Pain

 

Because my TAC headaches have not been responding so well to my regular medication, my neurologist wants me to try something different for a while. I went to the pharmacy today to pick up my new prescription. It cost $100 after my insurance copay, for 6 doses. Six doses. I hope Glaxo Wellcome are happy with themselves for finding a way to make big bucks off of human pain and suffering.

And I know I’m hardly the only one who struggles to pay for prescription meds. I know older, retired people who have credit card debt because the only way they can pay for necessary medication is to charge it. Medicare apparently covers very little.

I hope Obama makes healthcare reform a very top priority when he becomes president. One of the reasons — the main reason actually — I’d been such a Hillary supporter is that I knew healthcare was her biggest issue. I trusted that she would work tirelessly for change, as she did when her husband was in office. I really hope we can expect the same from Obama.

Weekend of Trigeminals And Festivals

Trigeminal sounds like a marathon, doesn’t it. Or a graduate school entrance exam. I wish. Instead it’s a stupid neurological condition I suffer from (whose full name is Trigeminal Autonomic Cephalgia, or TAC) which causes for no apparent reason hideous headaches that feel like someone is stabbing you in the temple repeatedly with a hot poker along with sinus congestion and swelling on that side of your face. (I’d link to a description of it if I could, but the condition is so rare, the only info available on the internet is for medical specialists).

Friday night I came home and was so tired from my work week, I’m embarrassed to say, I fell asleep on my futon while reading. It was only a twenty minute nap, but in that twenty minutes, a TAC headache began to come on (you almost always wake up with them; they happen during sleep, for whatever reason). It was just the beginnings, so the searing pain was not in full radiance, so I quickly downed a couple of Excedrin with a can of Coke. It went away. But then I was scared to go to sleep, knowing full well I’d likely wake up feeling like my head was on fire. So, I sat on my futon trying to force myself to read until 3:00 in the morning, when I no longer could stay awake. I bunched several pillows up against the headrest and tried to sleep sitting up. Something makes me feel like, in part, the problem comes about because of the recumbent position of your head during sleep. I despise sleeping upright but tried it anyway. I was wrong though; I was blasted awake two hours later by the ice pick / fever / mass sinus congestion on the right side of my head.

Since my last experience with one of these things, I’ve visited a headache specialist, who prescribed three different medications — I was to try one, if that didn’t work, another, then a third last resort if the first two didn’t work. The old meds, which were prescribed for migraine headache (since that’s what my old neurologist mis-diagnosed me with), either didn’t work at all, or in the case of one — Maxalt — after making me go completely numb from the waist up, took the most brutal edge off the stabs, but kept the underlying duller pain and sinus-like symptoms intact, and then the stabs would return every eight hours like clockwork. A box of four Maxalt pills costs me $25 after insurance copay, and I’d go through an average of eight pills for one headache episode. So, $50 headache. The expense combined with my neurologist’s shrieks when I told her how many of these blood vessel constrictors I’d taken — one to two are supposed to kill a migraine completely and the pills can be potentially dangerous since they work by constricting the flow of blood to your brain — and her inability to look beyond the possibility that my headaches may be something other than migraines, sent me scampering to another doctor, this time a headache specialist at Columbia University’s Headache Center.

So my new neurologist re-diagnosed me, with TAC, and gave me as I said three meds, since there are different forms of TAC and each responds to something different. The first is Indomethacin, and is basically a massive dose of Ibuprofin. I tried that one. Happily, after about an hour and a half it began to kick in. And, unbelievably, it worked completely! The pain and facial swelling and congestion were completely gone; no remnants like with the Maxalt! I was ecstatic. I thought one dose and it’s over! But that was yesterday.

Today I woke up with my head on fire again. According to the package insert, I’m allowed three doses per day, but I’m so not in love with the idea of taking Indo at all. It can cause stroke and heart attack and a whole host of stomach problems. The sword-fight in my skull necessitated another dose regardless. But this time it took two hours to work and then the pain didn’t completely go away. I was so upset. Not my miracle drug after all.

I thought of taking the second med — injectible Imitrex (another blood vessel constrictor, like Maxalt, but faster-working and supposedly more effective for TACs). Freaking out over being able to effectively stab myself in the thigh, I forced myself to assemble the little shot dispenser and study the instructions, only to realize the sample he gave me had long expired. (Since it’s a liquid, I guess it doesn’t last long). And of course he didn’t give me a prescription since he wanted to see first if the sample worked. These headache episodes always happen on long holiday weekend — always! I thought of calling his answering service and leaving a message for the doctor on call to phone in a prescription, but then I also didn’t want to mix medications and it hadn’t been long since I’d taken the Indo. Massive anti-inflammatory and blood vessel-constrictor don’t seem like a good match.

Enough edge was taken off by Indo that I decided to go out and get some fresh air for once this weekend. So, I went to this Brazilian festival in midtown. In celebration of Brazil’s upcoming independence day (the 7th), they had a big street fair replete with food, music, and of course dance.

 

A televised concert the huge crowd gathered to watch.

 

I wanted to try something Braziliany for lunch, but all those people eat is carne, carne, and more carne!

 

If I ever go for Carnival, would I survive?

I finally found these little cheese-filled fried doughy things.

Which I had with a can of this, which tasted like cherry-flavored gingerale. Pretty good!

What would a Brazilian festival be without sambistas! There was hardly any place to dance, though, the streets were so full. They should probably have some risers set up so onlookers bearing cameras could sit down and watch the commotion without standing right in the middle of the band, leaving no space for the dancers.

Another band, on a side street. I really liked this one, called “The Berkshires Samba Group” — very fun percussion. I bought their CD.

I didn’t join the samba mosh pit– my head was hurting too much, but was fun to watch!

Mmmm, dessert! I don’t know if these candy-covered fruits had anything to do with Brazil, but I justified a chocolate-covered banana kebob anyway…

Now I’m home and the dull pain is back and getting stronger. I took another dose of Indomethacin. Pain is abating, but I’m afraid to go to sleep…

A Little Overwhelmed!

Each day yet more of the splendid Fall Season’s offerings flood my mailbox. So exciting! But a little nervewracking, given all the things I have to order tickets for! This is why I so love NY though — that unique combination of intoxicating stimulation and potentially migraine-inducing excess… (or in my case, TAC-headache-inducing excess … am trying to tell myself I do NOT feel one coming on, but am armed with meds just in case…)

Well, I guess this is what the holiday is for, to breathe deeply, lounge around, rest up for the happy hubbub to come 🙂 Happy Labor Day, everyone, have a long and relaxing weekend!

Dance of The Best Kind — Provocative, Evocative and Meaning-Laden: Ohad Naharin’s DecaDance

Wednesday night I went to contemporary ballet company Cedar Lake‘s performance space in west Chelsea to see “DecaDance,” a new work comprised of pieces from the past 20 years choreographed by Israeli dancemaker Ohad Naharin for his Tel Aviv-based company, Batsheva.

Still a bit disoriented from jet lag, a long drawn-out meds-laden TAC headache, and coming down from my ballroom high, I was worried I just wouldn’t be into a small, modern dance performance enough to appreciate it (I’d ordered the ticket a while ago). But, happily, I was very wrong! “DecaDance” was just what the doctor ordered to get me out of my Blackpool-withdrawal depression and back into the ever-alive NYC dance scene.

To me, this is the best kind of dance: movement creating images that, combined with provocative words and/or exhilarating, exotic, or evocative music, unsettle, evoke, just compel you stop, look, and think. I remember Joan Acocella reviewing in the New Yorker Telophaza, the work Batsheva performed nearly a year ago at last year’s Lincoln Center Festival. I remember her saying she wished with all the goings-on in the world at the time, Israel’s premier dance company would have put on a program infused with some kind of political meaning. I understood her sentiment, mainly because I like that kind of work as well and am always immensely interested in knowing what it’s like to be a citizen of another country, to exist in a world completely different from my own, but I thought it unfair to demand dance containing some kind of meaning about world politics from a troupe simply because of the geopolitical situation of its country. But the funny thing is that, watching Wednesday night, though none of the pieces made any kind of simplistic statement, I think my brain just naturally infused everything I saw with a socio-political undertone, perhaps because of that geopolitical situation.

The program began with a line of dancers, dressed in white leotards and black tights. The dancers shouted chants whose meaning I couldn’t understand, then one by one, each dancer took a couple of steps forward and danced, then stepped back into line while another dancer took a turn. Then, after each dancer had his or her piece, the line stepped backward together, fading into the background shadows. The way the light reflected only the bright white leotards had the effect of making their legs fade into the dark, so that they looked like limbless torsos. The chanting made me think of a military regime, and the legless bodies of the effect of war. I have no idea if that was what Naharin had in mind, but that’s what I got.

That scene led to a very brief pas de deux between two women (or was it a woman and a man … can’t remember) dressed in black corsets lifting, scratching at, bouncing off of each other, and that blended into a scene with several men engaging either in a monk-like ritual cleansing involving a bucket of dark, muddied water, or else splashing themselves with war paint. About three-quarters of the way through that scene a scantily-clad yet virile-looking woman wearing a feathery headdress and a face-full of garish make-up (perhaps another kind of war paint) walked sexily across stage on low stilts. After the men left, she returned with a free-standing microphone atop a giant pitchfork and, in the manner of a cabaret performer, lip-synced the words to an industrial techno-aria. Because of her raunchy garb, gawdy makeup and the manly yet sexy way she walked on the body-distorting stilts, she evoked for me a frightening vision from the late Weimar Republic or perhaps a contemporary Russian sex slave (thanks to Blackpool, I have Russia on the mind lately: anytime there’s a ballroom dance competition, the environs are tranformed into a “little Russia”) — either way, a grotesque reminder of the way a time of uninhibited freedom can turn into a reign of terror or how one person’s idea of fun is another’s hell.

My favorite piece involved several women who danced to a spoken word accompaniment. In all of the reviews I’ve read where this program or different versions of it have been performed elsewhere, none mention this piece, so I have no idea what it’s called and unfortunately can’t remember the words of the voice-over perfectly. One of the annoying things about this program is that the playbill doesn’t specify which piece is from which longer work, and which musical number accompanies which work, so I couldn’t figure out what each piece was called or research it very well. Naharin says, the playbill notes, that he enjoys “breaking down and reconstructing” his work, “enabl[ing him] to look at many elements in the works from a new angle,” so he obviously doesn’t want us to get bogged down in trying to figure out which piece is from which larger work, but wants us to see it as a new whole. The ‘problem’ or maybe I should say ‘challenge’ with this for me is, I’m unfamiliar with his work and so have no idea if I’m totally reading anything completely wrong. I may have a wholly different interpretation if I saw, for example, the Weimar / Russian slave woman in the context of the whole “Sabotage Baby.” It made me want to see his other works so I could compare, see if I “got it right” or see how my interpretation shifted depending on context.

Anyway, back to my favorite piece, about which I couldn’t research since I couldn’t figure out it’s title, longer whole, or sound accompaniment …: the male (if memory serves correctly) voice-over, issues forth various orders to the women dancers, and perhaps to the audience, providing, as I saw it, an ironic commentary on living female. The voice orders you / them to play the game enough to be able to own a house and car, resist working or thinking too hard so as to over-stress their fragile compositions, reject big ideas or philosophies, reject too much beauty so as not get carried away with art, and my favorite line — always wipe your ass really well because it’s uncouth to let others know you just shit. The piece – both the lyrics of the voice-over and the dance movements, was repetitive: the speaker repeated each line before adding a new one. And each woman had a certain movement corresponding with each word. Everytime the phrase repeated, so did each woman’s dance phrase. It was really interesting seeing the way the dance phrase corresponded to the written, and the way the movement added to the meaning of the words. For example, when the voice-over dictated, “reject Beethoven, the spider, the damnation of Faust,” a phrase near the beginning of the piece and thus repeated many many times, it was interesting to see each dancer’s interpretation of “spider,” “Beethoven,” and “damnation of Faust.” Some movements were unique to each dancer; others universal. It definitely didn’t speak to the state of Israel or have any huge overarching meaning for world affairs in the way the Acocella article wished for, but sometimes I find those quietly ‘personal-is-political’ pieces to have the most profundity.

Then there are a couple of pieces that “break the fourth wall”– ie: involve audience participation. One female dancer tried to pull me onstage with her to participate in this group jumpy hip hop – turned tango-y number, but I had to refuse because I was still woozy from the meds and, perhaps, ridiculously, still jet lag. Anyway, I never feel comfortable doing such things. She was nice and let me go, found someone else to get up there with her!

There are some other compelling pieces that I left out. I’m really interested to hear what others think about this. I found it very evocative, thought-provoking, very open to interpretation, and just a lot of fun. It’s showing through July 1st at Cedar Lake. Go!

Depressed, Missing Slavik and Sergey, and Suffering TAC Headache…

Sorry no posting for the last couple of days. It took me forever to get home, first because of a several-hour-long plane delay, then over an hour-long cab wait at Port Authority (to which I took a bus from JFK). And I’m still so tired. I didn’t get much sleep the entire time I was there (in Blackpool), and it’s now really catching up with me. I’m just kind of depressed, missing Slavik Kryklyvyy and Sergey Surkov and all of my favorite Latin people…

Slavik is such a ham, as I realized for the first time this competition. The only other time I’ve seen him dance live was at U.S. Nationals in Florida last September when he competed in the open-to-the-world category, and there, he didn’t play so to the crowd since it really wasn’t his people. Here of course, everyone went completely nuts screaming and cheering the nanosecond he stepped onto the floor so he really hammed it up. How do I choose these guys? Marcelo, Jose, now this one… guess I’m just naturally attracted to a certain dancer-personality type …

Although Sergey seems more quiet, like a David Hallberg. No hamminess, no crazed fanfare, just great dancing, near flawless technique, and intense passion for his very pretty partner… It’s funny because, at one point during finals, Joanna Leunis and Michael Malitowski were dancing very close to Sergey and Melia and I could see from afar that the way Michael threw Joanna out to his right into a lunge, she was going to brush Sergey’s left side. She kind of reached out and playfully petted his left shoulder to let him know she was there, and he was so focused, as he always is, on Melia, I thought oh no, Joanna’s totally gonna disturb his concentration! He did seem a little surprised, but not too much so — obviously he’s used to dancing on a very crowded dance floor after all! After the round was over, still close to Michael and Joanna, he kind of tenderly patted her on the shoulder as well. It was cute. He seems kind of shy. Very attractive 🙂

Hehehe, do you think he’s mad at me for this pic?!?! I nearly dropped my camera when he shot me this look 🙂 Isn’t he cute — doesn’t he look kind of like Keanu Reeves?! He and Melia were meeting fans and autographing posters at the Chrisanne boutique in the shop pavilion, which I blogged about earlier, but here is a better picture. Sorry about the crappy cell phone pictures, by the way. It was the only way I could blog without worrying about an insecure wireless connection for my laptop. I’ll get a better cameraphone the next time!

Anyway, it was just so exciting to be there and I feel like none of my world favorites come to the U.S. competitions and so I don’t know now when I’ll see them again. I hate to think of having to wait another whole year… Now on top of being tired and depressed, or perhaps because of one or both of them, I have another one of these horrid headaches, which means, after the pain, days of being all woozy from the meds…

Anyway, I managed to get all of my pictures downloaded, although the captions are not all up and some names are spelled wrong and there are typos galore… all of which I plan to have fixed by this weekend, at the latest. Unfortunately the pictures this year are not as good as those last year, mainly because I couldn’t get a very good seat up close to the action, so everything is from afar, and pics of the finals in all competitions are from all the way up in the balcony, so you can hardly make out most of the dancers’ faces… It was insanely crowded, so it meant reaching up and over heads, snapping away haphazardly and hoping the picture came out okay… Another thing that kind of depressed me though I guess it shouldn’t. I should be happy that “Dancing With the Stars” and all of these shows have made ballroom dancing so popular that the number of amateur entries basically doubled and it was so crowded you could hardly move, but … I don’t know, it just meant I could hardly see any of the action.

I’m going to be talking about this likely for weeks to come, and posting things as I remember them, but here are a few more quick highlights:

bryan and carmen Bryan Watson and Carmen taking their final ballroom floor walk en route to the judges to receive their final first-place Latin champions trophy. So sad. So many retirements this year in dance in general…

Max Kozhevnikov and Yulia Zagoruychenko being called to the floor to receive one of their two finalist awards: they placed sixth in Rhumba I think fifth in Jive. Max was so cute when their number (198) was called as finalist! He ran out onto the floor and started jumping around pounding his fists into the air like a cute little kid. Yulia ran up behind him and grabbed him from behind. He then remembered her and turned around and hugged her.

Same EXACT actions from these two:

Victor Fung and Anna Mikhed

Victor Fung and Anna Mikhed who, for the first time, made finals in Standard Ballroom in three of the four dances (excluding waltz). He ran out in his tux and tails, jumped around pounding the air excitedly, then she ran out behind him in her ballgown, and had to tap him on the back before he turned around and remembered, oh yeah my partner, she helped too, really should include her in the euphoria… Ballroom men!!!!!

It was a great Blackpool for America this year. With Anna and Victor making finals in Standard and Max and Yulia in Latin, and Jonathan Wilkins and Katusha Demidova placed second overall in Standard.

jonathan and katusha

Okay, that is all for now… more later…

Also, I went to see ABT‘s Sleeping Beauty last night but will blog about it after I see it again, with another cast, later this week.