Calling Forth My Own Dancer Alter Ego, and Other Thoughts on Women and Dancers and Bodies and Men…

Last night I went to the monthly Writers’ Room member readings at Cornelia Street Cafe in the Village (in which I’ll be reading at some point in the not-too-distant-future). Reading were Susan Buttenwieser, a Pushcart Prize finalist, Lara Tupper, a lounge singer-turned novelist whose debut novel, “A Thousand and One Nights” has just been published (how jealous am I?!?!), and last but not least, Signe Hammer, who, because of her bio, I was very interested in hearing. The funny host, playwright Stan Richardson, whom I personally like (though I’m not sure that sentiment is universal amongst the WR crew) always asks the readers what, from the bio they provide him, they are most proud of (still have no damn clue what I am going to say when it comes my turn…) Susan said hers was being nominated for the prize, Lara said hers was being a member of the Barry Manilow fan club (hehehe), and Signe said her short-lived career as a dance / performance artist with Meredith Monk‘s original dance group, The House, was her proudest moment! Immediately everyone clapped loudly; all the writers and their friends knew already of Monk with no further explanation. So, Yay For Dance!! She gave some brief little humorous tidbits about her work with Monk, saying they founded site-specific “Dance Theater” (performing at the Guggenheim and Judson Playhouse before obtaining their own space), as opposed to “Dance Dance” which is what she termed Twyla Tharp’s main enterprize, after trying and failing at Dance Theater. Tharp, she said with humor, realized the genre wasn’t for her after her first effort, which Monk remembered as being a piece where bodies hurled through the air as if propelled by a canon, one after the other, and … that was it. After labeling her and Monk as “Downtown,” Stan asked her if she considered herself “downtown” in terms of her writing, and she snapped, “no, downtown is dead!” Because there is no derriere-garde anymore, she proclaimed, there is no avant-garde either. Hmmmm.

Anyway, the readings were interesting, but maybe it’s just that I’ve seen so much dance lately (and, I guess contemporary Dance Theater), that, I kinda think, uh, the art of simply reading from some pieces of paper requires somewhat of a performance artist. I mean, lying down on your futon with your legs hanging over the back of the frame with a book open in your face — how I read anyway — that’s just the way words were meant to be taken in– by visualizing them on the page. Hearing them spoken just doesn’t allow them to penetrate my brain the same way. Usually. Except when spoken by Ann Liv Young and Laurel Dugan and Forsythe’s dancers. Hmmm, maybe I should ask Laurel to help me, to be my dancer alter ego! Ha ha. No, stage is far too small, and Stan would freak. I’ll have to call forth my own dancer alter ego 🙂

Anyway, in the audience, I met this lady:

Her name is Alice Denham and she was all excited about her new book, whose full title is “Sleeping With Bad Boys: Literary New York in the 1950s and 1960s,” being reviewed in the New York Times. I looked her up and she’s been reviewed all over the place! She gave me a little flyer showing the front and back covers of the book. Back cover reads “Denham’s lusty memoir is a juicy tell-all about a time when male writers were gods and an aspiring and gorgeous female novelist tries to win respect… Caught between the sheets are James Dean, Norman Mailer, Philip Roth… The steam rises page by page as Denham — the only Playboy Playmate to have her fiction published in the same issue as her centerfold — chases her dream of writing as a young, oversexed beauty in the literary swirl of 1950s Greenwich Village…” The Denham I met seemed interesting, intelligent, quirky, and opinionated, as she rolled her eyes at some of our host’s jokes and wasn’t shy about yelling out, “that’s the ONLY funny one of the night” at the one that actually made her laugh (and she’s of course a lot older now than in her picture as shown above)… but she didn’t seem so ‘oversexed’ to me. I guess she read my thoughts because she said, “Oh, they sexed it up, you know,” rolling her eyes. “It’s really a feminist account of a woman in the 50s trying to be taken seriously as a writer.” Looks good, and I do think I’ll check it out. And Susan Brownmiller of “Our Bodies Our Selves” gave it a thumbs up!

One thing though: feminism and the whole (false) mind / body binarism has captured my interest of late, and Denham’s back cover made me think of it again. As dancers, our bodies are all important, and in a way, I guess we are our bodies. But we are also obviously intellectual beings. It’s just upsetting when someone — a man, doesn’t want to accept that, who thinks that because you’re a dancer he can treat you a certain way, disrespect you, say certain things, look at you a certain way — all things that can even be a bit threatening. I’m a lawyer, I’m not used to this. And it’s definitely not all men — definitely not even most; most men are totally cool; it’s just some who ruin it. Do a lot of female dancers get this treatment? What about “sexy” female writers like Denham? Or Candace Bushnell? Ann Liv Young said she got some suggestions about ways she could make her piece “sexier” by men who didn’t understand her work; she just rolled her eyes inwardly and thanked them. Very Dorothy Parker. I love her. Someone asked for Santoro’s phone number, I think she said as well. I wonder how Santoro reacted.

Anyway, on a more positive thought, regarding feminism: there are some really cool things going on in the city this weekend. There’s a “Global Feminisms” exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum on feminist art, and “Indwelling” — a combination of photography exhibits on women’s bodies by female artists, screenings of shorts films such as the movie “A Girl Like Me” which I saw at TriBeCa film festival and blogged about earlier — awesome awesome AWESOME short film by a high-schooler about young African-American girls’ self-perceptions — and some play readings such as The Vagina Monologues. The theme is women’s body images, and it celebrates the 25th Anniversary of the Women’s Therapy Centre Institute and takes place at Cooper Union’s Great Hall. Sounds excellent.

Get Ready For Rhythm!

Emmanuel and Joanna  So, tonight is the American Rhythm Championship portion of America’s Ballroom Challenge (for New Yorkers, that’s Channel 13 at 8 p.m.; check here for local PBS times outside of NY).

Although I’m a student of International Latin, this is one of my favorite competitions to watch — at least live. The crowd really goes wild (more so than for the other competitions, for some reason) — there’s so much shouting and cheering for your favorite, and because of that, the dancers really put on quite a show — in addition to exhibiting their brilliant technique to the judges of course!

Above is my own personal favorite, Emmanuel Pierre-Antoine with his partner Joanna Zacharewicz. In addition to their amazing speed and precise footwork, they are great fun to watch because they exude such character in their routines. Before he left my studio to teach elsewhere, I had the very serendipitous opportunity to take a couple of lessons with Emmanuel. I can say, in addition to being a fabulously fun dancer to watch, he is also one of the best teachers I’ve ever had. When I first started, I used to dance primarily on the balls of my feet, rarely putting my heels down. I longed to emulate that light, weightless feathery look of the dancers I so loved. Of course, as a result, I’d frequently lose my balance, especially on turns. Emmanuel taught me really to feel the floor, to connect to the floor more than anything else. I also used to make the stupid mistake of trying to sense the air more than the floor. I know this sounds ridiculous to an experienced dancer, but I think when you’re a beginner, and you go to the ballet (or other dance performances) all the time, it looks like the dancers are just flying through the air, so you tend to want to imitate that in your dancing. But of course they are not connecting to the air since the air can’t support you. “Real dancers ALWAYS knows exactly where the floor is … we need the floor, we are not birds!” he would always say. The bizarre thing is, as a warm up, or sometimes in the middle of the lesson when he could tell I was forgetting to sense the floor, he would stop what we were doing, go into a closely held “closed position” with me, and just make me do salsa basics until he could tell I was back in touch with the floor again. He’d close his eyes, would tell me to feel the floor … not by stomping or dragging my body weight down into it; just by feeling it with my toes. I don’t know how he did it, but whenever I forced myself to feel the floor, simply by focusing my brain down there, he would know it right off. And he’d also know right away if and when I took my mind elsewhere. Weird! Anyway, whenever I see him at competitions, he always goes out of his way to say hello and ask me how I’m doing, how I’m progressing with my dancing. He’s such a great guy! And such an amazing dancer — he totally deserves to win!

However, these two below, are the couple most favored by the powers that be:

Tony and Elena

They are Tony Dovolani and Elena Grinenko. Tony is probably the most famous ballroom dancer, as he’s been on “Dancing With the Stars” for three seasons now, leading Stacy Keibler to her near victory two seasons ago. He also had a role in the American version of “Shall We Dance,” playing the “mean Latin dancer” who pulls off Stanley Tucci’s wig during the competition. He and Elena are the current reigning American Rhythm champs and will likely win this one as well.

Felipe and Carolina

Above is another favorite couple of mine, Felipe Telona and Carolina Orlovsky-Telona. She has an extensive ballet background, and is such a beautiful dancer, making gorgeous lines. And he is a big, handsome guy who just whisks her around the floor. Charming couple!

This is the first year they’ve opened this competition up ‘to the world,’ which means that you don’t have to reside in the U.S. in order to compete. Because of that, and because some couples are no longer competing (sadly, my former teacher, Luis Grijalva and his partner Anya Fuchs), there are some couples who made the finals, whom I haven’t seen much of before. The above photos are ones I’ve taken myself at various competitions, but these below, I’ve taken from the ABC website:

Evgeny Dyachenko and Inna Ivanenko (whose showcase, judging by the above pic, looks fun!)

Decho Kraev and Bree Watson (who apparently are from my hometown — or nearby anyway — Tempe, AZ), and

Michael Neil and Danielle Wilson.

Should be a very fun night — Rhythm always is 🙂 Here are a few more of my favorite photos of the competitors. Enjoy!

Also, Terpishore Musings has posted a YouTube clip of Emmanuel and Joanna’s showcase exhibition performance from last year. Check it out!

Are Straight Women All Doomed to Orgasm-less Lives Like Sophia in Shortbus?…

Lincoln Center fountain

Last night was so beautiful! Imagine, 60-degree evening temperatures in New York in November! The world’s not all bad…

I ended up without plans, so decided to go to the opera, forgetting that the Met Opera is not the NYCBallet or the ABT, where there are nearly always last-minute Family Circle (that’s poor-people nosebleed section) tickets available. Also didn’t realize that last night was Anthony Minghella’s new production of Madame Butterfly, so not only were there no below-$250 seats available, there were no seats available at all. I waited in the cancellation line anyway, but to no avail. Ended up spending a lovely evening, though, soaking up the gentle misty breeze by sitting on the edge of the plaza fountain people-watching.

But, while in line, I couldn’t help but become quite engrossed in a conversation taking place behind me. Two women in their mid-forties, whose friends were outside trying to buy tickets directly from patrons while they waited in the official cancellation line, struck up a conversation with each other. One asked the other where she bought her boots, yadda yadda, then they exchanged questions of who they were there with — both were with female friends — and soon the conversation turned to men. Neither had ever been married, and neither had a boyfriend, though both were looking. Both were high-level executives with several advanced degrees. Both had been on umpteenth dates recently — had tried Eharmony, Jdate, Match.com, you name it — and were appalled at what they’d met. Not that the men they’d met were lying cheating deadbeat loser date-rapists or any such thing; just that they were horrendously under-sophisticated, under-accomplished, witless bores.

Today I finally got around to seeing the movie Shortbus. The film focuses on the sexual aspect of relationships, and centers around a group of twenty- to thirty-something New Yorkers and their various problems. I thought some of the dialog was witty (although at the beginning seemed a bit writerly), and the character I found most compelling was a gay man from a backwater town who’d turned to hustling in his younger years because it was the only way he knew how to express his sexuality — a situation that involved a lot of abuse and eventually resulted in adult inability to be physically close with his partner. Anyway, the main female character — Sophia — I found rather sadly funny. Her problem was that she couldn’t have an orgasm. I’m actually not sure what explanation the screenwriters ended up giving for this — the character mentioned something about having strict parents during a therapy session with a dominatrix. But I thought it was so damn obvious — she couldn’t have an orgasm because her husband was a pathetic loser. He wasn’t a bad person at all — he was a nice, and rather cute guy — just boring as hell and nowhere near a match for her accomplishments. Cute doesn’t cut it these days…

I’ve tried some of those dating services those Met women were talking about and found the same thing they did, the same thing Sophia was left with. And I don’t think it’s the Helen Fielding / Nick Hornby dilemma we’re facing at this point: I don’t think most of them are noncommittal cheaters. Many of the guys I dated weren’t scared of commitment, it was more that they were ready to settle down as long as that meant moving to some boring suburban town where they could spend as little time in the office as possible and come home every night to the TV and DVD player. I swear, several men listed TiVo and Netflix in their “Five Things I Can’t Live Without” lists. They didn’t have interesting jobs, they weren’t impassioned about their careers, they just didn’t seem interested in really doing something with their lives, in really being someone. Most of them had less education than I did and less career and educational achievements. I think for most women, like for Sophia in the movie, it’s hard if not impossible to feel sexual passion for a man they don’t feel passion for in general. And who can feel passion for these guys?

"God is the Man With the Greatest Sense of Humor in the Universe"

Took a break today from outlining my oral argument for court tomorrow to see the movie I think (I hope anyway) is going to take all the Oscars this year, “Running With Scissors.” It’s one of my favorite contemporary books and, as always, I was very dubious going into the theater. But, wow, did writer-director Ryan Murphy do justice to Burroughs’s book or what?! He did a bit of reworking so that the story would have more of an overall arc (and not so comprised of random bits of events), expounded on some characters and side-stories, and threw in some killer dialog, but overall it’s the same story as the book. And Augusten does a little cameo at the end during credits 🙂 The film also evinces (my favorite lawyer word 🙂 ) the power of amazing acting. Film ends up centering around the mother, played by Annette Bening, instead of main character Augusten, Jill Clayburgh creates much more depth, pathos and sympathy in a character in whom all that was lacking in the book, and, finally, OH MY GOD Joseph Fiennes completely blew me away with his portrayal of the schizophrenic statutory rapist who figures only in passing in the book. Took me practically the entire movie to figure out who it was behind that Village People-esque handlebar moustache, but once I remembered seeing his name in the write-up, I had to laugh to myself; I knew it took a powerhouse to create that kind of unforgettable character. He deserves every major award for that one. The one scene they left out that I wish they hadn’t was when teenage Augusten slips a paper bearing his phone number to the convenience store clerk only to turn around and see him laughing at it with two girls. You really felt sorry for him in the book when he was mocked for having unwittingly come on to a straight guy, and it imbued with a subtle poignancy Burroughs’s reflection that lacking a parent to instill in him a sense of reservation and teach him to think before acting had bitter consequences. The film totally Hollywoodized the sentiment by using it as a voice over during some of the more outrageous scenes.

I had a weirdly depressing weekend (feeling very anticlimactic now that my showcase is over, worried about being behind at work since I took off so much time to prepare for said showcase, sad that Luis will no longer be my teacher, and shell-shocked at learning from my high school reunion booklet that a classmate I’d known passed away sometime in the past ten years), and the movie had a similar effect on me as when I saw “Girl Interrupted.” It was the first time I’ve actually cried in the theater since I don’t know when, and when I got home, all I could do was sit in the dark with a glass of red wine and stare into space. It was comical, sadly pathetic, horrifying, deranged, and dramatically compelling all at the same time — like, in my opinion, all the best art is– and it just made me feel like I, like Deirdre Burroughs, like Susanna Kaysen, like Anne Sexton, like Sylvia Plath, am potentially so close to the edge. Like, it’s human to be so…and it’s only a matter of luck that prevents some from going over it.

In a not unsimilar vein, I’ve been to ABT three times in the past half week; here are two pics I took of David Hallberg at curtain call after his brilliant performance as Death in Kurt Jooss’s The Green Table.

Is Dance an Art Form or a Set of RULES? Is It Time For A Re-Release of Baz Luhrmann's Spectacular 1992 Film???

Okay, I must rant. Has anyone seen “Dancing With the Stars” for the past two weeks? Has anyone seen Karina’s BRILLIANT choreography for Mario — last week’s Swingy Quickstep and this week’s Standard Tango mixed with elements of Argentine? What I have always loved about Karina, and the reason I was so ecstatic upon seeing her name listed as a participant in this season’s show, is her brilliant artistry. Though fellow ballroom enthusiasts debate me about her world rank technique-wise, artistically speaking, she is by far the most exciting ballroom dancer today. Everything from her unique choreography, music and costume choices, and just her beautiful stylistics and the way she executes even basic steps — I savor the opportunity to watch her perform like I do no other ballroom dancer. Yet, the judges bashed her both weeks for not staying within the RULES — criticisms the audience clearly didn’t understand. First, even assuming arguendo that there should be rigid RULES that the dancers adhere to, Americans took traditional English Quickstep music, melded it with African-American rhythms, the music became known as Swing, and Americans originated a new dance form to that music. Today, the same music can be used for Quickstep (by the English primarily), or Swing. So, Karina was not off-base, even RULE-wise, by choreographing a Swingy Quickstep routine for Mario; it was simply an Americanized Quickstep. And it was perfect for Mario’s body and his dancing strengths. HELLO HELLO HELLOOOOOO???. This is what real choreographers do in the world of real dance, where dance is considered an art form: they choreograph according to the dancer’s strengths.

This week, I honestly didn’t even understand the judges’ criticisms. Was it that the Tango was too Argentinian and not Standard enough? (Because Tango didn’t originate out of Argentina or anything…) I honestly didn’t understand what RULE Karina’s choreography violated. And, if I, a ballroom enthusiast and student, didn’t understand, how could the idiotic judges expect the audiences to? Do the judges even realize that they are not in a formal ballroom competition setting, blabbering with other judges? Do they realize who the audience is? If they don’t, I will tell them: the audience is comprised of normal people who want to see fabulous, exciting ballroom dancing.

Maybe the problem lies in what ballroom dancing, or DanceSport, really is considered. When I was at the U.S. National DanceSport competion in Florida earlier this month, one judge remarked how wonderful it was that, with the proliferation of shows like “Dancing With the Stars,” people were growing to love our SPORT. Not art. Not that DanceSport is not a sport, of course, with the immense speed required for some of the Latin dances and faster Standard dances like Quickstep, and the strength and flexibility required for spectacular lifts in the exhibitions. But Ballet, while requiring deft athletic ability, is obviously an art as well — it would have to be for it to be watchable. And Ballet is of course meant to be watched. In Ballet, the competitions are merely a means for dancers to achieve a status high enough for them to get a job with a good company, so that they can spend their careers performing; competitions aren’t ends in themselves, as they are in ballroom. Which is probably the heart of the problem. In ballroom, dancers spend their careers competing for world titles; the title in and of itself is the goal. They then spend their post-competition careers teaching ballroom dance to students — both up and coming pro dancers and just people who want to learn how to social dance. So, they never really have performance careers. Until now. Which is why the rules regarding the RULES need to change.

And, what are rules, anyway? The desire for those in power to control someone else? Does that have any place in an art form? Artists — both performers and choreographers – need freedom to create or the art form will die.

Even in the world of competition, the RULE thing needs to take a break. All of the couples at the top levels are in excellent athletic shape and have perfect technique. Shouldn’t they be judged on their artistry too? In ballroom competitions, the same couples tend to stay on top for years and years on end, preventing new and upcoming couples from ever really making it. Which is so unfair to them — and boring for us to watch.

It’s only now, when I’ve begun going regularly to the comps, and have started doing my own student showcases and trying my hand at helping to choreograph my own routines, that I’m realizing the beauty and value of Baz Luhrmann’s brilliantly spectacular 1992 film, “Strictly Ballroom.” I saw it earlier, closer to the time when it first came out, but then I knew nothing about the rigid, staid world of ballroom dance. Now that TV shows like DWTS are popularizing the … whatever (I’ll call it ‘art’ because that’s, in my heart, what it is) of ballroom dance, and the judges are getting booed right and left for their “your broke the RULES whining”, I think it’s time for a re-release — bring back Baz!!

Cronica de una Fuga

Wednesday night I was invited to a very early sneak preview of this amazing film. It depicts the true 1977 story of an Argentinian soccer player who was kidnapped and detained by the military government then in place for being part of a rebel group — charges of which he was completely innocent. It was very Solzhenitsyn, very scary. The beginning was confusing — I couldn’t tell what was going on, just that his family was being threatened, then that he was being captured and beaten by someone for something — and that something I never completely understood. At first, I found this confusion annoying, and couldn’t help comparing the movie to another favorite of mine, In the Name of the Father, starring Daniel Day Lewis. But that story was told from an omniscient point of view (it showed Gerry Conlon getting into petty trouble by the police, then the Belfast pub bombing, and then how the government officials were led, wrongly, to Conlon and his friends as the perpetrators, much of the action to the rhythmic beat of poppy U2 music… maybe it was told from the omniscient p.o.v. partly because of pressure to avoid being accused of IRA sympathy?…) But this film was far less Hollywood, more quiet, more real, and I soon realized, was meant to be told mainly from the main character’s perspective precisely so that we’d relate to him. He had no idea what was happening to him and why, and the audience experiences that bewilderment along with him. Full of disturbing but necessary violent images, it becomes an edge-of-your-seat thriller once the four prisoners we come to know the best plot their escape. It stars Rodrigo de la Serna, who played Alberto Granada in Motorcycle Diaries. Since he played the character opposite Che Guevara in that movie, attention wasn’t focused on him, but here you can really see what an amazingly talented actor he is. The whole film is extremely well acted. And it powerfully drove home how horrible, how frightening it is when it’s the government who’s organizing the terrorism; when there’s no accountability. I don’t want to give anything away, but it isn’t until the tail end of the movie, when you’re told, via text, the final outcome of the men’s lives years later, that you feel safe. As bored as I sometimes get practicing law, it reminded me that where there’s no judicial system, there’s no protection of human rights. It made me feel better — at least momentarily — about being a part of that system, even if I’m just a tiny cog in one wheel of a huge machine. During the focus group held after the viewing, which I participated in, the discussion leader asked what one word people would use to describe the film, and, amidst terms like “thriller,” “suspenseful,” and “intense,” a woman shouted out “relevant.” Totally. There definitely need to be more films like this — about ALL forms of government-endorsed torture.

Anyway, not to be facetious given the gravity of the film, but Rodrigo de la Serna is cute! And, funnily, I kept seeing male ABT principal dancers in the movie too. Horribly, the murderous power-hungry leader of the detention house kept reminding me of Marcelo, albeit ten years older and with a 70s Village People-esque moustache, and I kept seeing Herman Cornejo in the bravely insolent prisoner who sets the escape plan in motion… And, using another dance metaphor, as someone in the focus group remarked, the escape was really well choreographed. The men are all completely naked, since they’ve been stripped by their detainers, so the climbing down walls, swinging on ropes, sprinting down streets, etc. seems like it would have been difficult without exposing too much… yet it was really well done. And the cinematography was interesting too — I normally don’t notice things like that, but in the early scenes, where the men are blindfolded or beaten senseless, the director shot the captors and insides of the house at an angle, so you were cocking your head all about trying to make sense of what you were seeing, much like one of the prisoners. It was a gorgeous film; I don’t know how long it’s going to be until it comes out, because they usually don’t have the focus groups if the film is nearly done, but when it does open, GO SEE IT!!!

Speaking of movies: my friend Nicole found this article about the short film I’d posted about earlier that I’d seen at the Tribeca Film Festival. Made by this preternaturally sophisticated teenager, Kiri Davis, it’s entitled “A Girl Like Me,” and deals with young African American girls’ internalized self-hatred; the young filmmaker astutely performed the same doll test as Dr. Kenneth Clark that Thurgood Marshall used in the landmark anti-segregation case, Brown v. Board of Ed. I’m so glad to see she’s getting more exposure for her amazing film! Go Kiri!!!

Perhaps ABT dancers were on my mind when I saw Cronica because I just spent LOADS on my subscription to their fall City Center season. Ugh. But I did save 27% by buying my tickets all together (they give you a discount for a purchase of three or more performances), and so of course I used this savings to justify getting orchestra seats, where I find I can get the most out of the performance… They’re setting up at the theater now — there’s a huge poster of Marcelo lifting Julie outside 🙂 And more pics inside, in their lovely brochure: Herman looking very dapper in Twyla Tharp’s Sinatra Suite, David in The Green Table, the guys in Stanton Welch’s Clear, and absolutely gorgeous pictures by Fabrizio Ferri of the principals — I don’t think anyone has photographed them so well. Particularly David — he really brought out his strong Roman bone structure, delicate light skin and beautiful light blue eyes; and Jose — he shot him from below, so he looks all powerful, like the hunky badass NY actor Franky G., albeit half the size and likely possessing four times the strength 🙂 If Ferri wasn’t Alessandra‘s partner, I’d think he was gay. Not that a man (a male artist anyway) needs to be gay to appreciate male beauty but… Anyway, I’m very excited about ABT — will be a good thing to come back to after returning from my big ballroom / beach blast in Florida. As will — not to be goofy and I’m totally not a TV-head — Dancing With the Stars, starring Karina Karina Karina! Ooh, don’t they look adoooorable?!?

Dumber Than a 6-Year-Old, 6 is the New 14, and Money Money Money!

I cannot for the life of me memorize my choreography. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Luis and I have our Latin combo Cha Cha / Samba / Salsa / Merengue routine almost finished, except for the “series of overhead lifts and tricks” (yikes…) he has planned, which we couldn’t choreograph yet because we need the big studio with the high ceilings (double yikes…) for that. I spent all afternoon Sunday watching and re-watching and re-re-watching the damn video I made of us, and I thought I had it all down, but when he turned on the blasted music and we were actually going at it, I forgot everything! David Hallberg posted a picture on The Winger of a bunch of little kids, by the looks of it not more than 6 years old, tremendously excited about having little roles in ABT‘s Le Corsaire last week. He commented how he could have never remembered his choreography at that age. And it made me think, ‘geez, I am dumber than a 6 year old kid…’ — just like when you’re in a foreign country trying so hard to learn the language and some little local kid comes along and blurts out sentence after sentence after sentence in perfect fluency and you feel like the greatest idiot…

On top of learning this choreography and mastering these crazy to-come lifts, I have a new worry over my head: money. Ballroom dancing is getting really expensive. I mean, I want to practice practice practice until I’m as perfect as possible — because how are my routines possibly going to look good if I don’t? But that’s hard when I have to pay a lot of money for every 50-minute lesson with each of my two teachers. I’m going to practice on my own as much as I can, and kill myself with far less expensive ballet classes for overall dance technique, but I can’t really practice lifts very well on my own. And you can’t really practice much in ballroom alone — ballroom by definition takes two. At the studio last night, one of my fellow students, who competed in a local pro-am competition last weekend, was all upset because her husband came unglued over her I won’t say how many thousand dollar credit card bill last MONTH. Unfortunately, it is so believable to me that you could rack up a several thousand dollar bill in only one month on this kind of dancing. Gowns are around $1000 at least, competition entry fees well over a thousand, teacher fees in the hundreds, likewise studio fees, and the bizillions of private lessons you need to get yourself ready. .. it’s breathtaking, really. And this was in Brooklyn, so there weren’t even any transportation costs. I jokingly told her to tell him, “please, dear, it’s necessary to my human development,” but I felt like she’s really lucky to have a husband who can afford it in the first place! I certainly don’t; and am struggling to afford it myself as it is…

Anyway, to try to calm myself down, I went to see The Devil Wears Prada. Mad great wicked fun! Of course I sat in the raucous-with-laughter ‘gay man section’ so that might have (greatly) helped set the mood for my viewing… Very campy in a “Valley of the Dolls” sort of way and somewhat satirical like “Heathers” or “Clueless,” and the genius screenwriter both gave Meryl Streep and Stanley Tucci some nastily cool lines and re-wrote the plot to make it sweeter and with more heart than the book. At one point, in explaining to protagonist Andy why Streep was really going out on such a limb to hire her — “the smart fat girl” — Tucci exclaims that size 4 is the new 2, 2 the new 0, and 6 (Andy’s size of course) the new 14! Very wickedly funny movie, and far better than the book.

On one last note, I want to bring attention to Doug Fox‘s new blog, Dance That Matters, which will deal with how dance informs and speaks to the compelling social issues of our time, such as global warming, genocide, and wrongful incarceration, and will log what dancers and dance companies are doing to help improve their communities. As someone with a keen interest in both social justice issues and dance, I am really hoping this takes off. Go Doug!

Dead Weight, Lightweight, and Boxing, Bullfighting Ballroom Dancers

“Dead weight. Dead weight. Dead weeiighttt,” Pasha kept moaning while shaking his head all throughout my lesson last week. Ugh. Could I feel fatter? I guess when we do this far-more-complicated-than-it-looks lift / dip / spin thingy that I stole from my favorite Latin diva, Karina Smirnoff, I’m supposed to hold myself up by pushing my pelvis as far into Pasha’s groin as possible. Otherwise, I’m “Dead Weighttt” ie: too much for him to hold up. It just feels weird and, like, violative of boundaries dare I say, since I’m crushing my bony crotch as far as possible into his. I guess real dancers get over the boundary thing fast. But I still don’t completely understand when guys tell me to hold myself up. I know I have to strengthen my body during a lift and hold my position as much as I can, so I’m not dragging him down, but how much can you hold yourself up while suspended in mid air? And what about during a dip when you’re supposed to be “dipping” at least part of your body downward?

Then, while choreographing a rag doll into our routine (I couldn’t find a good link to this, but it’s the trick all the dancers are doing in the party scene at the beginning of “Dirty Dancing” that so seduces Jennifer Grey), Luis kept telling me to put my body weight completely into his hands so he could control me, and the trick, better. I kept trying but I couldn’t seem to do what he wanted, and he kept saying he knew I wasn’t as lightweight as I felt and that I must not be trusting him with my whole weight. Ugh! I totally don’t get it — am I too heavy and not working hard enough to hold my own, or am I not heavy enough indicating distrust?? Are all male partners just different or am I nuts??!

Anyway, speaking of Luis, tomorrow night, he and Anya will be teaching the salsa lesson at Midsummer Night Swing! Be there!

And, this weekend is the super mad fun Manhattan Dancesport Championships at the Marriott in Brooklyn Heights. This is the most prestigious dancesport competition in the mid-Atlantic region and all of the top U.S. couples compete at it (so, look for Andrei Gavriline and Elena Kruyschkova in Latin, and Jonathan Wilkins and Katusha Demidova in Standard). The event begins Thursday with pro/am competitions (when students compete with their teachers), and continues through Sunday evening. Saturday and Sunday nights will be the most fun to watch since they are the professional comps. Saturday is pro Latin (dancers compete in: cha cha, samba, rhumba, paso doble, and jive), and will be followed by an exhibition by the lovely and amazing Sharon Savoy (who, with her old partner, David Savoy, has performed at the Olympics and was a driving force behind making Dancesport an official Olympic sport). Sunday night are the comps in pro American Rhythm (American-style cha cha and rhumba, bolero, swing, and mambo) and Standard (waltz, foxtrot, viennese waltz, tango, and quickstep), and is to be followed by a cabaret show choreographed by Las Vegas choreographer Wendy Johnson, who I’m told really knows how to create a spectacle. These competitions are all a lot of fun and this is one of the best: the crowd can get so raucous rooting for their favorites, the dance floor can start to resemble a boxing match (except the ‘boxers’ are wearing beautiful ballgowns and lovely smiles:)). I will be excited to see the Latin because, ever since Blackpool, I can’t seem to get the paso doble music out of my mind — it’s so dramatic! And you don’t exactly hear it often on the radio… This comp is a perfect way for people to be introduced to the world of Dancesport. It’s a bit pricey — evening tkts are $50, but it’s worth it because the fun lasts for at least six hours (far longer than a Broadway show!) and it’s for a good cause — the dancers’ awards; and ballroom dancers don’t make a lot of money, so they need those prizes…

Lastly, watching Julio Thursday night at the ABT was unforgetable. He will be missed,to make a massive understatement. My pictures are up. I was in the nosebleed section but you can still see the basic action. Enjoy!

What Is the Point of Building a World Trade Center Memorial…

if it, along with all of lower Manhattan, San Francisco, and about three-quarters of Florida in this country alone, are soon going to be underwater, if Greenland and western Antartica continue to melt at their current rate? A favorite dance blogger of mine first recommended this film, then a fellow alum, director Davis Guggenheim, sent around a heartfelt email discussing his motivations for making it, and I just had to go. I had no idea how urgent the threat of global warming was until I saw An Inconvenient Truth this weekend. Al Gore presents the issue in a very clear way with lots of pictorials and graphics, and even a little humor, to make it interesting. Everyone should see it regardless of political affiliation. So compelling — really, terrorism is far from the only thing we have to fear…

I just finished transferring to video the tape I made on my camcorder last Monday of Luis and me dancing the choreography he’s done so far for our routine. Video recorders are an absolute must-have for dance students wishing to perform. Professional dancers can easily remember their choreography, but for a beginner, there is no other way to memorize than to videotape it. I tried writing it all down with my first teacher, Kelvin, and, when I showed him my notebook, he burst out laughing, “these are damn lawyer notes; I have no idea what they mean!” I had no dance vocabulary and just described in excruciating, and hence meaningless, detail every single movement. So found out the hard way writing is absolutely no use to a dancer, who is by trade visually- not verbally-oriented. A camcorder is the only way to go. And even at that it’s so hard for me to memorize. I wish so much I’d never quit dance as a child!!!!!

I normally don’t see the same ballet twice during the same season, but Friday I saw ABT‘s Cinderella again to see David Hallberg dance the role of Prince Charming, so I could compare him to his dressing-room roommate, Marcelo! (whose name I must follow with an !) My favorites are Jose, Alessandra, and Marcelo!, and I normally try to get tickets when one of them is performing, but David‘s contributions to my favorite dancer blog made me interested in seeing him too. And I’m very glad I did: he made a very dashing prince — and it’s interesting to see two different dancers interpret the same role. David‘s slightly smaller so kind of gets around the stage more quickly and does really amazing jumps, and his lifts with Gillian looked completely effortless. But Marcelo! is so big and it’s so romantic to see him envelope little Julie in his arms… And he has such a wonderful appreciation for women (as he expresses in many a good interview) — it really shows in his beautiful partnering 🙂
Tony’s are on, gotta go…

Big Fat Ugly Toe

Embarrasingly, I broke down and went to the podiatrist yesterday for stupid toe pain and swelling. Two weeks ago when I was in the studio with Pasha I suddenly felt this horrible surge of pain surge through my right big toe and, after the severe pain went away, it kept hurting. I thought I may have a splinter from the hardwood floor, but when I got home I looked and looked and couldn’t find anything in my toe or shoe. It continued to hurt off an on all the way through Blackpool. So the doctor took an x-ray and verified there’s no splinter or glass. But what I do have is a bone spur, an inflammation surrounding the bone, caused by pressing down too hard on the bone. So, how am I supposed to point or go up on high releve, onto the tips of my toes??? Doc says I’ll need to ice it regularly and take Ibuprofin when pain gets bad, and possible Cortizone injections may be in my future.

So, I have only been dancing two years now and this is my injury list thus far: tendonitis in both hips, bursitis in both hips, partially torn meniscus in right knee, strained left adductor muscle, partially torn ligament in left wrist, tendonitis in right thumb (latter two are due, I kid not, to guys in class holding me too hard — and my hand surgeon made me promise I would either learn to be more assertive and tell my classmates not to manhandle me so roughly or else I’d have to stop with the group classes and only take private lessons with pros), and now this bone spur in my big toe. I don’t know how professional dancers do it. I only dance a couple of hours a day!

Yesterday on my way home, I ran into an old friend from my former studio, Brittania, who told me she’s competing for the first time with her teacher at the upcoming Manhattan Dancesport Championships, which brightened my day because I was starting to get depressed from Blackpool being over and getting back into my daily grind, when she reminded me of this fabulous competition coming up over 4th of July weekend. This was one of the first I attended and is what made me really fall in love with the idea of competing. All of the best pro dancers in the country are there, as it’s the most prestigious comp in the mid-Atlantic region. It’s at the Marriott in Brooklyn Heights (despite the competiton’s name…) and much more will be posted closer in time!

While talking with Brittania, I saw Doug Liman (director of Swingers, Go, and Bourne Identity movies), which excited me because, before dance overtook my life and I was a big movie-goer, I used to have a crush on him — partly because he went to my alma mater and his father was a big bleeding-heart do-gooder attorney. My friends make fun of me because I have been known to practically bump right into, without recognizing, people like Gwynneth Paltrow and Wesley Snipes (Gwynneth was incognito and my friend only recognized her by her sunglasses, which she saw her wearing in Vogue, but Wesley was actually filming and thus surrounded by cameras and crew!), but then I’ll recognize a behind-the-scenes director walking down the street, or a ballet dancer like Herman Cornejo on the subway…

Brown v. Board of Education Re-Do

This has nothing to do with dance, but I just saw the most amazing little film at the Tribeca Film Festival. It was included in a group of short films by very young (ie: teenage) filmmakers in New York. The last one was about African American girls’ standards of beauty, questioning the extent to which they are still defining themselves by white standards. The filmmaker decided to re-perform the study used by Thurgood Marshall in the landmark case, Brown v. Board of Ed. supporting his argument for desegregation. It was so incredibly upsetting to see these African American children all point to the white doll when asked by the filmmaker which doll they would rather play with. These children were far too young to have been “acting.” The last little girl, barely four years old, after choosing the white doll as a playmate was asked which one most resembled her, and her tiny face turned so angry as she shoved the black doll at the filmmaker. That image stayed with me all night. It made me think the study should be performed on a larger scale. It was so amazing to be so struck by such a young director — Tribeca rocks!