Modern Dance - - Page 14

February 11, 2007September 18, 2022

Death in Venice — the Ballet

Thursday night I went to see Death in Venice, performed by the Hamburg Ballet and choreographed by John Neumeier, at the Brooklyn Academy of Music. I loved it so much; it was really one of the most beautiful contemporary ballets I’ve seen. It was really just my thing: a ballet based on a modern, relatable, familiar story, told beautifully through movement. Based on the novella by Thomas Mann, its theme is the opposition between the intellectual and the sensual and the inner conflict that produces for the artist who must inhabit both worlds in order to create meaning from lived life. And of course underlying that theme is the implicit motif of societal repression and oppression of homosexual desire.

Funny, Sloan went to see it opening night, the night before me, and posted her thoughts in the Winger, which of course I read enthusiastically upon returning from BAM (because, badly, I often surf the net at midnight on a work night…). Was so excited I had to comment like a nutter on her post, leaving me with little to say now! What’s interesting to me though, is how dancers notice so many of the small details that make up the overall production and dance-going experience — subtleties I never would have seen– such as the sets, the lighting, the choreographer’s use of the stage, the music, the theater itself. I mostly notice only the dancers and how well I think they convey their roles. So, visit the Winger for all of those aforementioned interesting details, as well as some more lovely photos, and even a little tidbit on audience celebrities!

Anyway, I’d never seen this ballet before and when I received the flyer advertising it, I thought how in the world are they going to convey through dance a writer stifled by over-intellectualizing his work? Well, Neumeier does that by making his Aschenbach, Mann’s protagonist, into a choreographer. Lloyd Riggins compellingly depicts the tormented choreographer, while Tadzio is portrayed by this stunning Russian dancer named Edvin Revazov. I attended a pre-performance discussion between Neumeier and dance critic Anna Kisselgoff, and Neumeier related that he’d found the dancer at the Prix de Lausanne, a huge ballet competition in Switzerland. Apparently, Revazov did not do very well in the classical part of the competition, but then totally blew everyone away during the more modern improvisational portion. You could definitely tell in Revazov’s dancing that he excelled at modern. And one thing I loved about this ballet was that it incorporated both classical and modern, sometimes danced side by side, very dramatically, very beautifully. The beach scenes when Aschenbach first sees and becomes enamored with Tadzio were choreographed just beautifully, as were the pas de deux between those two men and the pas de trois between Aschenbach and other males — so gorgeously sensual. Revazov completely captivated me whenever he took the stage, and, gorgeous Russian man though he was, he captured the essense of the frivolous, playful, carefree 14-year-old to a tee. There’s also a scene where cholera grips the city, and the dancers’ jerky smasmodic movements were strikingly disconcerting. There were a few moments of corniness (the dancers wear these animal-skin prints during an orgiastic dream scene; I thought nude-colored clothing would have been more sensual, not to mention subtle, and later in the cholera scene, two agents of death are made up as Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley from the 70s rock band, KISS), but overall it was just so sublimely realized.

Funny, though — there are so many beautiful, beautiful men used the ballet, that I (and another blogger) kept imagining how ABT dancers would interpret it. I imagined Jose Carreno as Aschenbach and either David Hallberg (as if I really need to link to him 🙂 ) or Jared Matthews as Tadzio. Ahhhh, wishful thinking, as I’m sure ABT would probably find it too risky to touch, unfortunately. Come on, Kevin, take a chance, pleeeasse!!!

I also kept thinking I was seeing Evan McKie (of Stuttgart Ballet, and the Winger :)), as one of the dancers on whom Aschenbach was trying to choreograph at the beginning. But, alas, it was just the German connection … and my fanstasizing about someday being able to see him dance… 🙂 Reading his Winger posts (and eyeing his gorgeous pics), he sounds so fun, so goofily charming, and Stuttgart fascinating (I do think the Winger is not just bringing audiences closer to ballet, but sometimes creating stars itself!) Evan, btw, also happens to have the most brillant MySpace page I’ve ever seen 🙂

Anyway, I posted this too late and now Hamburg has left NY, so if you missed it, you’ll have to wait till they come around with it again … hopefully, hopefully in the not too distant future!

December 24, 2006

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Everyone!

Christmas card from client

This is a Christmas card I received from one of my clients in prison. He obviously spent a good portion of his inmate funds on this, and I found it so sweet when I received it Friday, I burst into tears. Anyway, I will share it with you all, to wish everyone a wonderful holiday. I have to say, Christmas sometimes really depresses me. I start thinking of everyone who is alone — my clients in prison, the homeless, the elderly, the mentally ill who have no one, orphans, etc. etc. etc. It’s just heart-breaking. Since I’m spending the holiday alone myself (though not ALONE alone; I expect to be receiving umpteenth phone calls from relatives 🙂 ), I contacted a local volunteer organization that sends people to soup kitchens and shelters, but they told me that, ironically, Christmas-time is just about the only time they are NOT lacking in help — just about any other time of the year they’d love me. I made a mental note to try to volunteer at some other point, if and when I’m ever not dancing or working!

Anyway, trying to keep sadness at bay and keep an upbeat attitude… this weekend I had another dance / theater marathon. Yesterday, I went to my last Alvin Ailey performance of the season, sadly. I saw some brilliant dancing and choreography, of course! The matinee’s ballets included The River, a gorgeously dreamy ballet choreographed by Ailey himself to Duke Ellington music, with all dancers dressed in light blue, which kind of reminded me of Clear or Drink to Me Only With Thine Eyes — beauty for beauty’s sake. And, I saw Pas De Duke for the first time, which was originally choreographed for Judith Jamison and Baryshnikov. I liked, but didn’t love it. Ailey called it a modern pas de deux (dance for two people), but there was hardly any partnering; it was mostly side by sides, with the dancers interacting a lot with each other emotionally, but not physically. I loved Dwana Adiaha Smallwood (probably the most famous current dancer in the company) in the female role — she was a badass! I can only imagine how Jamison must have performed the part! Then, Solo, by Hans van Manen, was next, a beautiful piece designed, despite its title, for three men, alternating between a pas de trois and each man dancing alone onstage. And the last was Love Stories, a very fun ballet choreographed in honor of Ailey by Jamison, Robert Battle and hip hop choreorapher Rennie Harris. It alternated between hip hop, disco-y jazz, and ballet, and had some absolutely spectacular lifts — man carrying woman over his head while circling the stage multiple times — and jumps — twice a woman jumped up on the chest of a man arching his back — crazy!

ailey dancers taking bow

I sat in the orchestra pit for this one! I don’t know why these seats are so cheap ($25) — they’re so close to the stage, you feel like you’re practically one with the dancers (a feeling that of course I savor!), and, unlike at the Met when you’re so near to the stage, at City Center you can still see the dances’ feet perfectly. Afterward, they held another post-performance panel discussion with some of the dancers, like last time.

ailey dancers at post discussion

This time we had two Frenchmen, Malik Le Nost and Willy Laury (in the glasses — one of my favorites, whom I always seem to see in the Sinner Man part of Revelations which is odd because they always say they alternate between all the roles; I recognize him partly by this cool tattoo that he has on his hip snaking down to his groin area, which is always peeking out from the top of his cinnamon red Sinner man pants 🙂 ), and I think the woman was Khilea Douglass (she was sitting on the far side from me, so I didn’t hear her name clearly or see her face). I really enjoy these discussions — I appreciate hearing the dancers talk about the work from their perspective.

Today, I went to see Spring Awakening, the new big thing on Broadway.

spring awakening

There were a lot of people out in NY for it being Christmas Eve day…! This Rent-like musical was recommended to me by my friend, Mark, who knew I liked Bill T. Jones, the show’s choreographer (hi Mark!) and I also saw a fellow Winger post about it on her website. I liked it, but I have to say it didn’t move me hugely on my first viewing. It’s something I may have to see again (when it comes down a bit in price!), but I did like the music, the singing was great, and the staging (which I assume was what Jones was responsible for, since there really wasn’t any dancing) was a lot of fun. I guess what I didn’t like was the basic story — it’s based on a German play from the 1890s — and wasn’t something I haven’t heard a zillion times before, so it definitely told me nothing new. And, it seemed a bit melodramatic and I couldn’t understand the motivations of some of the characters. I also wanted some real dancers for Jones to work with! Maybe I’ve just seen so much dance lately I expect everyone to go soaring through the air like an ABT or Alvin Ailey member. I’ve got so used to seeing abstract expressions of thought revealed through the sublime vehice of a near miraculous human body that I just didn’t want to hear any dialog! — which is VERY odd for me since I used to be so into dramas. But I guess I’ve never been a huge fan of musicals in the first place — the only one I think I’ve ever liked is the Cabaret of the Mendes / Cumming variety. But, everyone seems to love this musical, so I’m sure that whatever I didn’t see in it on first viewing is just me 🙂

Christmas dinner for the single girl!

So, this will be my single-girl-in-the-city Christmas dinner for tomorrow: an artisanal chicken pot pie made by Just Rugelach and bought at my local Sunday farmers’ market, fresh spinach with Olde Cape Cod honey mustard viniagarette currently on sale at my local Food Emporium, and Barefoot Sauvingon Blanc from Nancy’s Wines, preceded by my favorite appetizer of Greek taramosalata (red caviar mixed with pureed potatoes and other lovely ingredients) on Russian black bread, and for dessert, thick delicious (and immensely fatty) Southern Comfort Egg Nog, and some Haddington Farms chocolate-covered peanut caramel clusters sent by Mom 🙂 Yum!

Christmas reading

And, finally, here’s some of my Christmas reading! Two novels I’ve been hoping for time to sink my gums into — Home Land by Sam Lipsyte, which is a dark comedy in the style of Augusten Burroughs and consists of letters an alum writes to his alma mater on the eve of his high school reunion basically telling them how life DIDN’T pan out so hunky dory (just my type of thing 🙂 ), and the other, The Feast of Love by Charles Baxter, was recommended by Nick Hornby to his fans a long time ago, which I never got around to buying, but some nice person in my apartment building left this copy for me on top of the recycle bin! And these two lovely works of fiction sit here atop my stacks of trial transcripts for the next case I’ll be working on. I promised friends and family I WOULDN’T do any work work, but if I get antsy enough….

Anyway, happy holidays everyone!

December 21, 2006

Who Is YOUR Dancer Alter Ego?

Her Kind play

Last night I went to see this very interesting play / modern dance performance called Her Kind, about the life and poetry of Anne Sexton, recommended by Winger contributor Tony Schultz. The actress and playwright was Hannah Wolfe, who alternated fluidly between three different characters: the poet herself; Sexton’s sad but sweet daughter, Linda; and a rather comically nervous young professor trying to teach Sexton to a college class. I was more familiar with Sexton’s poetry than her life, other than the fact that she killed herself, like her friend, Sylvia Plath. Through a combination of recitations of Sexton’s poetry, video projections of interviews with her friends, monologues by Linda recounting anecdotes of life with her mother, and one of those fourth-wall-breaking ‘dialogues’ where Wolfe’s college teacher lectured us, her students, on the import of Sexton’s work, the performance taught me a great deal about Sexton in only a little over one hour. But what I found most fascinatingly unique about the show was modern dancer Laurel Dugan’s role. She ‘played’ the part of Sexton’s alter ego, Elizabeth, who was both a multiple personality of Sexton’s (she was arguably mentally ill) and served as a muse, figuring strongly in her poems. But instead of speaking, Dugan mainly interpreted Sexton’s words through dance. I’d never really seen dance as a direct expression of literature before, and, in a way, I felt like I got more out of watching a dancer interpret the poetry, read by Sexton herself via a tape-recording, through her body, than by listening to the actress use her voice to do the same. The whole conception was really brilliant, and Dugan was stunning.

Anyway, I had kind of a weirdly funny experience afterward. I suffered a bit of “professional identity confusion” when I got into a little disagreement with the woman sitting next to me, who was, it turned out, a former English teacher of Wolfe’s, and a writer herself. The woman immediately expressed dissatisfaction with the piece overall, saying it didn’t really work for her, and she thought she’d give suggestions to Hannah for improving it, since she was a former teacher of hers and all. “Oh really?” I said. “Well what I really loved about it was the dancer; I’ve never seen that kind of thing before and I was surprised that it brought so much more to the play than words could.”

“Oh,” she laughed. “No, that was exactly what I didn’t like!”

We both laughed at our disagreement, the way friendly, unantagonistic women do, then she asked me if I knew Hannah. It was a very small theater, and it seemed everyone who was there knew someone involved in the production. “No,” I said, “I’m here because it was recommended on the Winger, a dance website.”

“Oh, you’re a dancer,” she said, sounding somewhat embarrassed. “I should have known. Well, no no, don’t let my interpretation sway you at all. I’m sure I just feel the way I do because I’m a writer. I take Sexton very personally,” she laughed again.

“Oh, I’m a writer too,” I exclaimed. “I was an English major and I like Anne Sexton too.”

“Really?” she said sounding a little confused. “What do you write?”

“Oh well, I mean, I, I have a novel, but it’s not published. I mean, I don’t have anything published. Yet. I mean besides law review articles.” With this, her eyebrows shot straight up. “I mean, I’m a lawyer, but I’m also trying to start a writing career. And, um, I dance too. I mean I try.” Her eyes widened. Clearly I had multiple personalities just like Anne. “I mean, I just meant I understand what you mean about taking a writer you love personally, and um, I guess because I like dance too, I um…” I sounded like the biggest bumbling fool in the world. She just stared at me, while I tried, in vain, to figure myself out.

We talked a bit more and found that we both agreed that Wolfe had played the role too Sylvia Plath, and not Sexton enough: she was too much of a sweet schoolgirl (faux sweet schoolgirl of course, turned faux happy housewife) instead of sexy and deriving power partly from her attraction, and attractiveness, to men. What I didn’t think of to say to the English professor, what I didn’t think of until I was walking back to the subway, was that, while Wolfe didn’t really play the role Sexton-y enough, Dugan did just that with her more sensuous dance interpretation. Perhaps that was what the play was trying to say anyway: Anne the writer and woman held back, but her alter ego responsible for her creative spirit was completely unconstrained. And what better means to express this unrestrained spirit than through dance?

So maybe all writers, maybe all people, need dancer alter egos. Luis always used to tell me he thought I couldn’t let loose and do that crazy-ass mambo combo he choreographed for me because I was an upright (read: uptight) lawyer. So, he wanted me to think of myself as someone else while I was dancing. He suggested I even invent another name. Of course he came up with … Lolita. Luis!! Anyway, I have decided that I will take his advice. I just need a good name for her. Hmmm…

December 17, 2006

"Tappy Holidays" and More "Revelations"

Whew, another dance marathon weekend. Saturday afternoon, I went to see another Alvin Ailey performance. Top pic is of the dancers’ profiles, in the City Center lobby. This show was particularly special for two reasons. One was that it was one of the few “All Ailey” specials they’re doing this season, so they performed several excerpts from his ballets, some of which I’d never seen before. My favorites (besides “Revelations” of course, which they performed last, and which they almost always do each show) were: “Night Creature” — a jazzy tribute to Duke Ellington; “Opus McShann” — a gorgeous pas de deux performed by Olivia Bowman and Glenn Allen Sims (one of my favorite dancers with the company) and to music composed and performed by Jay McShann whom, I’m embarrassed to say, I don’t know; “For ‘Bird’ – With Love” — a fun theatrical piece that took place in a jazz club replete with ‘musicians,’ ‘singers,’ and ‘showgirls,’ and in tribute, obviously, to Charlie Parker (whom Sims, again, played / danced); and “Cry” — which I’d seen before, danced to disco music performed by The Voices of East Harlem and in celebration of “all Black women everywhere, especially our mothers.”

I think what I love so much about Ailey is that I completely recognize every move his dancers make — they’re so natural, so organic to the character and meaning of the ballet. With so much modern dance, I find the movements are so abstract that I can’t understand them, and the ‘story’ — whether it’s a linear narrative or not — is either nonexistent or just not accessible to me. With Ailey, I recognize everything his dancers do: the arabesques or battements (back and front kicks, basically), look like something someone who’s putting his heart and soul into playing his sax would naturally do. But they’re not just straight arabesques and battements as taught in classical ballet; they have a jazzy attitude. And, the hands in the air, palms facing upward, at the beginning of Revelations, look like worshippers searching for God, praying for salvation. It’s like he told his dancers to go out on the streets and into nightclubs and churches and watch people intensely, and then bring that to their dancing. The result is characters everyone immediately recognizes; stories that make sense to the viewer, while still taking him/her to a higher level with the beauty of classically-trained movement.

The second reason the matinee was special was that it was one of their “family days” which meant, apparently, that they gave discounts to families, so lots and lots, and LOTS of them showed up. Made for a somewhat noisy audience! But that aside, it was really nice to see very young people being exposed to dance.

At the end of the performance, some of the dancers hosted a Q & A with the audience. Guillermo Asca, Olivia Bowman, and Vernard Gilmore fielded audience queries ranging from what made them want to dance with Ailey (Gilmore said the first time he saw “Wade in the Water” from Revelations — my favorite piece from that ballet too! — he was a goner), how old they were when they began dancing (all were children), to how they kept the choreography — some of it rather old now — fresh and alive, and what they ate before performing. Okay, answers to that last one revealed to me that I cannot, no how no way, ever be a pro dancer! Bowman said she “juiced frequently” and sometimes had some yogurt too, but really just “juiced” a lot. Gilmore said he just went to some place called “Wh—” something or rather; some organic food store I’d never heard of and loaded up on — and here I swear he began speaking a foreign language. I heard wheat grass, but couldn’t understand anything else. This guy (on far right in the above pic) had a body to die for; had the most finely sculpted abs I have seen. What, pray tell, is wheat grass??? The moderator, whose name I forgot — I think she was Nasha Thomas-Schmitt, the arts-in-education director, who used to dance with the company, saved us from all feeling like a bunch of lard asses by claiming that she used to eat burgers and pasta before each performance. “Please, if I just drank juice before dancing ‘Cry’, I’d faint!” Definitely! Anyway, it was a lot of fun, and many little kids were the ones asking the questions, so it was cute. Afterwards, I saw Nasha and some other dancers in the lobby signing autographs and posing for pictures with the little ones.

Also, I saw this flier in the program. How sweet would it be to have an Alvin Ailey birthday party?! Almost makes me want to have kids…

Then, tonight, I went to see “Tappy Holidays,” a tap dance show celebrating the Christmas season that was recommended by Matt, whose sister, Carson Murphy, performed alongside such tap legends as Michelle Dorrance, Jason Samuels Smith and Jared Grimes. I thought Carson was so sweet — she danced really well and had a great stage presence; she seemed like she had some acting experience because I thought a lot of her facial and body expressions really helped to sell her dancing. Anyway, it’s been a very very long time since I’ve seen any tap dancing, and it was really just so amazing. I’d never seen Samuels Smith and Grimes before, and those two, they really just floored me. The way they moved, the speed, the attitude, and the complicated steps, the many turns, I just hadn’t realized tap dancing could be so brilliant. They were simply stunning.
Here’s a picture of Samuels Smith taking a bow:

And here are some other dancers in the cast: Carson is the one in the middle in black, and Michelle Dorrance is on the left, on the mike:

The event was extremely popular. It was general admission seating, and when I got to Symphony Space, half an hour early, the line was already around the block: (please forgive the reverse-order of these pics!). Passersby were all asking people in line what in the world was going to happen in there!

Tap and ballroom used to be so popular, in the era of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers at least. Perhaps since ballroom is enjoying a resurgence, tap will too?…

One last thought. I hope it is okay for me to say this. But all weekend, I couldn’t help thinking of my clients, that many of these amazingly brilliant dancers could have ended up like them. And yet they didn’t; and my clients did. Is it just a simple matter of “there for the grace of God go I” that some people end up becoming pimps and crack dealers and spend a good part of their lives behind bars, and some become great performers, or it there something more that can explain the difference? At the end of “Tappy Holidays,” they pulled down a movie screen and showed some pictures of the dancers as children. Jason Samuels Smith looked like he was bouncing right off the walls with energy as a little kid. He must have been a real handful for his mother, who I know is a great jazz dancer herself. Being introduced to dance at at young age (as he presumably was, by being blessed with parents in the business) must definitely have given him a creative outlet for all that energy, enabling him to use it in an extremely productive way, providing an invaluable service to humanity. I wonder if dance was introduced to more kids, before they had a chance to mess up their lives forever (because the consequences of one conviction, tragically, can last a lifetime), it could make a real difference in this society. How awesome for the Alvin Ailey company for seeking the answer.

December 3, 2006

Rocka My Soul!

Alvin Ailey performance at City Center

It’s Christmas time in the city! Which means, in addition to shopping till you drop … Alvin Ailey season! They opened last week, but I was still in North Carolina for their opening night gala, so today’s matinee was my first Ailey experience this season. And, as always, it was an amazing one. Above is the cast following Revelations — a ballet that for me, no choreographer will ever outdo. It will always be my favorite, will always bring tears to my eyes. And, really, you know you are a crazed, obsessed nutter of a dance fan when you are neither black nor have ever lived in the south, yet you know all of the words of the ‘negro spirituals’ sung to that ballet by heart, and can’t seem to help yourself from unconsciously singing along during the performance 🙂 … and you cannot then sit still and refrain from at least bopping your head all about during the last song, Rocka My Soul! Everyone was clapping along to that one, so my nuttiness wasn’t so noticeable 🙂 Clifton Brown is definitely my favorite (he’s from Arizona 🙂 ), and Matthew Rushing and Glenn Allen Sims (whom I’ve noticed before) both really impressed me as well this time in a lovely little pas de trois called “Solo” set to a staccato piece by Bach, and choreographed by the dutch choreographer Hans van Manen. Very playful but very lyrical and beautiful. I also saw for the first time Tharp’s The Golden Section, a very fast-paced piece much like The Upper Room, with some very difficult jumps and lifts — some jumps directly into a lift, and set to some great David Byrne music. The dancers got a standing ovation for that one, which they definitely deserved. And the final piece this afternoon was Witness, another of Ailey’s spiritual pieces. Renee Robinson gorgeously danced this solo, which was set in a church pew with a candlelit background. I’ll be seeing Revelations at least twice more this season, as well as Ailey’s other classics, and Pas de Duke, a piece that was originally choreographed for Baryshnikov and Judith Jamison and that is being revived, I think for the first time since then. Can’t wait!

After I left the theater, prompted by an H&M ad on the back of Time Out New York advertising a dress that looked very cute and very me and was discounted only today, I headed over to their store on Fifth Avenue. There, I found exactly what other bloggers have been talking about — the insanity of the New York Christmas crowds, which I hadn’t yet seen since returning from N.C.

Christmas crowds on Fifth Ave.

It was true madness. And many of the buildings are decorated. Here’s Cartier, wrapped with red ribbon, like a giant present:

Cartier building

Ugh. Glad I braved the crowd though, because, amazingly, the Fifth Ave. H&M actually had the dress in stock, which I bought 🙂
H&M sale dress

The one advertised was gold with a brown lacey overlay, but this one looked better with my coloring. Okay, it’s not Chanel, but hey, not bad for $24.90 right?

February 12, 2006

Uptown Women Have No Bodies

Very annoyed. Many of my friends and family are crazed Dancing With the Stars watchers. So, I figured Iâ€™d let them know about the PBS special Americaâ€™s Ballroom Challenge, a televised event that occurred at the Ohio Star Ball in November last year, in Columbus Ohio, which I attended and in which my teachers competed (and made the finals!). Anyway, the first half of it aired a few days ago. I asked everyone what they thought. One person exclaimed that obviously Dancing With the Stars must have unearthed the best-looking dancers and it was really hard to watch such homely people, even if their costumes were lovely. Another remarked that the beautiful ballroom gowns often conflicted with the dancersâ€™ not so beautiful faces. Another said she couldnâ€™t believe how fat most of the Latin dancers were and sheâ€™d never wear such a tiny costume. Another said she thought when the Latin dancers â€œsquozeâ€ their back muscles, the fat protruded, and she wouldnâ€™t do that so much if she was them. (Because Latin dancing isnâ€™t about really moving your body or anything…) I honestly have yet to hear one person tell me what they thought of the DANCING.

A few weeks ago, I attended a panel discussion on representations of the body in contemporary dance at the Dance Theater Workshop in Chelsea. All of the panelists, who were either choreographers or dance scholars, were total theory heads and I understood about a half of one percent of what they were saying. But one female scholar, was all too clear when she snidely remarked, â€œWell, up until recently dancers didn’t even have bodies, not to mention brains, and uptown they still don’t. Instead they have anorexia and bunions and nicotine addictions, since there’s no way you can remain 108 pounds without one.” Of course she was talking about ballet, and I donâ€™t think she was talking about Jose or Marcelo or Angel. It was hard not to laugh at the way she said it, but the comment stung since Iâ€™m such a ballet lover, not to mention a petite woman. I assume the audience was filled with modern dancers, DTW being a modern dance theater, and I felt like everyone was looking at me as the representative of bodiless, brainless, male-dominated women â€“ none of which I am just because Iâ€™m thin.

After thinking about it, I remembered that this scholar was tiny herself â€“ couldnâ€™t have possibly weighed over 108, if even that. And many of the critics of my fellow Latin dancers are large themselves. I guess itâ€™s a form of female self-criticism to be most harsh on other women who seem to embody the physical problems we find in ourselves. Still, it bothers me that a female dancerâ€™s worth seems to revolve around her body. It makes me feel like, whatâ€™s the point of working so hard on contracting and expanding my pelvis in Samba and my upper back and hips Rhumba if Iâ€™m just going to be the little spidery-limbed Balanchine girl.