Tag: Kelly Osbourne

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Natalie Portman’s Black Swan Acceptance Speech at the Oscars

 

So what did you guys think of it? I tried to find a YouTube video but couldn’t find a free one. Interesting that companies are going to start charging for subscriptions for that kind of thing… Anyway, I love that she thanked and named all the professional dancers who trained her this time, and that she expressed how wonderful and enlightening it was to work with them all. She honestly elevated the film with her speech in my opinion.

And how sweet was it for her to try to bring Millepied up with her onstage! I watched E!’s red carpet show – mainly to see her – but she arrived last and seemingly without Millepied (since she was interviewed alone). I was like, where is he?! But he was there, of course.

Speaking of the red carpet show, I loved Mila Kunis’s dress.

 

And Scarlett Johansson’s, though it didn’t seem to go over too well with Kelly Osbourne and the other woman who was hosting the show:

 

And Helena Bonham Carter noted that her dress was by Colleen Atwood, who is the costume designer who ended up winning best costume design for Alice in Wonderland. She said she preferred to celebrate the movies rather than fashion on this night:

 

I thought all of the best actor and best supporting actor speeches were good. Loved Colin Firth’s, loved him in King’s Speech, but still love Jesse Eisenberg as well. Love that in her excitement, Melissa Leo used profanity. How’d they bleep that out so quickly? And did Kirk Douglas actually grab her butt? Someone on Twitter said they thought they saw that. He was kind of acting in an antiquated sexist kind of way, with all his flirting with Hathaway and all, so I totally believe he may have. He would have made me so nervous if I were Leo. Poor Leo, I thought. This is her moment, not his. Interesting (and proper) move, to include Douglas as a presenter, because Anne Hathaway and James Franco seemed to keep sending the message that they were invited to host because they represented the young, hip generation. Is that true? She seemed like a big, clumsy, awkward goof – probably the nerves, and he seemed to have taken a bit too much Valium (or something else) to calm his. Does Hollywood feel the need to pander to the young ‘uns too? Like ballet and the opera? How odd – movies are generally for the younger generations, I’d thought… Anyway, they bored me, those hosts. And Kirk Douglas scared me. Isn’t there, like, someone in between, who’s not too unsophisticated to take on that kind of role but who can also keep from violating current-day boundaries?

Anyway, overall a decent night. The end of the evening speeches made up for the poor hosting. Kind of.

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Why I’m Happy With the DWTS Finalist Results

So now everyone knows of tonight’s results, and who made it into next week’s finals on Dancing With the Stars: Jennifer Grey, Kyle Massey, and Bristol Palin. I really felt sorry for Brandy as she couldn’t help but cry at the results. And I thought she was a very good dancer. Actually, I think she’s an excellent dancer in general, and a good ballroom dancer.

But it seemed the judges and hosts felt it was Bristol who should have gone home. And last week on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Jimmy asked Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya whether they thought Bristol should still be on the show – meaning did they think it was unfair Kurt was booted when Bristol remained. Both wisely refused to judge Bristol’s dancing. Tonight, when Brooke questioned him about the results, Maks Chmerkovskiy said he believed in the American system of freedom to vote for your favorite, meaning he also thought Brandy deserved to be there more than Bristol but that Bristol had won what was simply a popularity contest.

But, to me, this show isn’t about who’s been the best since day one and remained the best throughout. It’s about who works hard and improves the most. Bristol’s like a Kelly Osbourne, like a Kelly Monaco all the way back from season one. She’s the proverbial underdog – the one with no dance training, no performance background but a modicum of movement ability, enough anyway to work with throughout the rest of the show. And she did work with it. She was just a regular person and now she’s an accomplished ballroom dancer.

I like Brandy too, but to me Brandy was another Sabrina Bryan. She can obviously dance hip hop, and many of her ballroom dances looked a bit hip hop-py to me, which is completely normal since that’s her dance background. Bristol was more of a blank slate. And I think, at this point in the show, she’s more of a natural ballroom dancer than Brandy. And that’s what this show is about.

I think voters voted the way they did not because of Sarah Palin’s fan base for cry eye – please! – but because many felt the same way I did. A lot of this show’s contestants who started out not so hot ended up getting far: besides the aforementioned, Kate Gosselin, Christian de la Fuente (remember what a weightless goof he looked like at the beginning?), and I remember thinking Helio was cute but that he had a long way to go at the beginning of his season, and ditto for Drew Lachey and Emmitt Smith. I don’t think Bristol’s going to win the whole competition – I really think Jennifer’s going to win – but I’m not at all surprised she went as far as she did, as far as Kelly Osbourne.

I also like Bristol for the exact reason the judges keep criticizing her. I like that she’s natural and she “just” dances and doesn’t overact everything. Acting is for the story ballets, not ballroom. Yes, you should show some expression but it shouldn’t be about that. But, who knows, maybe I am just burned out from watching So You Think You Can Dance try-outs for five hours today in Brooklyn, where the judges constantly told the contestants, however breathtaking their movement and excellent their technique, that they either smiled too much, didn’t smile enough, only smiled once, made weird expressions, mouthed lyrics, looked down and not at the judges, danced too far away from the edge of the stage and hence not “to” the judges, etc. etc. etc. – all comments that had nothing to do with dance, basically.

But more on that soon. Anyway, I am happy with the DWTS final three: the Dirty Dancing star, the underdog who’s come from behind, and Mr. Entertainment. So, Bristol’s the exact opposite of the other two. I’m really excited now for next week in a way that I wouldn’t have been if the three finalists all had the same strengths.

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DWTS SEASON NINE WINNER

 

Okay, okay I know it was Donny Osmond, but in my mind it was Kelly Osbourne! Or Mya. I thought Mya was by far the best dancer on the show this season, but Kelly was the most improved and that’s what this show should ultimately be about, imo. And there was something so relatable about Kelly; even though her father is a hugely famous pop star, she was still so human, and somehow so normal. Which is where she got her fan base, I’m sure. And of course Louis is my favorite dancer on the show, so there’s that for me.

I thought Donny was fine though, and I’m glad someone over 50 won that ball. I do wonder what the demographic was like this season — whether it was different from the rest? Good lord, has Marie lost weight since she was on the show or what?!

 

Anyway, how cool was it that Paloma Herrera (above image from here) was on SYTYCD tonight? I loved her — loved the beautiful tip-toes en pointe. Unfortunately my upstairs neighbor, Godzilla, was making such a heinous racket (the girl / beast has ruined just about every holiday for me for the past two years) that I didn’t get the full effect, and didn’t hear her announcement or her reception, but I wonder how well that classical Don Quixote solo fared with this audience? I guess we’ll see.

I admit I didn’t see last night’s show (I was out at NYCB and taped DWTS; can only record one thing on my recorder), but intend to watch vids if they’re up on YouTube yet. I’d love to see how Victor and Karen fared as a partnership. I mean, obviously those two were kicked off tonight but that doesn’t mean they did badly, just that the audience for whatever reason doesn’t care much for them and perhaps the judges felt like for political reasons they had to go with the audience a bit. I mean, how many weeks can you keep the same dancer on when the audience isn’t voting for them? And how much is that going to hurt ticket sales to the live shows if you actually advance them into the top ten?

Anyway, I liked Karen and thought she brought her own thing to the show and I’m sorry to see her go, and I’m really sorry to see Victor go since he was one of my favorite males. Oh well. I guess I’ll watch for Jakob and Russell from here on out.

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DWTS & SYTYCD PRETTY PREDICTABLE THIS WEEK, IN MANY WAYS

Wow, I’m so happy Kelly Osbourne and Karen Hauer are staying, on DWTS and SYTYCD respectively, after this week.

Re DWTS: I was really blown away by Kelly and Louis’s Quickstep Monday night and I have to take back what I said last week about her self-esteem not seeming to improve much. She danced that Quickstep with so much intelligence and sophistication and a real inner confidence. She was like a pro. I still think Mya is technically the best, but I’m rooting for Kelly!

I’m not at all surprised Joanna Krupa was booted. I think she tried hard but, as I’ve said before, I thought she didn’t have good enough dancer form and discipline in her body. Interestingly, as I was preparing to record the show, I happened upon the Ellen Degeneres show and saw her and Derrek on, where it was revealed that she’s in Playboy this month. And of course Monday night Hugh Hefner was on DWTS giving his esteemed opinion on why she should win. Anyway, when Ellen asked, Krupa denied using the Playboy cover to try to gain more votes, but I’m not so sure I believe it — even if it’s more the show’s producers who are behind such a stunt and not Krupa herself. So it backfired, unsurprisingly — I don’t think consumers of mags like that and this show come from the same demographic exactly.

Re SYTYCD: I really like Karen and think she’s so versatile and has such immense performance quality in her dancing. So I’m glad the judges decided to keep her this week and let Channing go. I kind of knew when both dancers ended up in the bottom three, the judges would do that. Karen’s different; she adds something unique. Channing’s like a slightly less compelling version of Mollee, who, with Nathan, surprisingly ended up in the bottom three as well. Well, maybe it’s not that surprising though, after what Nigel said about Nathan last week — I think his cutting him down and telling him his head was too big and he was only staying on because of his female teeny-bopper fans made all of the non-teeny-bopper watchers weigh in with their votes.

At any rate, this week Nigel told Nathan he was glad he seems to have listened to him and learned his lesson because he is truly one of the best dancers ever to be on the show. I was like “HUH???” Has he forgotten about Danny Tidwell, and don’t they keep saying Jakob’s by far the best this season? I mean, come on — what’s Nigel trying to do? Nathan is fine — he’s not a jerk and he’s not the best dancer this show has ever seen; he’s just a decent dancer and a regular contestant — stop trying to create drama.

Anyway, I do really like Russell too and he and Noelle’s Foxtrot was I think overall my favorite dance last night. That was so enjoyable. They both just floated over the floor, seemed to have perfect ballroom technique though he’s a krumper and she a contemporary dancer, and they gave it even more umph than regular ballroomers do. Excellent excellent job. I like Russell so much, I’ll even be happy if he wins over Jakob — so long as Jakob is in the finals šŸ™‚

I also thought Victor came to life for the first time this season last night. I didn’t much care for Tyce’s kooky birds breaking out of their cage routine but I thought Victor really made the most of the movement, hitting every line right on and making very bizarrely intriguing shapes with his body.

I think overall my favorite moment of the show was when Tony Meredith asked Legacy if he knew what Paso Doble was and Legacy said dramatically and humorously, “No! I know that it’s pronounced Paso Doble (and of course he said that with a perfect Spanish accent), but other than that I know nothing!” For some reason that comment just really cracked me up; I couldn’t stop laughing. I thought the routine was okay but I really didn’t think he and Kathryn looked like professional ballroom dancers the way Russell and Noelle did. Still, I like Legacy’s personality — well, I like both of them personality-wise, and want them to go far.

I loved Jakob and Ashleigh’s hip hop and thought they completely nailed it and it was one of the best hip hops I’ve ever seen on the show. The contemporary and ballroom dancer — that shows you just how remarkable they both are.

I liked but didn’t love the other two routines. I did like Ryan in Travis Wall’s contemporary but I just didn’t feel the passion there, unlike the judges. The judges were going on and on about him, saying he was the best Latin dancer ever to dance contemporary and I felt like saying, “Hey, you all said that about Janette last season!”

I have to say I really got upset about the judges’ remarks to Karen last night — at least Nigel’s (and Mary always says whatever he says; it’s like she’s afraid to disagree with him; Adam not so much so, though he does defer). Nigel’s said each week that she’s the sexiest dancer ever on the show — the sultriest, the most sensual, the most sexual — how many ways are there to say it? And she just kind of smiles at him, not flirtatiously but like she’s a woman who knows herself too well to let his words pierce her. So he puts her into this box — she’s the official “sex goddess” — and then this week he tells her that when she’s given a routine where she’s supposed to play “cute” — when she can’t be his said “sex goddess” — then her dancing doesn’t do anything for him. I love her expression when he said that — another wholly self-contained smile. But he really made me so mad for that. It wasn’t like she did the wrong thing — it wasn’t like she did a cutely girlish character like a sexed-up vixen. She performed the character right. I’m glad Adam stood up for her and said he liked it when she could show other sides of herself — which she did, and she did so well.

I saw Billy Bell in line yesterday morning at Starbucks. I didn’t speak to him (I’m shy) but wanted then to tell him how wonderful I thought he was and how much I want to see him on the show next season. But after last night, I wanted to tell him to finish Juilliard and try to get a good job with a great ballet company instead. Now, I don’t know. I feel a bit better about the show after tonight, after they didn’t dismiss Karen and gave as their reason for not dismissing her that she was a great performer and a quality dancer and not that she made Nigel hot.

Ugh, these shows. I mean, what is dance? It kind of breaks my heart that these shows tend to make it more about selling women’s bodies than about creating art.

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WAS THAT THE MOST BORING DANCING WITH THE STARS QUARTERFINAL OR WHAT?

Sorry I’ve been so out of it again with blogging, you guys — I can’t believe how many little errors there are in my book to correct… So stressful!

Anyway, I managed to watch DWTS last night. Thing is, I’m really so not into it; even if I wasn’t busy with my book, I’m so not into blogging about the show this season. I think Mya is overall the best contestant on the show right now, and so she probably deserves to win. But she just doesn’t do that much for me. I liked both her Quickstep and 70s Samba last night — I thought her Quickstep was actually pretty basic and technique-focused so I’m not sure why Len didn’t like it, and the Samba was fun — a lot of people dance Samba to disco music since it’s so hard to find good authentic Samba music around here.

I think overall I like Aaron the most though, even though he’s not as good as Mya. Still, he’s getting less and less fun, for some reason, as the season goes on. His over-the-top-ness is not enough to compel me to watch the show anymore. I liked but didn’t love his 90s Latin routine last night — wait, was itĀ  Jive? I don’t even remember? But I was annoyed with Karina that she didn’t let him do his fun boy-band moves. Why did she cut him off like that — I think it would have been hilarious. And what is with everyone getting sick? (Both Karina and Aaron had the flu at various points this week apparently…)

I thought all the Standard routines were pretty bland last night. I thought Donny’s Viennese Waltz was the best, mainly because Kym was so beautifully fluid. But during the Latin round, his 80s Paso wasn’t all that interesting. The costumes and music (I used to love Spin Me ‘Round) were far more fun and flashy than the actual dancing.

And I feel the same way about Kelly as I do Aaron. I liked watching her learn and grow early on but now it seems she’s stagnating and it’s not that interesting anymore. I thought her 60s Jive was cute and I love that Louis, unlike Karina, let her put her own Monkees-esque moves in.

I feel like Joanna really dances like a paper doll. She has no grounding, no weight, no strength or firmness in her body. You need that for ballroom, even for the Standard dances. You need that for any kind of dance. You need that to do fouettes and pirouettes in ballet. Not that I don’t dance exactly like that — that was always my problem: I looked emaciated and completely substanceless. I used to think it was just about being thin, but it’s not. There are very thin dancers who are very rooted and have a great deal of strength in their bodies. She’s a really really pretty paper doll, but a paper doll nonetheless and I can’t for the life of me understand why the judges fawn over her so.

 

 

I know, as Katrina had commented earlier, that seasons may collide, but I still so want Yankees to be on the show.Ā  Come on, A-Rod can dance with Smirnoff and Derek with … Lacey maybe. The World Series was the most exciting thing to happen since Roberto Bolle (look look, new pic from Weber book!) came to town. I’ve been a bit bored and depressed since it ended… šŸ™

One more thing about the Yankees: they had a little dance segment at the City Hall celebration — did anyone watch it? The dancers were teenaged schoolgirls, apparently, from Staten Island, called the LA Dancers — something like that. They were okay, but you know… Why don’t they have a real dancer, like Ashley Bouder? I think she’d be perfect — she’s cute and extremely athletic and would be very attractive to the average baseball fan. And she’s a NYCBallet dancer… Come on! Next year…

 

Photo of Bouder by Gene Schiavone, taken from Bailarinas; photos of A-Rod and Jeter taken from here and here respectively.

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I WANT CC SABATHIA TO BE ON DANCING WITH THE STARS

 

He would be fun! Or Derek Jeter, or A-Rod, who, by the way, on the night of the second World Series game, my friends and I saw at Blue Ribbon at 6 Columbus, where we went after seeing Morphoses (review of the program B still to come!) He was with Kate Hudson, and an entourage of course. We also saw Wallace Shawn there. Such a cutie — and he got more requests for autographs than A-Rod!

I mean, why are there never any baseball players on the show? Only footballers?

Anyway, this week’s show (which I realize I’m very late with now — don’t even ask; crazy crazy week): my favorites were Aaron and Karina’s Jive, Mya and Dmitry’s Foxtrot, and and Donny and Kym’s Quickstep. I thought Aaron’s Jive was downright professional-looking — I do think those athletic training courses she had him do beforehand so he’d get the kicks and flicks right — helped immensely. I thought Mya’s Foxtrot was very golden-age Hollywood, very glamorous and beautifully danced. And I thought Donny’s Quickstep showed excellent showmanship and very good footwork. I disagree with the judges who were critical of him — I thought he did an excellent job with that QS. And I missed the supposed mistakes!

I disagree with the judges on Michael and Anna’s Foxtrot, and Kelly and Louis’s Salsa. I thought Michael did much better last week with the Samba, and in this week’s group Paso — I think the Foxtrot just isn’t him. He didn’t look fluid and elegant and didn’t really have the rise and fall right, though it looked like he was trying hard — and the judges likely recognized that. I thought Kelly looked totally stiff in her Salsa though! She got better as the dance went on, but she looked really nervous and almost seemed like she was just going through the motions in the first third of it. When she did that twisted dip, Louis almost didn’t catch her and had to find his footing. But by the last third of the dance, she’d found her confidence and it was much more all-out. Funny thing is that this seems to be what she does every week, so I didn’t really see improvement on that front, though I still like her.

I also didn’t like Joanna and Derek’s Rumba. She looked like a paper-doll trying to be sexy, if you ask me. Everything seemed superficial — both the emotions and the hip action.

And I didn’t like Mark’s Samba. I didn’t really think it was a mess like the judges said but I don’t think it’s a dance that naturally looks good on him. He did much better with the group Paso. But I can see why he was the one to be booted last night.

I didn’t actually see the show last night (was out seeing FELA! on Broadway, which was excellent! Definitely go see it if you’re in NY — it’s such a “real” musical — you’re really taken back to the 70s, to Nigeria, to Fela Kuti’s nightclub, to the police brutality, to the music and dance, to his world; you really feel like you’re there, which, to me, doesn’t often happen with musicals. And it has Bill T. Jones‘s mark of choreographic excellence all over it!) Anyway, regarding DWTS, I missed Derek and Mark singing. How were they?

Above photo by Kathy Willens, Associated Press.

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DANCING WITH THE STARS: NICKELS IN BUTTS AND OZZY OSBOURNE EYES

It could have been becauseĀ I’ve had a crazy last few days — computer crashing, iphone dropping calls like mad, internet access intermittent, possessed cursor on computer I’m momentarily using, and now serious fights with upstairs Godzilla and her monster mother — we’ll call her Grendel orĀ Mother Grendel ratherĀ — it ALL happens at once! Anyway, I watched DWTS last night but I honestly can’t remember much — just too much on my mind.Ā 

Generally, I justĀ can’t stand the Paso Dobles done on these group shows. I love the Spanish dance elements — the flamenco taps and the matador posturing and the cape and all — but I can’t stand it “modernized” and danced to pop music. People just go too crazy with it and it doesn’t make any sense.

Still,Ā my two favorite moments of last night’s show (besides the costumes and wigs used in the group Hustle) were Kelly and Louis’s Paso to Ozzy Osbourne’s “Crazy Train” and Michael and Anna’s more traditional version of the dance (thank you AnnaĀ Demidova!) What I liked about Kelly and Louis though was mainly Louis’s eyes. They were done up to look like Ozzy (of the y 80s of course, not now) along with the hair. He was once so serious (Louis that is) and he looks like he’s having a lot of fun with dance these days, so good for him. He really makes me laugh. The dance though — she tried hard and he of course is excellent at everything he does, butĀ you could tell she kept wanting to jump up and down and pound her fist into the air, mosh-pit-like. And who wouldn’t — “Crazy Train” is not Paso music! I understood why LouisĀ chose it — and Ozzy in the audience looked like he was about to burst intoĀ tears of pride (what is happening to the world?)- but still.Ā 

And I loved Michael’s attempts to attain correct Paso posture by placing a nickel between his butt cheeks (at Anna’s suggestion). And I agree with Len that it worked! It is a really odd posture — pushing your hips so forward like that and standing up so straight from the waist down but then with kind of rounded shoulders. It seems so unnatural — like you’re ultra aware of your shaping —Ā unlikeĀ with the other Latin dances. And it ended up being Michael’s best dance.

I wasn’t that impressed with much else. I thought Mark’s Paso was strong and his movements sharp but something didn’t look quite right, and I’m not sure what it was. He looked too dainty or delicate orĀ something even though he was trying hard not to. And did Lacey blow out of a cannon or something? What was that entrance about?

Oh — I also really liked Karina and Aaron’sĀ Argentine Ā Tango. Really nice choreography and really intricate hooks with those legs. And complicated lifts with her legs wrapped every which way around his.

I thought it was rather funny when Joanna tripped in her A.T. I honestly thought it was Maks’s fault (who she danced with since Derek’s sick with flu, as is Mark Ballas — what’s up with those two?) Anyway, they recoverd nicely (Joanna and Maks that is) and seemed to score okay. In fact, I actually thought she did better after the flub. Her legs straightened and she had nicer lines and a really gorgeous ronde en l’air — whereas the first one was bent-kneed and rather blah.

Louie and Chelsie had some cute lifts but I think someone else needs to choreograph for them. Judges loved it but I think she’s not giving himĀ  enough to do and he ends up being more like her escort around the dance floor than a dancing partner.

And Mya’s A.T. was really gorgeous, expectedly. I honestly can’t remember the other two blondes or much of Donny’s though IĀ remember thinking Donny’s was decent.Ā 

I’m sorry I’m so out of it you guys! No sleep in quite some time! What did you guys think?

Judges seemed to like everyone; I have no idea who’s going home tonight.

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BAZ LUHRMANN SHOULD REPLACE BRUNO ON DWTS

No, I shouldn’t say that. Not after tonight, when Bruno actually behaved for once! Baz was sweet. And young! He must have been 20 when Strictly Ballroom came out?… I’m glad that movie’s mention received the most cheers by the audience. Makes me feel like viewers really do respect ballroom; like this show’s not all about celebrity.

Anyway, I thought all of the dancers did a little better tonight than last week; some — like Melissa — were greatly improved. I think my favorites overall were still Donny Osmond and Kym — he’s just too much fun and so cute! He had all that fast footwork in the Jive so down, from the tricks, the flicks, the kicks, the slides, the character — all of it.

Other favorites were Mark and Lacey’s Quickstep — wow, he can really dance: that high jete in sync, that leapfrog over her head, the runs, the footwork. Very polished, and very athletic. I didn’t expect that from a chef…

I also liked Mya and Dmitry’s Jive. I think she is a natural. She did those turns like a pro

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DANCING WITH THE STARS SEASON 9 PREMIERE: THE WOMEN

Very excited to see Baz Luhrmann guest judge next week!

 

My favorites last night were Kelly Osbourne (and loved that her dad was on and that he became genuinely emotional over her splendid Viennese waltz! — as did her mum), Mya, and Macy Gray. What I really found endearing about Kelly was how blasted hard she obviously worked. She did not look so hot in practice sessions. And she was pretty down on herself. And then she came out there and did that gorgeous waltz with all that poise and polish and grace and watery fluidity. I almost cried for her — and I never watched her show!

I know, I know — overall, young swimsuit model Joanna Krupa was the best — her salsa alone showed that she’s rhythmic and used to moving her hips and, surprisingly her foxtrot showed she could be graceful and even delicate as well — but, I don’t know, I personally don’t find her as endearing as, say Macy. And Joanna’s full of confidence, which may not go down that well with the largely female voting public. I think she’ll be on for a while, but she may be the Sabrina Bryan of this season rather than the Brooke Burke.

I can’t help but love Macy’s ‘this is gonna be fun and I’m gonna work hard but I’m not getting caught up in all the competitive bullshit’ attitude. Love those facial expressions too! The judges were right on when they said she won the audience over with her magnetism. Not so good (I can’t bring myself to say ‘bad’!) as she was, I couldn’t take my eyes off her during that Viennese waltz. And I didn’t realize she was so tall — she’s got several inches on Jonathan Roberts!

I thought Mya was just so fluid in the Viennese waltz, and so killer in the cha cha. I disagree with whatever judge criticized the kick — I thought that kick was mad!

I like Debi Mazur a lot and she obviously isn’t a natural and doesn’t have training, but I want to see her improve. That’s what the show is about — working hard toward a goal and being able to do something you couldn’t before. I think she has the ability to improve. And she’s someone I can relate to and think others probably can too. So I really really hope she’s not the woman to go tonight. Bruno tells her she can’t dance but it doesn’t matter because she has great boobs. These kinds of comments are really not funny but clearly he’s not keen enough to realize that. Interesting how Maks covered Debi’s ears when he said that — I thought he was doing that to be funny but judging by the look on her face, it looked more that she was truly annoyed at Bruno and may haul off and sock him one.

I have to say Melissa Joan Hart didn’t leave much of an impression on me. I can’t really even remember her Viennese waltz to be honest. And I didn’t see her cha cha. Mark was kind of the star of that little routine šŸ™‚ Oh Mark — you’re a hopeless show-off and we will always love you for it…

Kathy Ireland (whom I would never have recognized!) was like Paulina Porizkova all over again. Same problem with the lack of groundedness in the salsa, the bouncing around. Bruno told her there was no “sex,” and without sex there is no salsa. So, according to him, since she didn’t get down on the ground and practically perform a sex act with Tony Dovolani, she didn’t actually salsa. She did much better with the foxtrot I thought, though the judges thought she did only marginally better.

I feel like I shouldn’t be too angry at Bruno or Len for their comments though. It seems the producers have told one to lust all over the women and make as many sex-laced comments as possible and the other to spend the season doing his best impersonation of Dana Carvey’s old SNL character, Grumpy Old Man (or whatever that character was called) and piss on and on about the way no one is adhering to basic ballroom.

I personally thought Dmitry’s Viennese waltz for Mya was choreographically the most engaging routine of the night. Louis van Amstel is a master choreographer too and he’s largely the reason Kelly shined as she did.

Who did I leave out?… Oh, Olympic swimmer Natalie Coughlin. Wow, beautiful arms — particularly in practice. The judges seemed to like her salsa, but I thought it had the same problem as most of the others — not grounded enough and too hop-py. I knew she was going to nail the Standard though — with those feathery arms! — and she did with the foxtrot.

I’m looking forward to tonight — particularly the Patrick Swayze tribute.

Photo of Louis van Amstel and Kelly Osbourne taken from Louis’s DWTS thread.