Cronica de una Fuga

Wednesday night I was invited to a very early sneak preview of this amazing film. It depicts the true 1977 story of an Argentinian soccer player who was kidnapped and detained by the military government then in place for being part of a rebel group — charges of which he was completely innocent. It was very Solzhenitsyn, very scary. The beginning was confusing — I couldn’t tell what was going on, just that his family was being threatened, then that he was being captured and beaten by someone for something — and that something I never completely understood. At first, I found this confusion annoying, and couldn’t help comparing the movie to another favorite of mine, In the Name of the Father, starring Daniel Day Lewis. But that story was told from an omniscient point of view (it showed Gerry Conlon getting into petty trouble by the police, then the Belfast pub bombing, and then how the government officials were led, wrongly, to Conlon and his friends as the perpetrators, much of the action to the rhythmic beat of poppy U2 music… maybe it was told from the omniscient p.o.v. partly because of pressure to avoid being accused of IRA sympathy?…) But this film was far less Hollywood, more quiet, more real, and I soon realized, was meant to be told mainly from the main character’s perspective precisely so that we’d relate to him. He had no idea what was happening to him and why, and the audience experiences that bewilderment along with him. Full of disturbing but necessary violent images, it becomes an edge-of-your-seat thriller once the four prisoners we come to know the best plot their escape. It stars Rodrigo de la Serna, who played Alberto Granada in Motorcycle Diaries. Since he played the character opposite Che Guevara in that movie, attention wasn’t focused on him, but here you can really see what an amazingly talented actor he is. The whole film is extremely well acted. And it powerfully drove home how horrible, how frightening it is when it’s the government who’s organizing the terrorism; when there’s no accountability. I don’t want to give anything away, but it isn’t until the tail end of the movie, when you’re told, via text, the final outcome of the men’s lives years later, that you feel safe. As bored as I sometimes get practicing law, it reminded me that where there’s no judicial system, there’s no protection of human rights. It made me feel better — at least momentarily — about being a part of that system, even if I’m just a tiny cog in one wheel of a huge machine. During the focus group held after the viewing, which I participated in, the discussion leader asked what one word people would use to describe the film, and, amidst terms like “thriller,” “suspenseful,” and “intense,” a woman shouted out “relevant.” Totally. There definitely need to be more films like this — about ALL forms of government-endorsed torture.

Anyway, not to be facetious given the gravity of the film, but Rodrigo de la Serna is cute! And, funnily, I kept seeing male ABT principal dancers in the movie too. Horribly, the murderous power-hungry leader of the detention house kept reminding me of Marcelo, albeit ten years older and with a 70s Village People-esque moustache, and I kept seeing Herman Cornejo in the bravely insolent prisoner who sets the escape plan in motion… And, using another dance metaphor, as someone in the focus group remarked, the escape was really well choreographed. The men are all completely naked, since they’ve been stripped by their detainers, so the climbing down walls, swinging on ropes, sprinting down streets, etc. seems like it would have been difficult without exposing too much… yet it was really well done. And the cinematography was interesting too — I normally don’t notice things like that, but in the early scenes, where the men are blindfolded or beaten senseless, the director shot the captors and insides of the house at an angle, so you were cocking your head all about trying to make sense of what you were seeing, much like one of the prisoners. It was a gorgeous film; I don’t know how long it’s going to be until it comes out, because they usually don’t have the focus groups if the film is nearly done, but when it does open, GO SEE IT!!!

Speaking of movies: my friend Nicole found this article about the short film I’d posted about earlier that I’d seen at the Tribeca Film Festival. Made by this preternaturally sophisticated teenager, Kiri Davis, it’s entitled “A Girl Like Me,” and deals with young African American girls’ internalized self-hatred; the young filmmaker astutely performed the same doll test as Dr. Kenneth Clark that Thurgood Marshall used in the landmark anti-segregation case, Brown v. Board of Ed. I’m so glad to see she’s getting more exposure for her amazing film! Go Kiri!!!

Perhaps ABT dancers were on my mind when I saw Cronica because I just spent LOADS on my subscription to their fall City Center season. Ugh. But I did save 27% by buying my tickets all together (they give you a discount for a purchase of three or more performances), and so of course I used this savings to justify getting orchestra seats, where I find I can get the most out of the performance… They’re setting up at the theater now — there’s a huge poster of Marcelo lifting Julie outside 🙂 And more pics inside, in their lovely brochure: Herman looking very dapper in Twyla Tharp’s Sinatra Suite, David in The Green Table, the guys in Stanton Welch’s Clear, and absolutely gorgeous pictures by Fabrizio Ferri of the principals — I don’t think anyone has photographed them so well. Particularly David — he really brought out his strong Roman bone structure, delicate light skin and beautiful light blue eyes; and Jose — he shot him from below, so he looks all powerful, like the hunky badass NY actor Franky G., albeit half the size and likely possessing four times the strength 🙂 If Ferri wasn’t Alessandra‘s partner, I’d think he was gay. Not that a man (a male artist anyway) needs to be gay to appreciate male beauty but… Anyway, I’m very excited about ABT — will be a good thing to come back to after returning from my big ballroom / beach blast in Florida. As will — not to be goofy and I’m totally not a TV-head — Dancing With the Stars, starring Karina Karina Karina! Ooh, don’t they look adoooorable?!?

Saggy Butt is the First Symptom of Serious Ballet Withdraw

And I have it big time. I’d tried on my bikini for my Martha’s Vineyard trip in my home mirror, but only viewed myself from the front; didn’t look at my lovely derriere until I got out there. Yikes. Alyssa told me to shut up and wear it to the beach anyway, as she was wearing hers and was suffering from the same problem, except hers was induced by withdraw from 20+ mile marathon-running, power yogalates, gymnastics and hiking all over such places as Bolivia and Egypt. Alyssa is the consummate amateur athlete, making my dainty ballroom dancing look like cheesecake in comparison. Still, we both have injuries and actually reconnected after not seeing each other for many months then serendipitously meeting at a physical therapy center in SoHo. Except, being the far more serious athlete, her injury was a lot more severe: she tore her hamstring in eight different places whilst doing the splits drunk at her birthday party. But good thing that came out of it was hooking up with the ER doctor… I LOVE Alyssa; thanks to her I have an inkling of what it’s like to be a Sex and the City character 🙂 And I love her for gamely trekking out there with me mainly to see Marcelo Gomes‘s first ballet (and David Hallberg perform it) in Stiefel and Stars, even though she’s not a big ballet fan. Thanks for keeping me company and being adventurous, Alyssa 🙂

The ballet, “Loving,” was beautiful! So sweet and romantic. Someone likened it to Robbins’s “Other Dances” to which I guess it was similar, but with several couples. And, not to be silly, but something about it kind of reminded me of the courting scenes in Martins’s French pastoral “Songs of the Auvergne”- maybe just because the students danced the corps parts. It was urbane, but there was something sweetly innocent and very slightly bucolic. David and Gillian were lovely as the leads — David is always so charming in his dancing. It’s funny reading him on The Winger, where he is just a guy — smart, thoughtful, sophisticated for his age, and somewhat bookish, but just a guy with a guy view of the world, not this princely dancer seemingly from another time. And the costumes, which, according to David, Marcelo designed, were gorgeous! The women and girls wore light summery dresses with haltery tops and flowing, knee-length skirts; Gillian’s top was white — a different color from the rest, and it looked perfect on her. I definitely think he has a future as a choreographer (not to mention fashion designer…)

Alyssa fell completely in love with Ethan, who did nothing more than introduce the school and the program, and apologize for not being able to dance, as he just underwent surgery on both of his knees. Women always fall for that man! I just find it funny that he didn’t even dance and Alyssa, being a normal female, still went for him. I guess it shows that so much of being a performer is personality. I like my favorites for the same reason; I probably just don’t get the appeal of Ethan because he’s straight! (Seriously, my gaydar sucks. Or maybe it’s that I have excellent reverse-gaydar. I met James McGreevey briefly while doing a judicial clerkship in New Jersey and crushed on him so badly; I’m attracted to them before they even know they’re gay…)

Anyway, besides the ballet, we went to the beach, did a lot of touristy things like visit the red cliffs at Gay Head Bluffs and the gingerbread houses in Oak Bluffs, consumed loads of good wine and seafood (me: Pinot Noir — liked it even before Sideways, I swear!, steamed scallops in a bun, wasabi-coated soft-shell crab, and cornbread-crusted cod; Alyssa: Bordeaux and lobster, lobster, and more lobster!), went to several art galleries (Alyssa’s an art history grad student), ate ice cream at Mad Martha’s in Oak Bluffs which our tour guide said is a favorite of Bill and Hillary, and did A LOT of shopping (I bought: a shiny fuscia purse; a tiny ruffly white top to go with this pink and white Betsey Johnson skirt I’ve long been trying to match; two books — one by Styron who once lived on MV about his depression, and one on being an artist by Anna Deveare Smith — at a bookstore owned by this fun, interesting woman who writes about ghost stories and gossip on Oak Bluffs and who’ll be writing a piece on the ballet in the upcoming Martha’s Vineyard Gazette which I will definitely keep my eyes open for; and two photographs, a sketch, and a print at two different galleries. Alyssa bought some wampun jewelry — made from the purplish coloring found inside the shells of clams native to the area, a sweater, an aromatic tea set for her godmother, and three books — one on African art, which is her area of specialization, and two by the writer / bookstore owner.) Here are some pictures of the trip.

Now we are back in NYC and I’m very nervous about all the work I have to do (basically research and write two briefs) before I head down to Florida for the US DanceSport nationals a week from tomorrow. We got back later last night than expected and I was very tired for my lesson tonight with Luis. He could tell, so instead of practicing lifts that could be dangerous when half asleep, he spent a lot of time talking over the choreography and brainstorming about my costume (I wanted a cute ruffly skirt and peasant top; he was thinking more hot pants with red fringe and basically no top — he’s got another thing coming; I don’t do skimpy tops ever but especially not with upside-down lifts…), and hair (he wants me to get extensions for fullness and for me to wear my hair in curlers all night the night before and all day the day of the performance (which is going to go over really well at work, especially if I get any surprise visits from clients’ families…). Ugh. AND, he decided to make some changes to the choreography — after listening to the music again, he felt one of the lifts should go in another spot than where it was. Which sent me into a frenzy. Apparently, he still does not realize that I’M A TOTAL AMATEUR and making any changes to the choreography a mere six weeks before the performance is nothing short of hysteria inducing. I’ve noticed that when I’m not dancing regularly, I get really nervous about my private lessons. It takes me forever to learn choreography, I’m scared of new things (like overhead lifts and dips where I have to support my own weight), and I just can’t move well (he tried to teach me how to shake my knees so fast that my whole body vibrates, and I could not for the life of me do it — it involves simply bending and straightening your knees, albeit at lightening speed…). Well, my hips and left knee are still a bit achy (from the tendonitis and slight meniscus tear, respectively) and my adductor muscle is still sore, but if I’m going to be donning tight ass pants and not have a nervous breakdown over minor changes in my routine, I’m definitely gonna need to go back to Steps

Hooray for Benji, Hooray for Marcelo, Hooray for Karina, and Hooray for Dance Fans Who Need Cool Dance Wear!!!

First, congrats congrats CONGRATS to Benji Schwimmer who, as most know on Wednesday night, was named “America’s Favorite Dancer” on the ever-so-popular TV show “So You Think You Can Dance”! Here is a picture I took of him being declared winner on my sucky, cable-less TV set. Thank you to Benji (and Heidi) for officially putting West Coast Swing on the dance map!!! I don’t know Benji personally, but he seems like such a sweet guy, very genuine, very caring, not to mention a very versatile, charming dancer who showed that not only could excel at ballroom but could do everything from Fosse to hip hop too. I don’t know how to judge dance technique, especially when there are dancers from so many different styles all competing together, and people accuse the show of simply being a popularity contest, which in some ways it is. But I think the bottom line with being a performer in general is that, while it goes without saying you have to be able to dance extremely well, your personality also has to show through — that’s what audiences will latch onto. And those with the most personality, who know how to put on the best, most mesmerizing performance, will go the farthest.

This coming Thursday, Marcelo Gomes!, the great Brazilian ABT principal whom I’ve long been obsessing over (smiley face), is having the world premier of his very first choreographic venture out on Martha’s Vineyard as part of the annual performance by Stiefel and Stars / Stiefel and Students, run by ABT principal Ethan Steifel. David Hallberg, whom I’ve recently begun obsessing over (another smiley face), new ABT principal and Winger contributor, is dancing the lead along with Gillian Murphy; Stiefel’s summer students are dancing the corps. I managed to convince one of my friends, Alyssa, to make the trek out there with me to see it, and I’m so excited! I am always up for a nice ferry ride and am packing my Dramamine now! Into my Vera Bradley tote of course, ha ha, an essential for any travel to the Cape 🙂 This is my first time on Martha’s Vineyard, though I’ve been to neighboring Nantucket before, and damn is MV expensive! B&B accommodations are the price of a four-star hotel in other parts of the country! And many of these B&Bs advertise oh so important amenities such as Ralph Lauren bedsheets — ha ha! A real selling point for me! It’s interesting to me, by the way, how B&Bs in different areas sell themselves. The ones in Blackpool advertise quiet locale with single sex rooms, catering only to people over 50, etc.; the inns in MV advertise designer bedding. I think someday someone should do a study of what B&Bs say about the local culture they serve…

I am also excited about my upcoming trip to Hollywood, Florida, during Labor Day week (Sept. 5-10), to attend the U.S. National DanceSport Championships, the most prestigious ballroom comp in the country. Unfortunately, the event is held at the swanky hence exorbitant Westin Inn Resort and Spa, and blasted Trump has just bought the only affordable accommodation in the area, so this trip is going to be a big expense for me. Plus, the event admission fees in the U.S. are huge — much more than in Blackpool anyway. Yikes. Even when I’m only watching and not competing myself, this hobby is slowly draining me! And, all the stress of flying right now is not helping, to make a massive understatement. I’m one of those who’s been a VERY anxious flier since 9/11; then as now, I work two blocks from where everything happened (everything that happened in NY, that is). Plus, I always carry several bottles of water and fruit juice on board so I can take last-minute sinus and relaxation meds, “pop” my ears, and prevent dehydration which would, I fear, launch me into a horrid headache episode. It looks like that’s going to be a problem now; fortunately my flight is only 3 hours long. I booked on JetBlue, which I’ve never taken before, figuring that’d make it part of a new adventure for me. (And, because of its extensive , stress-relieving on-board entertainment system, my fellow post-9/11 anxiety-ridden office-mate, Michelle, recommended it.) I have to say, one great thing about dance is that it got me on a plane again after the attacks. My first time flying post 9/11 was last year’s trip to Billy Fajardo’s Hustle and Salsa comp in Miami. (Before that, I was taking only destination-limited and ridiculously expensive cruises and train rides… so yay for dance!). Anyway, regardless of expense and travel stress, this is my first time at this huge comp and I’m excited about that, excited about soaking up some sun on the Westin’s ritzy private beach, getting orthopedist-recommended dancer cross-training by swimming laps in their big outdoor pool, possibly even getting a good head and upper back massage for my headaches depending on the spa’s price, and enjoying good wine, food and Art Deco architecture in fun South Beach. Oh, and of course watching the greatest in the country compete for the U.S. title!

Also, I’m very excited because, according to their website, my favorite Latin goddess, Karina Smirnoff, is going to be joining Dancing With the Stars for the upcoming season! I know a lot of professionals dislike her, supposedly because she has a real ego and is not the nicest person, but I surmise it may possibly be chalked up to jealousy, since she gets a lot of attention. (She had a speaking part on Shall We Dance, and in Blackpool, her face was all over dance CD covers, posters, you name it.) Still, I think, artistically, she is the greatest Latin dancer in the world today, and I love watching her. I guess the show, being another “popularity contest,” will enable us to witness her personality for ourselves, right!

I also want to bring attention to The Winger’s message board. It’s a place where dance lovers can post messages about upcoming events, critical reviews, etc., and just talk to each other about their love of dance. It’s a lot of fun! Unlike Ballet Talk and some of the other message boards, it’s open to all kinds of dance and, unless you get really out of line, the moderators don’t restrict you in what you say. And, when you set up your profile, you can attach a picture of yourself (so that every time you post, your photo pops up, so you can feel like a real op-ed commentator, like Maureen Dowd or somebody!) or, you can select one of the many “avatars” Kristin has downloaded, to represent who you are. If you haven’t already, definitely check it out! Additionally, The Winger is now selling its own line of t-shirts and other dance accessories. The designs are very cool, we all need dance / yoga/ just hanging-out clothes, and it’s a lot more fun to wear something unique than sporting the typical Danksin / Capezio / Bloch lines. Plus, one message board member has said you can make your own design on the site. I’m definitely ordering at least one!

Finally, I have been caring for my little upstairs neighbor, Jones, while his mother is away visiting her boyfriend in Scotland. It’s been almost a year since my dear little Najma passed, and I am still missing her immensely. My allergist wants me to refrain from getting another kitty for a while to see if my allergies improve, which so far, I haven’t seen a change. So, it’s a great pleasure for me to kitty-sit! Here are some pictures of Jones and me!

I May Be a Man…

I had my first dance lesson last night since my headache episode! I’m still a tiny bit hazy from the whole ordeal, but I’m so so SO glad to be dancing again! And, since one of the group classes was cancelled, one of the many former ballet dancers at my studio who’s training to teach ballroom was free to help teach me how to do my dream trick: the hands-free fish. A picture of real dancers (ie: Marcelo Gomes! and Gillian Murphy from ABT) is here. Oooh, but it’s soooooooooooo unimaginably hard! I couldn’t do it, try as I did. Your back needs to be so incredibly strong. It makes me realize how tough ballerinas are; elegant and graceful as they seem, their backs and legs are made of steel! I need to hook my leg around Luis’s back and hold myself onto him with that leg only. If I let my back collapse, I will fall to the floor. And it doesn’t look like it from the picture or when you see people perform it, but it’s so hard to keep your back arched and not collapse it. The ballet dancer gave me some serious exercises to do, mainly where I lie on the floor on my stomach and arch my back up to the waist as high as I possibly can, and hold and hold and hold and frigging hold. Ugh, it hurts! But I wanna be able to do this so so bad, it’s worth all the work! Happily, I’ve been able to sell Luis on it; he thinks it would be so cool to end the Latin routine with it. Consummate Latin dancer though he is, he’s been really receptive to much of my ballet-y suggestions — Luis’s great!

Tomorrow, I have an appointment with my regular primary care doctor to discuss my headache episode (see last post). The doctor on call phoned yesterday to tell me the sinus x-ray was normal. So there was no sinus infection, which scares me because that means it was neurological, as he said. I did some internet research today, and from what I’ve read, I truly think it was a kind of cluster headache, which is an extremely rare neurological condition, even more rare in women (at least 70% of sufferers are men). But migraine descriptions just don’t describe my pain very well. With migraines, you have pulsing pain on one side of your face, no necessary sinus connection, and you want to lie down and try to sleep it out. With mine, and clusters in general, the pain is sharp sharp sharp, boring, drilling into your skull, exruciating, searing, honestly even suicide-inducing, making the sufferer want to scream out in pain or even knock his or her head against a wall. One sufferer whose account I read described it as having surgery without anathesia, which is precisely how I felt, and hence was why I was begging the doctor, who laughed at me, for an emergency morphine injection. And your eye on the side of the face where your pain is located is watery and red, and you have sinus congestion on that side as well; not so with migraine.

Most interestingly, you absolutely positively cannot lie down with a cluster or the pain is even more excruciating; instead sufferers pace the room, walk, run, must remain active at all times, which is exactly how I was, to the confusion of one friend who commented that I “take pain like a man” — ie: actively jumping around, not passively lying on the couch. That characterization made some sense to me, but it wasn’t like I was trying to act like a man. When I read about cluster headaches (hereinafter “CH”), and realized they described my pain more precisely than migraine, and read that men are overwhelmingly the sufferers of such head pain, I realized I was possibly handling my pain “like a man” because I had a predominately male headache. The only part of the description that doesn’t fit me is that mine was one long, 4 1/2 day headache, whereas CH’s are typically 1/2 to 3 hours in duration coming and going throughout the day for a period of weeks. I found this amazing CH support group website and almost cried when I read some of the accounts. I know this is badly anti-feminist of me, but when I first read that most sufferers were men, I immediately thought, oh my gosh, I can’t imagine a man going through this. Last week I was literally walking the streets of Manhattan screaming and bawling out in pain, with cab drivers, store clerks, pharmacists, even a group of police officers in a deli where I went to buy ice taking pity on me, trying to hold my hand, helping me get to where I wanted to go. Not to mention all of my friends and co-workers… But in our society, which stigmatizes any male showing of pain or emotion, it seems a man would have to try to hide his pain, would never be able to act like this, or would surely scare people. Sure enough, some of the accounts on the support group website talk about running to the basement to pace, bang heads against the wall and cry and scream out, desperately not wanting wives and children to witness such a state of helplessness. Other men likewise talked of “not feeling like a man,” being humiliated, feeling out of control, etc. So much worse to have to deal with these societally-based feelings on top of this horrendous, horrific pain. And, in my New York example, especially with the police or even begging the doctor for injectible narcotics, so much the worse if the man is minority — he may automatically be suspected of being an addict or criminal… Ugh, so nasty on so many different levels…

Anyway, I’m gonna talk to my doctor about it all tomorrow, and ask her to consider sending me to a headache specialist instead of my same neurologist. Even if I end up with a diagnosis other than CH, I feel like I’ve learned about another sad world through all of this. Bottom line: if you know people who suffer from chronic headaches, of whatever type, please offer all the love and support you can, and please don’t dismiss them!!

HOT HOT HOT!

I really thought there was going to be another blackout today in NY. I got on the 3 train about 9:25 a.m. just to stand, gripping the pole, and stand, and stand, and stand, before being told there was a loss of power and thus no local or express trains running on the 7th Ave. line. This news resulted in a mass exodus to the 8th Ave. line where several thousand profusely sweating, hysterically rushing, immensely frustrated people tried to pile into the first car of a C train, just so the train could sit and sit and sit in the station. About 15 minutes later, we were told there was a medical emergency and the train would be held indefinitely. I jumped out, landed a seat on a platform bench, and, deciding to screw being worried over being late to work, pulled out my Chris Anderson book — about which I will say more in a sec. When I finally boarded the next C train nearly an hour later, I honestly wondered if I should get right back off of it, thinking on such a hot day with one power-outage already underway, I may well find myself walking the 8 or so miles from the financial district to my apartment later today, which I did three years ago in brand new, un-broken-in shoes — not very pleasant. I had comfortable shoes on today, but have noticed the past few days a pain now in my left knee, in the exact location where I’d felt pain on my right knee when I was diagnosed with a meniscus tear. I haven’t been dancing a lot the past few weeks and after beginning to sense a jello-y presence accumulating on my lower butt, started myself on a regimen of demi and grand plies, days before I noticed the pain. Can I please bend my knee without injuring myself, for crying out loud!?!? Anyway, it wasn’t nearly so hot three years ago either. Today, it almost hit the 100 degree mark — was probably over that with the humidity. By the time I got to work, two hours after I began my normally 40 minute commute, I was dripping with sweat, and, being from Phoenix, where it’s often at least 110 degrees in the summer, I really don’t sweat on the east coast. I can’t imagine how hot a normal person must have been. If there would’ve been another blackout, there may well have been several heat strokes. We really really really have to do something, as a society, about global warming…

Anyway, I am horribly sad that the ABT has now ended its summer Met season, and am suffering from ridiculously serious separation anxiety. Therefore, I have posted on the photo page some of my favorite curtain-call moments featuring their incredible, world-class cast (because, with a company populated by such “characters,” rarely does the fall of the curtain signal the end of the show:):):). In particular, I find that I’ve developed a stupid little bad crush on baby principal David Hallberg. He’s such a little cutie — in addition to being a charming dancer with a very mature for his age, very regal stage presence, his entries in Kristin Sloan’s brilliant and ADDICTIVE blog, The Winger, are so well thought-out, and he’s quite sophisticated and cerebral, especially for a 24-year-old. Funny, since I’m first and foremost a writer and reader, I tend to develop crushes on dancers not through their dancing but either their books, or their interviews in magazines and books (e.g. Marcelo!) or, now, in their blog posts 🙂 I also think part of my ABT-detachment issues are stemming from the fact that now I really have to focus on my own dancing since I no longer have my favorites to watch and since my showcase is coming up in just a few months!!! Needless to say, it’s a lot easier to watch someone else perform (especially if that someone is the best in the world…) than deal with my own dance problems!

While not dancing a lot lately, I’ve started reading this book called The Long Tail. Normally, I don’t read a lot of non-fiction but Kristin (see how addicted I am???) posted about attending author Chris Anderson’s book signing party and when I read her link to his intriguingly original book-in-progress blog, then that same day received an email from Borders offering me, as a rewards member, a 30% discount on that very book, have had my nose in it for the past several nights now. His thesis is that the internet has fundamentally changed the laws of supply and demand so that instead of only a few big commercial, mainstream “hits” reaching and thus dominating the public mind, consumers are discovering smaller, alternative “niche” products. Online stores like Amazon and Netflix are realizing that while each “niche” product in and of itself doesn’t sell as well as one “hit,” taken together the “niche” products consistitute a market far greater than the “hit” market — a market the online stores, without the overhead costs of actual stores, are exploiting. This is great news for first-time or avant-garde book authors or filmmakers whose sales potential publishers and production companies find risky because, with online companies selling more non-mainstream products, we actually have a fighting chance of our good actually making it to the consumer:) But I wonder what it means for dance. Online advertising (e.g. Google) has opened up to smaller niche advertisers in the same way as online stores, Anderson argues. So alternative choreographers and small dance companies can better sell themeselves to the public. But dancers make relatively low salaries for the same reason stage actors do, and while a live performance (of which there is no equal of course) costs many many times what a taped one does and a tape has the potential, with the internet, of taking in many times that of a live show, I wonder if DVD is the future of dance. While nothing beats a live performance, I have many dance videos that I treasure and watch over and over again. While Nureyev directed filmed versions of himself and his company dancing, he proclaimed that he was a much better stage performer, as are many of today’s great performers with through-the-roof charisma, like Angel Corella. But, being too young to have ever seen him perform, those taped versions of Nureyev are the only way I “know” him, and, from viewing those tapes, he has become my favorite ever dancer. So, is it so bad if lots of people have access to dance solely on tape? Hmmm, it’s interesting to ponder. I have to finish the book though!

Very excited because I sent off for my Blackpool seat tickets today! True, the dance festival doesn’t happen until end of May 2007, but the cut-off deadline for seat ticket orders (standing room only tickets are available until about a couple of weeks before the event) must reach their England office by July 28th. So, if you think you’re gonna go, and you want to be guaranteed a seat, go to their website, download an order form, and fax or fed-ex it right away!

Male Ballerinas, Bad Non-Brazil-Rooting Ballroom Dancers, and Social Issues at the ABT

My pics from the Manhattan DanceSport Championships are now up on the photo page. It was a lot of fun — I always like this comp because, being in Brooklyn Heights, it’s in an area easily accessible by public transportation and near courthouse-area parks and Montague Street eateries, and, since it’s local, I end up knowing lots of people and reconnecting with old dance friends. Expectedly, Jonathan Wilkins and Katusha Demidova won the Standard, Tony Dovolani and Elena Grinenko the American Rhythm, and one of my favorite couples — Maxim Kozhevnikov and Yulia Zagorouitchenko won the Latin (current US champs Andrei Gavriline and Elena Kruychkova didn’t compete for some reason; I didn’t see the American Smooth comp). The only grumble I had was, on Saturday the 3rd, after finishing watching my friend compete in Pro/Am Standard, I ran to the hotel bar to catch the second half of the World Cup game only to see, horribly, Brazil lose. And all of the crazed Standard dancers watching with me cheered wildly when France won??? Ugh, evil Standard people! That never would have been the case had the Latin comps been underway at the time! Actually, it well could have been the same. Almost all ballroom dancers, Standard and Latin both, are European and likely root for European teams. Plus, I think I am the only person who actually takes an interest in the culture from which these dances emerge. . .

Anyway, backtracking a bit, I went to the ballet (ABT) on Friday night to see Marcelo! and Julie perfom Swan Lake. The ballet is not one of my favorites, but Marcelo! is. This year marks Julie’s, I think 20th anniversary with the company, and during curtain call, Marcelo! did a Nureyev and bowed down to her, and on one knee, took her hand and dramatically kissed it:):):) Of course Fonteyn scolded the boy Rudik, telling him it made her feel like an old lady. Julie seems too sweetly down-to-earth to say the same though. Earlier, when Marcelo! came out alone, someone tossed a bouquet onstage, and he caught it mid-air with one hand, just like a football (American football of course). Gia Kourlas of TONY said of Julio, after removing his ballet shoes and placing them atop Giselle’s grave during his last ever performance of that ballet a week ago, “Bocca may not be a ballerina but he certainly knows how to act like one.” Well, Julio was Marcelo!’s little-boy role model so… Although I think Marcelo!’s a much more interesting ballerina — a big, brawny, 20-foot-high leaping, football-catching, leading-lady-worshipping one! Marcelo!’s inner ballerina rocks!!

On a more serious note, included in the ABT’s Playbill this month was a survey form that they asked be filled out and deposited in a box in the opera house or mailed in. The survey consisted of interesting questions such as which are your favorite full-length ballets and what do you like about them, and who are your favorite choreographers, both contemporary and classical, and why. It made me think, and I started to answer. Then, at the bottom of the form, it asked for the survey-taker’s salary. It listed many ranges, but extremely specific ones, starting from ‘under $50,000’ and going up in less than $10,000 increments, ending at ‘above $175,000’. I found this interesting. I’ve definitely seen surveys asking for the person’s general income-level, but in $50,000 increments, so the testers basically wanted to know who their demographic was. But this form was too specific for that, they seemed to want to know your exact salary, as if the degree to which they intended to take into account my choice of ballets and choreographers was based on what level of patronage I could give them. First, I think that’s rude to be so obvious, and second, don’t they know that the wealthiest people in New York are living off of trust funds and don’t even have salaries? They would have been better served asking what’s in people’s bank accounts or investment portfolios. I don’t even really like most of the ballets they put on; I come for the dancers. They nicely offered first-time subscribers discounted orchestra tickets, so I’ve been sitting either in the orchestra, for performances that are either part of my subscription plan or for matinees which are less expensive, otherwise in the balcony. Friday night was almost sold out, and they only had family circle tickets left, so I sat up there. And I realized that, unless you’re in the first couple of rows in the orchestra, you can see almost the same from the family circle as you can from anywhere else. I also encountered lots of interesting people up there — there were several giggly teenaged girls who were obviously dance students and would burst out laughing whenever the dancers did something impossibly great. I honestly felt like I learned something just listening to them. Next to me was a large, burly construction-worker-type who resembled Herb Ritts’ Vladimir without his makeup on, sitting, interestingly, alone, and, judging by his howls during the curtain call, was a fellow Marcelo! fan. And behind me were several elderly couples watching with mesmerized looks on their faces, as well as a young mother trying to explain to her two little daughters the beauty of the ballet. I honestly found family circle patrons a much more interesting bunch than the people who sit in orchestra and, although I understand a large ballet company’s need for financial support, family circle patrons’ interests should not be taken lightly! Anyway, whatever bad taste ABT’s management left in my mouth, happily, my fellow family-circle spectators and Marcelo! cured 🙂

What Is the Point of Building a World Trade Center Memorial…

if it, along with all of lower Manhattan, San Francisco, and about three-quarters of Florida in this country alone, are soon going to be underwater, if Greenland and western Antartica continue to melt at their current rate? A favorite dance blogger of mine first recommended this film, then a fellow alum, director Davis Guggenheim, sent around a heartfelt email discussing his motivations for making it, and I just had to go. I had no idea how urgent the threat of global warming was until I saw An Inconvenient Truth this weekend. Al Gore presents the issue in a very clear way with lots of pictorials and graphics, and even a little humor, to make it interesting. Everyone should see it regardless of political affiliation. So compelling — really, terrorism is far from the only thing we have to fear…

I just finished transferring to video the tape I made on my camcorder last Monday of Luis and me dancing the choreography he’s done so far for our routine. Video recorders are an absolute must-have for dance students wishing to perform. Professional dancers can easily remember their choreography, but for a beginner, there is no other way to memorize than to videotape it. I tried writing it all down with my first teacher, Kelvin, and, when I showed him my notebook, he burst out laughing, “these are damn lawyer notes; I have no idea what they mean!” I had no dance vocabulary and just described in excruciating, and hence meaningless, detail every single movement. So found out the hard way writing is absolutely no use to a dancer, who is by trade visually- not verbally-oriented. A camcorder is the only way to go. And even at that it’s so hard for me to memorize. I wish so much I’d never quit dance as a child!!!!!

I normally don’t see the same ballet twice during the same season, but Friday I saw ABT‘s Cinderella again to see David Hallberg dance the role of Prince Charming, so I could compare him to his dressing-room roommate, Marcelo! (whose name I must follow with an !) My favorites are Jose, Alessandra, and Marcelo!, and I normally try to get tickets when one of them is performing, but David‘s contributions to my favorite dancer blog made me interested in seeing him too. And I’m very glad I did: he made a very dashing prince — and it’s interesting to see two different dancers interpret the same role. David‘s slightly smaller so kind of gets around the stage more quickly and does really amazing jumps, and his lifts with Gillian looked completely effortless. But Marcelo! is so big and it’s so romantic to see him envelope little Julie in his arms… And he has such a wonderful appreciation for women (as he expresses in many a good interview) — it really shows in his beautiful partnering 🙂
Tony’s are on, gotta go…

Blackpool Pics Up!

I’ve now posted many of my pictures from Blackpool on the photo page. I’m a Latin girl, so most of them are of the Latin comps. Plus, the Brits take their Standard VERY seriously and I couldn’t find a good, ground floor seat for basically any part of the pro Standard comp, so my photos of Standard are from the balcony. Unfortunately, I stupidly forgot to set my camera to PC mode for the first day, so my pictures from the beginning of the festival are going to have to be Photoshopped down in size and may take a while to post — those photos were mainly of the team match. Each of the four teams — Italy, Japan, the U.S., and the U.K. preceded their dancing with these cheesy little playletts. Italy did a futuristic vignette, I forgot what Japan did, and the U.K. had the team ride out onto the dance floor in a double-decker bus driven by a drunk driver in his underpants. Apparently, there must have been something in the tabloids recently about a drunk bus driver in his underwear because the crowd went wild over this. And we did this corny but fun Disneyland theme where all of the dancers dressed as various Disney characters. Andrei Gavriline played Donald Duck. And then the team captains played George Bush and Dick Cheney; once Cheney saw Donald he whipped out a rifle and began chasing him around stage, and of course when he took a shot he missed Andrei and got the president. So that’s what is missing from my first day pics — the U.S. national Latin champion waddling around stage in a giant duck costume.

So, highlights from the last day were definitely the Underdogs of Standard, and hence my favorites since I am an underdog-rooting sort of person: the U.S. couple Victor Fung and Anna Mikhed. Anna wore this very sweet green dress with a black cape and matching hat. It was truly original, very 1920s and very sweet. She was the queen of class in that dress! They’re such a charismatic couple to me — I know nothing about Standard so can’t judge anyone’s actual dancing, but I just can’t take my eyes off them when they are on the floor. They made it to the semi-finals. And Jonathan and Katusha from the U.S. (U.S. national Standard champs), placed third. Katusha wore two beautiful gowns — a gorgeous white one for the first several rounds, and a sleek black for the finals. (How expensive it must be to be a female Standard dancer — yikes!) I was somewhat disappointed because my second favorite Standard dance is Viennese waltz and they didn’t have it in this competition — the dancers competed only in the other four. Why is that — why no Viennese waltz in Blackpool??? My second favorite is Quickstep and it was worth it to watch the whole comp just for that — the way the big beautiful ballgowns bounce around the floor is such an amazing sight. Timonthy Hawkins and Joanna Bolton from the U.K, in my opinion, have the best Quickstep (they placed 2nd overall, but I think 1st in Quickstep) and they do this really fun step that I think he called a slide, which is a kind of combination jump and skid that precedes a run. It looks like so much fun, but so hard because you both have to jump the same distance and at exactly the same time and you’re in such a close embrace, you really have to move as one or you’re going to go down. And he always gets this excited English schoolboy look on his face when he does that step — so cute!

Also on the last day was the Latin formation team competition, which one of the two Chinese teams won. They did a lot of lifts and complicated tricks, which I know from being on a swing team myself, even just doing easy things is hard when you have to have everyone moving in exactly the same way at precisely the same time — particularly hard for partner-dancing — for it to look decent. Still, as amazing as such precision was, this competition didn’t do much for me. I think I’d seen so much incredible Latin body movement to be impressed with people just dancing in unison. And I was getting really tired toward the end. I don’t think I could have walked into that Winter Garden one more day!

My flight out of Manchester was delayed on Saturday, and I didn’t get in until Saturday evening. And then I had a ticket to the ABT, which of course I couldn’t miss because Marcelo was dancing! Even being half asleep from basically not sleeping for 8 days and then being jet-lagged on top of it, I loved their new version of Cinderella. It was great fun — Erica Cornejo was a riot as the dorky stepsister. She had a funny part to begin with, but she took it to the extreme and it was really her show. It’s seriously worth it to see this ballet if just for her! And Carmen Corella was the other, wannabe seductress but sweetly goofy stepsister. She was very good too. I think she’s really so beautiful. Her face is so interesting and she has the ideal female dancer body. And of course Marcelo is the perfect prince 🙂 The ABT spoiled first-time subscribers by letting us sit in the orchestra for relatively cheap — so I felt like they were all dancing right in front of me!

Anyway, tonight I have my lesson with Luis, and am so tired. And, I am just now realizing I didn’t think at all about overcoming my fears of doing overhead lifts during Blackpool, like I was supposed to have done. Ugh. Not that we’re going to be doing any such thing right now though because, on top of not having stretched for over a week (on my first day in Blackpool, I tried to use the top of the dresser in the B&B as a barre and almost broke it — oops!), I have definitely definitely gained from all of those English breakfasts and Cadbury bars!

Greetings From Coney Island, U.K. II

Broke down and exchanged $40 more for pounds, so I have more money to spend at the trendy little internet cafe, which also serves delectable mochas, coincidentally. I have lots more time to kill as well since the last comp of the festival — the Pro Standard — doesn’t begin until 4 p.m. and I’ve thoroughly roamed — and bought out — all of the festival merchandise stands.

Last night was the pro Invitational Exhibitions comp, which, strangely, wasn’t all that impressive to me. Maybe it’s because it was one of the two events (together with the pro Latin) that I’d been looking forward to. It’s only invitational, so the Blackpool dance committee has to invite the couples, and they only invited 7, and, for some reason, everyone limits their performance piece to about 3 minutes, so the event was over practically before it even began. Definitely Hanna Karttunen and Victor DaSilva from South Africa, who won, were spectacular with their lifts and gravity-defying tricks (they do this one where he lies on his back and rests his body weight on his forearms and holds her body in a lift with his feet), but I don’t know — maybe I’ve seen too much ballet, where the dancers perform just as, if not more, physically demanding pieces and go on for longer. And I think with these exhibitions, they’re more about theatrical, death-defying tricks preceded by drum rolls than about artistry and beauty and with a story-line, like ballet. Maybe I’m just too much of a ballet head to have a lot of appreciation — which is a shame for me since this is the kind of ballroom dancing I most want to do. Oh well, I can seek to be original, right, and do ballroom/ballet — if Pasha and Luis will let me…

Very excited today though because I found a quaint cobble-stoned street with a few benches in the sun, and, because it’s my first day here that it’s been ‘nice’ — meaning not 40 degrees below, I sat outside. A local guy passing by said to me, ‘Dancing are ye?’ Even though I spent a semester in London as an undergraduate, I don’t seem to be able to understand the accents here very well, so I had to ask him to repeat himself. When I finally got it, I smiled and shook my head no. But it made me feel really good because I feel like I’ve gained a good 20 pounds here — eating greasy bacon, sausage, fried eggs, and baked beans every morning at my B&B (using as my excuse that it’d be too rude to the landlady to not finish my plate!), and I’ve developed the nasty but delicious habit of whenever I travel to Europe, sampling every single kind of chocolate that we don’t have in N.Y. — a magnificient way to ‘experience another culture’!! Anyway, after the guy passed by, the proprietor of a flower shop across the street called out to me, ‘You do look like a dancer. Lemme guess, Polish, right?’ I said no, American, laughing. He said, ‘Oh, oh, sorry,’ like he’d just made a huge blunder. It’s so weird to me though, because every time I come to Europe, I have this weird experience of people either asking me really slowly if I can speak English (as a young guy here did trying to sell his festival ticket to me on my first night), or people just start speaking Russian, or Spanish, to me. I don’t know how I could look both Eastern European and Spanish, but clearly (and cooly), I must not look American!

Back to dance… So, I have new favorites here — Latin semi-finalist Yulia Zagoruychenko, whom Mika knows and introduced me to and is very sweet in addition to being, I think, the greatest Samba dancer here. She and Maxim performed their routine from Ohio again during one of the lectures / demonstrations the top coaches and dancers give during the first two days of the festival. It’s called the Congress. This year, Len Goodman, judge of ‘Dancing With the Stars’ in the US and ‘Stricly Come Dancing’ in the UK gave one on tango (interspersed, I might add, with many dirty British-style, Benny Goodman-esque jokes — who know he had this personality?!). Also, the American team coaches gave one on what it’s like to teach in the world’s fast-food capital where teachers are expected to impart the basics of every extant ballroom dance in a single one-hour lesson (mainly geared toward Eastern Europeans considering emigrating but also funny for everyone); Latin’s top dancers Carmen and Bryan Watson gave a very funny one on how not to try to play-act actually being a bull and matodor during Paso but just dancing the dance; America’s top standard couple, Katusha and Jonathan (whom I’ve decided looks like Ralph Fiennes) gave a very polite one on the Viennese Waltz; legendary dancer and now coach Shirley Ballas gave one on the similarities and differences between Latin and Ballroom — specifically tango versus Paso, and foxtrot versus samba (I hadn’t realized how many similarities there actually were…), and the Congress ended with the most celebrated Latin couple in the world, Donnie Burns and Gaynor Fairweather, now nearly 50 though Gaynor honestly looks in her late 20s — who gave a somewhat tear-jerking but funny lecture on what Blackpool, now celebrating its 80th birthday, has meant to them over the many years they competed — a perfect lecture for a first-time Blackpool-goer. There were many more lectures, but too many for me to mention here — but for a newcomer to Blackpool, the pre-competition lectures were essential to the dance festival experience.

And my other new favorite is Sergei Surkov, a Latin dancer from Poland who placed 7th overall with his partner. I had the fortune of seeing him dance up very close, as he did both his early-round cha cha and rhumba right in the corner where I was sitting. He’s absolutely gorgeous — looks a lot like Keanu Reeves — and he moves incredibly well and makes amazing lines. I know Mika would think I’m silly for not thinking of these dancers more as couples, but I don’t yet. I still see them individually, the way I do most ballet dancers. Maybe that will change as I grow more experienced in ballroom.

Okay, the two computers in the internet cafe are very very in demand on a Friday, so I must get going. It’s been a really wonderful time for me here. I’ve learned so much and seen so much and this trip has been so worth it. But, I am getting extremely ballroomed out and am very ready to come home. Tomorrow morning I fly home, and tomorrow evening I will see yet more dance — Marcelo Gomes, my love!, and Julie Kent fly on a pumpkin in the ABT’s Cinderella…

Gorgeous Latin Guys Doing Big Huge Jumps, Oh My!

Last two nights I’ve been at the ABT — Monday night was their opening night gala, and they performed several smaller ballets and parts of ballets the company is going to be performing this season. What a dream 🙂 Angel Corella is just the king of charisma, and Jose Carreno is so amazing he completely steals the show whenever he’s onstage! And, Marcelo!! And, last night was called “Noche Latina” — they did Le Corsaire, a silly ballet but one with loads of cute guys dressed as pirates and donning goatees doing enormous jumps… And they had all the Latin dancers in the main roles to showcase the amazing Latin talent. But, horrendously, no Marcelo… I guess not enough roles for all of that Latin talent…

I love going to these ballets — and seeing all kinds of dance performances — because I think it is so important for dancer wannabes, like me, to watch the dancers very carefully. You pick up so much just really looking closely at them. But the ABT is so theatrical (I guess, hence their name — American Ballet Theater) and they put on such a show, I tend to get carried away in the spectacle of it all. So, I think it’s easier to focus on the dancers when I go to the New York City Ballet. You can get a Fourth Ring Society membership to the NYCB and sit up in the fourth ring for only $15 a performance, which is an amazing deal. And, if you sit on the sides you’re practically right on top of the dancers — I mean, way way on top, but I find I can see them very well, even without opera glasses.

I love this time of year because both ballets are in season simultaneously, and there’s never a dull moment. But, ugh, I’ll have to tear myself away for a bit soon, because I’m going to …. Blackpool!

So Afraid to Go Over the Guy's Head!

Very happy that Pasha is now back in the studio after spending the last three weeks traveling around the country with his students doing Pro/Am competitions. So, we discussed how to not look like a spaghetti by: exerting more control over my body; finding my center and keeping it solid; being grounded (instead of thinking about dancing as akin to flying — it only looks that way and humans really can’t fly); thinking about the lines I’m trying to create; and deciding the character of the piece — ie: I am a girl in love, not a swan, so no flapping arm-wings… He also made me feel much better about not being able to developee my leg all the way up near my head yet, telling me it’s one of the hardest things to do in ballet because it requires great strength and control, and not just flexibility, like it looks.

On the other hand, Luis showed me this crazy overhead lift he wants me to do with him that looks similar to the Bird from Dirty Dancing, but is supposedly easier since I’m pressing down on his shoulders from above and he’s supporting my hips. We tried it but I’m just so scared to go over his head! So, I only went halfway up. He assured me he was strong and told me he wouldn’t do anything with me that he didn’t know I could do and the only thing holding me back was my fear. How do female dancers get rid of those fears?!!! He also wants me to do this cartwheel over his head and land in this Firebird-looking position on his back. Yikes — I’ve been dancing barely two years now and have no gymnastics background! So, anyway, my task over the next week and a half while I’m out of the studio and in Blackpool is to try hard to overcome my fears.

I want to try one of those hand-free fishes, where the girl is in a fish dive and the guy lets go and she holds onto him with her leg wrapped around his back — don’t know exactly what they’re called. No one seems to know what I’m talking about and the way I describe it, they say it sounds physically impossible, which it probably is for me now… But it can’t possibly be as hard as flying over the guy’s head! I’ll have to bring to the studio the picture of Marcelo Gomes and Gillian Murphy doing it in The Ballet Book.

Speaking of which, Monday night is ABT’s opening gala! And next Friday begins Blackpool!! So many exciting things…

Be Careful Whom You're Rude to in New York, Or, Do Not Try to Pick Up a Woman Engrossed in Marcelo Gomes's Butt

During intermission at the New York City Ballet a few nights ago, I was browsing through their gift shop and spotted this large colorful book filled with juicy photos and bios of several ABT and NYCB dancers. Looked enticing, especially for a huge ballet fan. But it was expensive, and with all the money I spend on Ballroom, I’m forced to be a total cheapskate in all of my other leisure spending. So, I figured the next time I had nothing to do, I’d go to Barnes & Noble, camp out on the floor and flip through it.

When my plans for Saturday night were cancelled, that’s just what I did. Whilst sitting cross-legged on the floor (since of course there’s never a free Café chair) contemplating a glossy photo of Marcelo Gomes’s naked backside, I heard this voice above me say, “what ya readin’?” I looked up at the guy to see if he was someone I might know from dance (since I see people from my studio from time to time in the dance section), but he wasn’t; he was this weirdly nerdy guy with a cowlick at his crown and horrible posture. I said it was a book about ballet and he barked, “Ballet? Why?” making me feel defensive. I wasn’t interested in talking to him, so I just kind of hunched further down into the book. He continued looking at me for several seconds, then picked up a music score and plopped down next to me. But I could see him looking at me out of the corner of my eye and felt a bit uncomfortable, especially given the story of poor Imette St. Gillen. You really can’t be too careful right now, you know.

I bent my head down deeply into the mesh screen covering Marcelo, only to sense now another guy on my opposite side, peering down at me. “How do you like that book?,” this one said. Okay, has B&N become the new pickup scene? Or is it just the dance section, because I never get this kind of attention in fiction… I shrugged and mumbled, “Dunno, I just picked it up,” poking my head further into the protective haven that Marcelo’s butt was becoming. But this one chuckled and said, “Well, it’s my book, that’s why I was asking, just wanted to know what you thought.” I looked up at him, not knowing whether to take him for real, and he laughed, seeming to pick up my vibe, then was gone. I flipped to the book’s credits page with pictures of the contributors – a dance critic, the photographer Roy Round, and the publisher who put it all together – and sure enough, he was the latter. Guess he was checking out the stock. His bio looked interesting — he’s actually a lawyer with a keen interest in dance and publishing — hmmm, sounds familiar. He was much older, but he would have been interesting to talk to. Damn, missed my chance. Guess it pays to look and think before making yourself unapproachable — you never know whom you’re going to meet in New York! While exercising due caution, of course.