’t do skimpy tops ever but especially not with upside-down lifts…), and hair (he wants me to get extensions for fullness and for me to wear my hair in curlers all night the night before and all day the day of the performance (which is going to go over really well at work, especially if I get any surprise visits from clients’ families…). Ugh. AND, he decided to make some changes to the choreography — after listening to the music again, he felt one of the lifts should go in another spot than where it was. Which sent me into a frenzy. Apparently, he still does not realize that I’M A TOTAL AMATEUR and making any changes to the choreography a mere six weeks before the performance is nothing short of hysteria inducing. I’ve noticed that when I’m not dancing regularly, I get really nervous about my private lessons. It takes me forever to learn choreography, I’m scared of new things (like overhead lifts and dips where I have to support my own weight), and I just can’t move well (he tried to teach me how to shake my knees so fast that my whole body vibrates, and I could not for the life of me do it — it involves simply bending and straightening your knees, albeit at lightening speed…). Well, my hips and left knee are still a bit achy (from the tendonitis and slight meniscus tear, respectively) and my adductor muscle is still sore, but if I’m going to be donning tight ass pants and not have a nervous breakdown over minor changes in my routine, I’m definitely gonna need to go back to Steps…

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Total Frigging Joke!

Okay, I’ve decided to give up for the moment trying to figure out how to post pictures on Word Press — way too much for me to handle right now being sick with flu / migraine / eye infection / sinus infection / laryngitis / dehydration-verging-on-heat-stroke. So, I am just going to link to the photo page of the picture I wish to show as such. That’s what I will be looking like for the next week. Ugh. Red puffy make-up-less eyes covered by a massive, thick shield of glass. I hate hate HATE glasses! After waking yesterday morning completely unable to swallow, hear, breathe or see out of one eye, I called my doctor only to find I was unable to speak as well. Apparently my flu infected not only my sinuses and eye but my vocal cords as well. Of course my doctor would have to be on vacation, leaving me to call first her answering service to find out who her emergency doctor on call was, then call that doctor and explain to his curt receptionist who I was, what I needed, and get out of her detailed instructions on where they were located. I really don’t know how she understood a word of my squeaking. After the trying phone conversation I drank a bowl of steaming (perfect in this heat wave) chicken broth, and coughed up a bit of blood. I know, tasty… sorry.

Anyway, I managed to make it up and down two sets of subway stairs, walk the length of two subway platforms, and then lumber five blocks out in the blinding sun wearing my depth-distorting glasses with no shades. Ended up with a horrible migraine. Doctor confirmed I do indeed have an eye infection and cannot wear the contacts for at least a week. Did not have strep or mono (as I honestly was beginning to fear), but likely had a sinus infection, and of course laryngitis. He gave me prescriptions for two different antibiotics, one of which my local Duane Reade did not have in stock and so referred me to another store but not until after I’d already paid for both there, leaving me to cough up more blood trying to explain to the pharmacist at the second store why he should fill my prescription without me paying him, then ask him about drug interactions since I knew I’d be downing Maxalt (mind-saving Migraine meds) the second I got home.

I eventually got over my headache last night, although it’s returned twice today, likely I think, from the heat, and I’ve now used up an entire $10 three-pack of Maxalt tabs. My eye is less red and swollen but every time I turn on the fans, I literally feel it dry up (though I make sure the fans aren’t directed at my face) and then begin to blur and hurt again, which is a big problem at least for the next couple of days because of this BLASTED heat wave. When I turn off the fans, I find myself drenched in sweat (I don’t have an air con because I’m honestly usually not that hot) which the doctor told me to be careful of or I’d suffer the effects of dehydration.

I’m so depressed! I called the studio this afternoon and cancelled my two lessons — with Luis and Pasha — for this week. Plus, they’re starting a performance class this Thursday for the October showcase, which I was going to take. I don’t even know what dance the class is going to perform but judging by the teacher, likely Hustle, which would be a lot of fun. I almost cried when I spoke to the receptionist, defensively telling her there’s just no way with this sinus thing, returning migraine b/c of heat wave and having to wear glasses, and the damn glasses themselves that I can dance right now. She laughed and assured me it was okay and I could join the perf class next week; I’d easily catch up on the class and my private lessons. I just hope the eye is better next week. I still don’t know what real dancers do when things like this happen? I wonder if I could just go without seeing well – at least I wouldn’t freak myself out as much fixating on how horrible I looked in the mirror?… And maybe I’d be less inhibited with the “sexy poses” Luis gives me and Pasha’s “acting” suggestions, by not being able to see any crazed looks people in the studio may be giving me??? Hmmmm… Oooh, I know this so isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things, other people go through far worse, and I sound like a complete baby, but I just want this to be over; I want my contact lenses!!!!

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Help — What Do Real Dancers Do???

I took the day off from work Tuesday and made my annual trek out to the Winter Garden restaurant on the Brooklyn boardwalk to enjoy my little golden pot of red caviar with mounds of buttered bread and Russian white wine whilst taking in the alimentary ocean air and lovely sights of the charmingly vast cross-section of humanity found on Brighton Beach / Coney Island 🙂 See photos beginning here. This has become an annual tradition of mine since reconnecting over the same “brunch” with a friend from college Russian classes a few years ago after recognizing each other at an alumni event in the city. Except now that she’s gone to Washington DC to do fancy State Department things, I just go out on my own now — kinda my little celebration of the beginning of the summer, which started way late for me this year since work was a total bitch all the way through mid July… Anyway, after my totally dehydrating meal of salt and alcohol, I decided to walk to the other end of the boardwalk and visit the Aquarium, so I could reconnect with my little friends — the happy smiling beluga whale, bashfully adorable sea horses, scary great whites, and my favorite, the leafy sea dragon — the most oddly beautiful little creature who looks like a cross between a fish, seahorse, and, as his name implies, leaf, which he maintains for camoflage. I’d forgotten that the beluga had passed away last year, they no longer had either the leafy or weedy sea dragons, and I missed the bloody shark feeding frenzy, but I did get to see the sea lion performance in the center tank, and plenty of cute wiskery otters and elephantine walruses seemingly trying to rub up against us humans via the glass of the underground tank separating us from them. And there were plenty of little seahorses, although it was really upsetting me that no one was obeying the PLETHORA of “please don’t take flash photos” signs. Sea horses in particular are very shy and easily frightened, poor things. Of course I don’t mind flashing away at a certain bravura ABT dancer doing a dangerous leap during curtain call, but no way will I harm a tiny defenseless fish!

Anyway, between dehydrating myself with food and wine, surrounding myself with sneezing coughing children, and getting caught in an actually quite chilly seabreeze, I woke up in the middle of the night with a horrible sore throat. Ended up coming down with the second of the two bouts of flu I’ve had in only six months. My doctor had offered to send me to get a vaccine this year since there was no shortage, but I said no bother, didn’t get vaccine or illness last year, I’ll be fine. I’m never, ever not getting it again! I was out cold for two weeks in February, and have been sick for five days now. I finally felt it beginning to degenerate into a cold yesterday, but last flu that cold turned into a flaming burning searing sinus infection. And, a few hours ago, I noticed a scratching sensation in my left eye, followed by intermittent bluriness. I changed contact lenses, but after it continued to hurt, I looked in the mirror to see the eye was completely red, swollen, and draining some kind of clear but steady substance. Doctor mom says it’s an infection. I’m gonna call the real doctor tomorrow, but if it is, I’m scared she’s going to tell me I have to wear glasses for a while. I can’t wear them at all, especially in dance. Not only will they fly off during a lift — forget a lift — a simple spin even — but I have no depth perception since I never wear them since I have a weirdly shaped face, which no pair can fit correctly. I’ve been wearing them for three hours now and have stubbed both toes twice on various apartment furniture that appeared much farther away than they actually were, slammed my right shoulder into the wall rounding the kitchen corner, and almost missed a stair on the way out of my building to the corner bodega. But even if I was used to them, they’d never stay put during any low-level trick. What do real dancers do when these things happen? I mean, I’m trying to take good care of my knees and hips now, doing my strengthening exercises regularly and taking Advil and epsom salt baths at the first sign of inflammation, and I’m TRYING to eat well. But I never thought of a flu / cold turning into an eye infection requiring me to wear glasses as a potential problem. And, although my performance is still a couple of months away, now is the time I really have to start getting serious. Luis warned me last lesson now that we’re done choreographing he’s going to start being a total hardass on me. I assured him I was ready; now I might have to cancel my next lesson? The key obviously is to stay healthy in the first place, which, for some reason, the last couple years I have not been able to do. Anyone sneezes within a half mile of me and my throat is on fire next morning. Are there super-vitamins? I was taking Centrum, but that didn’t seem to be doing anything for me. Professional dancers never seem to get sick??? Oooh, hopefully the doctor will give me two days of amoxicillan and it’ll be all over. If I can even call her; my voice is starting to give into laringytis. Could I be more of a mess?

Anyway, before coming down with the full-fledged flu, I managed to see a couple performances by the San Francisco Ballet, which just finished a week-long run at Lincoln Center. Tuesday, their opening night, I spotted two “celebrities” — dance writer and former ABT soloist Joseph Carman, and with him William Cubberly, the publisher of the book they put together with photographer Roy Round, Round About the Ballet. I’d met Cubberly before, in Barnes and Noble, but when he asked me, camped out on the floor perusing the glossy photos, what I thought, frustrated from having just been hit on by a very annoying guy, I was kind of rude to him, without of course realizing he was just the author wanting to know what I thought of his book! Now I’m not even sure he’s straight, so I’m laughing even more at myself for having thought he was trying to pick me up 🙂 Anyway, they passed right by me, but I said nothing — I’m far too shy 🙁 Then, Thursday, I saw Mark Morris‘s Sylvia (okay, I was a bit run-down by then, but I swear, I didn’t breathe on a single soul!), which was okay and better than the Ashton the ABT does (though no one but NO ONE makes a better Aminta than the splendid David Hallberg!) but I was hoping for something a bit more iconoclastic from Morris, even though Playbill warned not to… Speaking of Mr. Tall and Beautiful (Hallberg, of course), I saw his radiant blonde head up in the Fourth Ring. Wasn’t sure at first whether it was him, because he said on The Winger he was going to Mexico for a break and I didn’t know whether he was back yet, but his friend and fellow ABT dancer Matthew Murphy posted on his blog that they saw the ballet that night, so I was right :):) He was just sauntering around, in jeans and a t-shirt, like a normal person, not the STAR he is :):)

Okay, time for more nighttime Robitussin. I just wanna be well, dammit! Two days ago, I told myself to be glad the Cadbury 5 I’d gained at Blackpool was now gone; now, I just wanna crave a cheeseburger and fries, would give anything to have my appetite back. Even if my eye thing is nothing serious, I’m not going to have the energy to dance…

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HOT HOT HOT!

I really thought there was going to be another blackout today in NY. I got on the 3 train about 9:25 a.m. just to stand, gripping the pole, and stand, and stand, and stand, before being told there was a loss of power and thus no local or express trains running on the 7th Ave. line. This news resulted in a mass exodus to the 8th Ave. line where several thousand profusely sweating, hysterically rushing, immensely frustrated people tried to pile into the first car of a C train, just so the train could sit and sit and sit in the station. About 15 minutes later, we were told there was a medical emergency and the train would be held indefinitely. I jumped out, landed a seat on a platform bench, and, deciding to screw being worried over being late to work, pulled out my Chris Anderson book — about which I will say more in a sec. When I finally boarded the next C train nearly an hour later, I honestly wondered if I should get right back off of it, thinking on such a hot day with one power-outage already underway, I may well find myself walking the 8 or so miles from the financial district to my apartment later today, which I did three years ago in brand new, un-broken-in shoes — not very pleasant. I had comfortable shoes on today, but have noticed the past few days a pain now in my left knee, in the exact location where I’d felt pain on my right knee when I was diagnosed with a meniscus tear. I haven’t been dancing a lot the past few weeks and after beginning to sense a jello-y presence accumulating on my lower butt, started myself on a regimen of demi and grand plies, days before I noticed the pain. Can I please bend my knee without injuring myself, for crying out loud!?!? Anyway, it wasn’t nearly so hot three years ago either. Today, it almost hit the 100 degree mark — was probably over that with the humidity. By the time I got to work, two hours after I began my normally 40 minute commute, I was dripping with sweat, and, being from Phoenix, where it’s often at least 110 degrees in the summer, I really don’t sweat on the east coast. I can’t imagine how hot a normal person must have been. If there would’ve been another blackout, there may well have been several heat strokes. We really really really have to do something, as a society, about global warming…

Anyway, I am horribly sad that the ABT has now ended its summer Met season, and am suffering from ridiculously serious separation anxiety. Therefore, I have posted on the photo page some of my favorite curtain-call moments featuring their incredible, world-class cast (because, with a company populated by such “characters,” rarely does the fall of the curtain signal the end of the show:):):). In particular, I find that I’ve developed a stupid little bad crush on baby principal David Hallberg. He’s such a little cutie — in addition to being a charming dancer with a very mature for his age, very regal stage presence, his entries in Kristin Sloan’s brilliant and ADDICTIVE blog, The Winger, are so well thought-out, and he’s quite sophisticated and cerebral, especially for a 24-year-old. Funny, since I’m first and foremost a writer and reader, I tend to develop crushes on dancers not through their dancing but either their books, or their interviews in magazines and books (e.g. Marcelo!) or, now, in their blog posts 🙂 I also think part of my ABT-detachment issues are stemming from the fact that now I really have to focus on my own dancing since I no longer have my favorites to watch and since my showcase is coming up in just a few months!!! Needless to say, it’s a lot easier to watch someone else perform (especially if that someone is the best in the world…) than deal with my own dance problems!

While not dancing a lot lately, I’ve started reading this book called The Long Tail. Normally, I don’t read a lot of non-fiction but Kristin (see how addicted I am???) posted about attending author Chris Anderson’s book signing party and when I read her link to his intriguingly original book-in-progress blog, then that same day received an email from Borders offering me, as a rewards member, a 30% discount on that very book, have had my nose in it for the past several nights now. His thesis is that the internet has fundamentally changed the laws of supply and demand so that instead of only a few big commercial, mainstream “hits” reaching and thus dominating the public mind, consumers are discovering smaller, alternative “niche” products. Online stores like Amazon and Netflix are realizing that while each “niche” product in and of itself doesn’t sell as well as one “hit,” taken together the “niche” products consistitute a market far greater than the “hit” market — a market the online stores, without the overhead costs of actual stores, are exploiting. This is great news for first-time or avant-garde book authors or filmmakers whose sales potential publishers and production companies find risky because, with online companies selling more non-mainstream products, we actually have a fighting chance of our good actually making it to the consumer:) But I wonder what it means for dance. Online advertising (e.g. Google) has opened up to smaller niche advertisers in the same way as online stores, Anderson argues. So alternative choreographers and small dance companies can better sell themeselves to the public. But dancers make relatively low salaries for the same reason stage actors do, and while a live performance (of which there is no equal of course) costs many many times what a taped one does and a tape has the potential, with the internet, of taking in many times that of a live show, I wonder if DVD is the future of dance. While nothing beats a live performance, I have many dance videos that I treasure and watch over and over again. While Nureyev directed filmed versions of himself and his company dancing, he proclaimed that he was a much better stage performer, as are many of today’s great performers with through-the-roof charisma, like Angel Corella. But, being too young to have ever seen him perform, those taped versions of Nureyev are the only way I “know” him, and, from viewing those tapes, he has become my favorite ever dancer. So, is it so bad if lots of people have access to dance solely on tape? Hmmm, it’s interesting to ponder. I have to finish the book though!

Very excited because I sent off for my Blackpool seat tickets today! True, the dance festival doesn’t happen until end of May 2007, but the cut-off deadline for seat ticket orders (standing room only tickets are available until about a couple of weeks before the event) must reach their England office by July 28th. So, if you think you’re gonna go, and you want to be guaranteed a seat, go to their website, download an order form, and fax or fed-ex it right away!

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Big Fat Ugly Toe

Embarrasingly, I broke down and went to the podiatrist yesterday for stupid toe pain and swelling. Two weeks ago when I was in the studio with Pasha I suddenly felt this horrible surge of pain surge through my right big toe and, after the severe pain went away, it kept hurting. I thought I may have a splinter from the hardwood floor, but when I got home I looked and looked and couldn’t find anything in my toe or shoe. It continued to hurt off an on all the way through Blackpool. So the doctor took an x-ray and verified there’s no splinter or glass. But what I do have is a bone spur, an inflammation surrounding the bone, caused by pressing down too hard on the bone. So, how am I supposed to point or go up on high releve, onto the tips of my toes??? Doc says I’ll need to ice it regularly and take Ibuprofin when pain gets bad, and possible Cortizone injections may be in my future.

So, I have only been dancing two years now and this is my injury list thus far: tendonitis in both hips, bursitis in both hips, partially torn meniscus in right knee, strained left adductor muscle, partially torn ligament in left wrist, tendonitis in right thumb (latter two are due, I kid not, to guys in class holding me too hard — and my hand surgeon made me promise I would either learn to be more assertive and tell my classmates not to manhandle me so roughly or else I’d have to stop with the group classes and only take private lessons with pros), and now this bone spur in my big toe. I don’t know how professional dancers do it. I only dance a couple of hours a day!

Yesterday on my way home, I ran into an old friend from my former studio, Brittania, who told me she’s competing for the first time with her teacher at the upcoming Manhattan Dancesport Championships, which brightened my day because I was starting to get depressed from Blackpool being over and getting back into my daily grind, when she reminded me of this fabulous competition coming up over 4th of July weekend. This was one of the first I attended and is what made me really fall in love with the idea of competing. All of the best pro dancers in the country are there, as it’s the most prestigious comp in the mid-Atlantic region. It’s at the Marriott in Brooklyn Heights (despite the competiton’s name…) and much more will be posted closer in time!

While talking with Brittania, I saw Doug Liman (director of Swingers, Go, and Bourne Identity movies), which excited me because, before dance overtook my life and I was a big movie-goer, I used to have a crush on him — partly because he went to my alma mater and his father was a big bleeding-heart do-gooder attorney. My friends make fun of me because I have been known to practically bump right into, without recognizing, people like Gwynneth Paltrow and Wesley Snipes (Gwynneth was incognito and my friend only recognized her by her sunglasses, which she saw her wearing in Vogue, but Wesley was actually filming and thus surrounded by cameras and crew!), but then I’ll recognize a behind-the-scenes director walking down the street, or a ballet dancer like Herman Cornejo on the subway…

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Physical Therapist is Pissed About Pot-Stir

Just got back from physical therapy. When I limped in, my therapist had this bewildered look. “Oh no, what happened?” she said.

“No, nothing to my injury,” I said (I have a partially torn meniscus in my right knee likely caused by unconsiously forcing turnout from the knees in ballet since I’ve developed both tendonitis and bursitis in both hips, making it hard to turn out from the proper place — the hip joints). “My thigh is just a little sore from a new thingy I was doing in my Latin lesson last night.”

“Show me,” she said, frowning.

When I illustrated how I was sitting butt half an inch from the floor, balancing on the ball of my left foot, right foot off floor and pointed, while Luis whipped me around repeatedly, she screamed, “What? That’s totally hard on your knees. Hello, you have a knee injury!”

After lecturing me about dancing at all until I healed, then about ever dancing more often then every other day even after the meniscus healed because of my ongoing tendonitis and perpetually tight IT band (still not completely sure what that is), she finally said I could do the spin if I promised to do it only on the left leg and even then be very very careful and not practice it for half an hour at a time.

But if I limit my dancing to every couple of days, only an hour or two a day and then don’t practice difficult things, obviously I’ll never improve. And I can’t wait for an injury to heal if it’s tendonitis, which never heals and can cause other problems. It really makes me feel for people like Kristin Sloan (from NYCBallet) and other professional dancers who have ongoing or recurring injuries because how are they supposed to limit their dancing time? How can anyone limit their dancing time!!

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Dancers are Really Smart

Oof. Had my second lesson last night with Luis. I learned this flying fish thing where I grab my left foot over his shoulder and extend my right leg out into splits as far as possible and he whirls me around and around and around. Almost threw up. Also almost kicked a lady in the chest with foot of extended leg. Actually, I am becoming known for kicking ladies in the chest. A couple of weeks ago, with Pasha, I was doing a lift and when I jumped and he picked me up and I extended my front leg out, it hit a female student right smack in the chest. Fortunately I was only wearing ballet slippers and not evil latin stilettos. And fortunately she wasn’t hurt and we were able to kind of laugh about it afterward because the lift happened right as Jessica Simpson bellowed over the speaker, “Take my breath awayyyy”, which I guess I kind of did to her.
Anyway, I also learned a “pot stir” last night, which is where Luis is standing above me spinning me, looking indeed like he’s stirring a thick concoction in a big ole pot, and I play the pot, or the gunk in the pot I guess, spinning on one foot. His professional partner, Anya, did like 50 spins in a row with him during the last performance. After half an hour of practicing it, I managed to do 4 rotations without falling flat on my nonexistant butt.

Dancing is so hard!

Luis told me I’d be sore today because the pot stir tends to do that to women, and suggested a hot bath and ibuprofin. But I didn’t feel a thing last night and swore I was strong, he was wrong. Of course I could hardly make it down the stairs from my loft this morning, and it’s only gotten worse throughout the day. Can hardly lift my left thigh up at this point, which means major limping. Guess listening to the teacher is not a bad idea.